Depression

ZPOST72,
how are you doing? Have you found the employment places in your city (I presume a city)?

Posted your resume on the internet? Searched on web locations like "Indeed". For example, If I put some of my qualifications into Indeed, lets say just Java programming and physics I find a job with this in the description:
"Working knowledge in full stack Java development is an advantage. Bachelor’s degree in geophysics, physics, mathematics, computer science, engineering or..."

i am registered with a few staffing agencies so I am not ditching them. I am willing to work whatever I can get right now.

ZPOST72,

As you search for a new job, don't over look a contract. Many companies will hire workers are contractors before hiring them as full time employees. Each time I had been laid off, I found work as a contractor. My work on the projects lead to full time permanent employment. Unfortunately, like James, when a company needs to make cuts, everyone is out of luck.

When you scan the job postings, don't ignore the contracts. They can be a good opportunity to get back to work. full time job offers are few and far between. Companies know they can hire a contractor to do the same job as a full time employee for less.

Here's a piece of advice a friend of mine gave me when I was laid off.

"Your skills have VALUE".

Don't sell yourself short.

ZPOST72,
a long time ago I kept finding employment, but it kept going away on me, so I sympathize.

I moved cities for an interesting job, within 2 years the company was bankrupt and everyone lost their jobs. I found contract work at another place, a six month contract, so no security, it got renewed for another 6 months, but during that time they started laying off regular staff, so I knew I wouldn't be renewed, and I started looking again.

I found a job in another city, but when it finally came down to an offer it was 30% less than had been verbally discussed. I was torn, move and take that or be unemployed and hope for better.

I ultimately moved yet again, to what I thought would be a better paying job, and it was, but the cost of housing in that city was much higher, and I hadn't taken that into account. After accepting that offer I hit that reality.

All of that in about 18 months. So I understand.

@ZPOST72 - the Community Classes I was referring to were exercise classes.

Good luck with your future and your goals.

Kris

duplicate post

Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 8/25/2018 (15:51)

ZPOST72,

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your job. Having been laid off twice in the past 5-6 years, I can empathize. Even if you were terminated, you should call your state unemployment office because you could still qualify for some UI benefits. Check online to see when you can call. Your social security number will determine what days you call.

You can also ask them if there is a career center. When someone is laid off or loses their jobs, there are state agencies that can help them get training or point them in the direction of job postings. When I was laid off, I would go to my local career center each week to check the job postings. They also have computers that can be used if you don't have a computer or internet at home.

Things are really stressful, but if you can focus on finding a new job, that may help you feel better. Also, if you can't afford a yoga class, then take a daily walk. When I was laid off, I made it a point to take a walk every single day. Since I still had my gym membership, I worked out too. There are only so many resume tweaks, cover letters or job searches a person can do in a day. Taking a walk helped me reduce stress.

And well, if you would like to try yoga, you don't need any money. there are tons of great FREE yoga classes posted on youtube. Watch a couple to see if there are any that interest you. Same with the gym. If you need to cancel your gym membership, go on youtube. there are tens of thousands of free workouts posted.

And while I am not expert, what have you been eating ? Some times a poor diet can be linked to poor concentration. If you're eating comfort foods because of the stress of losing your job and your husband's death, you need to try your best to eat more healthfully. get the junk out of the house if possible. out of sight, out of mind. if there are no cookies in the house, you can't munch on them mindlessly.

As always, if you need to vent, you can vent here. If you don't need advice, just ask for a cyber hug.

I've only been on Lexapro a few months, first 10mg then 5mg now it will be 2.5mgs. I am feeling better. It's been making me sleepy during the day. I take it at 9pm every night. Sometimes when I get up, I am still sleepy.

I still have a brain to do my work but the last job said I made too many mistakes so they terminated me. I am more into the Accounting field of work then just data entry. I am still friends with my brother-in-law. He was just here today helping clean the porch furniture.

I have joined meetup.com and started going out with them. But since I don't have a job anymore I can't afford to go. I know God will provide. I should get another job soon. God bless you. stay strong.

ZPOST72,
you have it tough. How long have you been on Lexapro? Does it help?

In my case I had memory problems, a brain tumour and would have lost my job if I didn't have medical coverage. I essentially lost my job because I can't work at what I used to do. At my worst I couldn't remember the name of the neighbours, or what was behind the kitchen cabinets, like to find a drinking glass, I had to keep searching until I found them.

So I got depressed, since I used to do complicated things, writing system software for IBM, and I was very very far from that. I've thankfully recovered quite a bit post surgery, not 100%, but I accept that.

I too took an anti-depressant, cymbalta. But then I felt just strange, and it didn't improve my mood at all. I wasn't on that drug long, and at a low dose, and I just stopped taking it. Eventually I just faced the situation, and ultimately accepted it, as I really had no other choice.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband, but I think you need to do other things to get on with life. Get involved with people and things. Do you have clubs, or social groups? Can you throw yourself into a new job search?

Edited by: -JAMES- at: 8/25/2018 (08:09)

what kind of community classes are you talking about? We have a library not far.from me.

I am very sorry to hear that. Hopefully something suitable comes along very quickly. It helps to create a list of the things that you like and work your transferable skills into that. It is amazing how many jobs there are for people with those skill sets ... jobs that we hadn't normally considered.

In the meantime, be very kind to yourself. Are there any free community classes near where you live?

Kris

I got terminated today for making too many mistakes so it won't work with them now.
thanks for trying to help. I won't be able to afford any yoga classes or anything else for a while.

This seems to be a nice group of people on a similar journey together. For those struggling, make sure to check in often. I find it helps. :)

@-JAMES-
Something happened to your post.

Kris

I'm sorry for your loss. My wife lost her first husband at an early age with a young child also.

Edited by: -JAMES- at: 8/21/2018 (00:56)

ZPOST72 - I am sorry for your loss. I certainly understand the lack of concentration. Mine isn't too good at the best of times as the result of a head injury a few years ago, but after my Hubby died suddenly, it worsened for quite a while.

It does take time. Have you spoken with your Dr about this? It might be that a referral to a Grief Therapist will be able to give you techniques to cope with this, but one of the things I found most helpful was to only concentrate on one thing at a time. Often with work, tho', there are a lot of things on the go at one time. If this sounds like you, try to pare back and perhaps make a brief note of the other things that need doing, and then put it down and work on the task at hand.

Big hugs,
Kris

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, ZPOST.

You're still grieving for your beloved husband. That takes time.

If you find yourself distracted at work, can you ask your supervisor for a complex project to work on ? Perhaps if you took on more work, the work would help keep you focused.

If I'm bored at work, I try to find projects that keep me busy. When I'm busy, the day flies by.

Also, have you considered taking up yoga ? Yoga isn't about being more flexible. There are yoga classes that focus on meditation. Maybe learning to meditate could help you focus at work.

my husband passed away last November and I'm on Lexapro only 5mg. I am still not able to concentrate at work. help! what should I do?

Bbedel. I'm with you . eEfen though I at least write a food journal and exercise just about every day I,ve gained 5 pounds since last July.
Im not employed right now despite making efforts so my self esteem and finances ore low right now.
I get really deprssed about weighing 206 or so pounds. I am so big} When I see myself in pictures I look like a tank.
I was normal weight until 2013.
For encouragemint just know I'm wishing you well.

Hi BBEDEL,

I began taking a vit D supplement earlier this year, prescribed by my Dr, after I had some blood work done. At first I thought my fatigue was due to my anemia (I also take iron supplements for that), but once I began taking the Vit D, I see the positive difference it has made. It wouldn't hurt to get that checked.

Best wishes!

Maria

BBEDEL,
glad you are reading the replies on this discussion. So I presume you'll read mine too.

I'm not a medical doctor, so I'm only giving some random thoughts here.

I had a brush with depression a few years ago. My question for anyone in this state is to ask yourself is it due to a real situation, or is it something more physical or chemical? I have a friend whose husband of 10 years (and 2 children) suddenly said he was gay, and left her with the kids. He actually was gay, and she was his ticket out of Poland. She felt used, betrayed, and wondered why life had dealt her such a bad deal. She got depressed and has been on medication for the last 15 years.

Now she had a real reason to be upset, depressed, etc. In this case I think she needed to work through her problems, and has muddled her feelings and not moved on for a very long time, and either just letting those feelings flow, drug free would probably have had her move on long ago.

Of course being suicidal is another issue.

In my case, I was doing research in physics at one point, then pretty substantial software development for IBM, and being flown around the world as a consultant. Then a brain tumour stopped all that, and post surgery I had lost that fine tuned brain. I'm still clever enough, but not to the same degree. I got pretty depressed for a few months. Where had I gone? I wasn't coming back. My emotions changed too, and I got impulsive. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. Intellectually I knew I was different. Where had the "real" me gone? I had lost myself. My self worth was defined in terms of academics, intellectual work, and a high I.Q. and a lot of that was seriously gone. Like a star athlete with an incurable injury.

I was on anti-depressants briefly, but it made me feel weird. So there I was feeling weird, and still having poor memory. It took me about 8 months to slowly accept my new situation. I now write a lot of things down on lists that I didn't used to, I cope.

I just thought you should know that others of us out here understand.

Edited by: -JAMES- at: 9/3/2017 (00:36)

Thanks for all the kind responses. I really do appreciate it. I just struggle sometimes, and yesterday was a very hard day. But I am doing a bit better today.

To answer some questions that were asked below - I do see a psychiatrist and she has tried a few different medications. The combination I am currently taking is Vyvanse/Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin for the depression and Vyvanse for my binge eating disorder.

I also have been seeing a therapist for about 3 years now. I know I am much better than when I started. I was suicidal and just really really low. However, I'm not anymore and I am glad.

For exercise, I did fall off the bandwagon about a year or so ago. I was doing a boot camp at 6am and it was great. Hard, but good. But then I started a new medication and I just could not get out of bed. I was on that for about 6 months, and was finally taken off of it. Now, a lot heavier than I was, am trying to get back into exercising by swimming and walking. I want to make myself go to the gym and do a boot camp again - but it is hard for me to get that motivation.

I also have been tested for thyroid issues, PCOS, and all that good stuff. Though I don't think I have had my Vitamin D tested. But I did not have any of them. The only thing they found is I do have an elevated testosterone level - which affects me not getting my period. So, along with the other two medications I am taking a new birth control too. I started that about 2-3 months ago.

Anyway, having the support of everyone really does help. I am hopeful that I can get out of this rut and keep going. I know it'll be slow - but thank you again for your kindness.

BBEDEL,

Dealing with depression isn't easy. You know you want to make a change and that is a step in the right direction.

I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

I know that losing 50 pounds seems daunting, so don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated and quitting. Start with simple things. Set simple goals. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. if you're not exercising, don't start with an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've completed these goals, you do them again or you create new ones.

Setting simple goals will help you SLOWLY ease into a healthier set of habits.

What are you doing for exercise now ? Studies have shown that a regular exercise program can help decrease symptoms of depression. Don't let your weight stop you from exercising. Take a daily 30 minute walk. Check out the fitness section. Coach Nicole has a bunch of short 10-15 minute work outs that can be done at home.

If you know you want to make a change, you really don't have to do a lot to start.

You take baby steps literally and figuratively.

I had suffered for YEARS from depression. It's not at all easy.

Kris (post below) has so many valid points.

MY BIGGEST error was allowing a "Dr" which she IS by her degree (psych), but she has NO HEART!! I KEPT telling her "I am gaining weight and this depresses me MORE!" but, she REFUSED to change the meds. FINALLY at 100 lbs MORE I called the place and said: "I REFUSE To work with her!!" They had known I'd seen another one thru the day program. They approached him, he rarely saw patients outside of the day program but did a few. THANKFULLY he took me on. FINALLY, a med was found, because HE LISTENED. IT WAS that I was misdiagnosed. So yes, as Kris says to make sure you have the correct diagnosis. It's hard if many in your family don't know you're depressed, but I found out some cousins I hadn't talked to ARE ALSO!! As we talked, we found out (And my Dad who hadn't said anything OPENED UP!) that bipolar runs HEAVILY in our family. FINALLY!!!

I asked at the suggestion of someone I valued their opinion was put on a MAOI (not used hardly anymore, but nothing was working!)which the Dr (the new one that that horrible woman) and TA DA!!! In ONLY 3 days I started to feel better and in only 3 WEEKS I was back to my old normal! Kris stated if you're not in therapy it's so helpful. Being on the MAOI (Nardil) helped me, but I KNEW the med is not the answer unless it's a chemical imbalance. The blood work can help with that if it's done thoroughly (I psyche is more apt to know this).

WISHING YOU THE BEST!! It was a longggg haul for me, but I am finally so much better. They say for some as we get older we can "out grow" the symptoms and I've been one of these. UNLESS I use a med that causes me to GO UP UP UP AND AWAY!! Strangely MANY meds we use (for me it was allergy meds!) that can throw us up and a going, going,,, going. Again it's why having a VERY GOOD and caring psyche DOES help.

Hi - my heart goes out to you.

First of all, I had a look at your photo and you are by NO means ugly. You are quite attractive. Yes, SOME men think overweight women are 'ugly' but those men are very shallow, and I wouldn't be bothered with someone like that. Anyone who is worth knowing will be attracted by the person's personality, rather than their looks.

Your depression concerns me. You have tried a number of anti-depressants - who has been the prescriber? Your Family Doctor, or a Psychiatrist? I suggest that IF it is a your Family Doctor, that you ask for a referral to a Psychiatrist. They have a much better understanding of the medications, both on their own and in conjunction with others. Also, they will be able to give you an accurate diagnosis, because some meds are better than others for certain psych. conditions.

The other thing is that you don't mention having had any Therapy. If you don't see a Therapist, I strongly suggest that you ask for one. Often the combination of medication an qualified therapy can work more successfully than either on their own.

Given that you are quite young, have you been checked for other conditions which could contribute to your weight increase? I am thinking along the lines of PCOS or Hypothyroidism. If you haven't I strongly urge you to ask your Dr to check for these. Also, it would be helpful to ask for your Vitamin D level to be checked.

Below are a couple links that you may find helpful regarding weight increase:
www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dep
ression/expert-answers/antidepressants
-and-weight-gain/faq-20058127

www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dep
ression/in-depth/antidepressants/art-2
0049305

I suggest that you weigh all of your food for increased accuracy and enter everything into your Nutrition Tracker. This will give you the ability to tweak your nutritional intake based on your ranges, and based on fact rather than guess work. Ensure that you eat plenty of fruit/veges - especially dark leafy greens because they can help with Depression, as well as being low calorie. Also, a diet which gets a good amount of healthy fats is also beneficial - particularly from nuts and dark, oily fish such as sardines, salmon and tuna.

One more thing I will suggest, ask your Dr for a referral to a Registered Dietitian. When you go to your appointment take printouts from your Nutrition Tracker for him/her to peruse. They are generally a great help for people struggling to lose weight, including medication-induced weight-gain.

Going for walks each day - even 10-15 minutes - in the fresh air can help immensely too. The Vitamin D from the sun as well as taking in the sights, smells and sounds can be helpful for your emotional health as well as your physical health.

Good luck,
Kris




Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 8/31/2017 (23:23)

The truth is some anti-depressants slow down your metabolism and increase your appetite.

I've struggled with mine. I've tried different ones. Some didn't work. Some had bad side effects. Some caused horrible weight gain. It's trying to find one you can live with ---that ALSO works is difficult to do.

As much as it sucks to try new ones, you sometimes have to keep trying different ones and combinations to find the one that works. And every few years, you usually have to adjust it again.

However, it isn't impossible. Just hard.
As hard as it is, don't worry about what men may or may not think. You have to be happy with who you are now. What you weigh isn't the most important thing about you...if it was, people wouldn't talk on dates--they'd just weigh each other.

It'll be slower to lose weight but you can do it.

You may have to try some different things. Experiment with low-carb or strength training. You may have to adjust meds if they interfere too much. Track your food/calories every day.

Every day is a new day. Good or bad, you get a fresh start every morning.
I believe in you.

:)



Edited by: TIRZAHLOU at: 8/31/2017 (21:55)

I have been suffering from depression for the past 3 years and I am in a really bad bought right now. I take antidepressants, and over the course of 3 years from trying so many different ones, I've gained 50 pounds and am the fattest I've ever been. I am doing what I can to stay motivated, but it's so hard when I read things about how guys think fat girls are ugly, or just feeling like I'll never get back to even 50 pounds lighter. I feel like I try everything, and I just keep failing. I want to give up, but that hasn't ever gotten me anywhere. I am just so sad and I just can't.