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VHAYES04's Photo VHAYES04 Posts: 4,144
8/6/17 1:22 P

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Have you considered hiring a trainer? They could show you exercises to strengthen your back and work on problem areas.

Vickie


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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 546
7/30/17 12:32 P

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I read something in a fashion magazine a while back that said if you go up a size on either your pants or blouses, it will make you look slimmer. I did this recently with my blouses, I normally wear a medium petite, so I started wearing a large petite. It's more comfortable and I don't think anyone notices the difference in the size, not like anyone is checking the labels. I normally wear a size 8 (USA) in pants, and some of my pants fit perfectly, and some are actually loose and I need a belt, so the number on the sizing is not always accurate. These are nearly all pants from the same manufacturer, also, so maybe depending on the location of the factories they were crafted at, there could be even slight variations.



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7/29/17 9:14 P



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Many years ago when my children were young, a LOT of people thought I was pregnant. I went clothes shopping in a town with 7 shops for women. None of them went above a NZ size 16, and when I got to the last one a saleswoman in her (approx. 50's) asked me how many months pregnant I was, and said that they didn't have anything my size (only needed an 18 or 20.) My husband removed the kids at that stage because he knew what was coming from me. Then the stupid woman told me to go to the Preggy Factory to get my clothes. I let her have it again.

What a lot of people didn't realize is that maternity wear is often a bit different design because it isn't just the tummy that changes.

Even now, I would flatly refuse to buy maternity wear out of principle. My Jeans are high rise and have a tummy-slimming panel, and I also wear shapewear, whiich does NOT cause problems in the heat. I find them comfortable in all seasons.

I agree with ARCHIMEDES in that often a peron wears clothing of the wrong size for them, and if it is too small will make a person look 'fatter'

Kris

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7/29/17 2:40 P



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MISS_ROBOT,

I had a thought. Perhaps the reason you feel you have a belly is because you're wearing clothes that don't suit your figure.

Today, while I was out shopping, I saw three young college aged women. They weren't fat, but they wore clothing that made it look like they were fat. They happened to be wearing super tight low rise jeans and shortish belly baring shirts. every single one of them had a muffin top. their bellies were hanging a little bit over their waistbands.

This is kinda how it looked.



These young women weren't fat, but they all looked like they needed to lose weight because the pants they were wearing were just too tight and didn't fit right. People think they need to lose weight to get rid of a muffin top. You can get rid of a muffin top by wearing properly fitting pants.

And maybe that's something that could help you. Maybe you're wearing clothing that's not right for your figure. Wearing the wrong clothes can make a person look pregnant. Personally, I wouldn't wear maternity wear. I don't think you need to hide your belly. I just think maybe you need better fitting pants.


Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 7/30/2017 (14:39)
MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 546
7/29/17 12:16 P

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Hi Miss_Robot,

I have a belly, too. Last year, I had an abdominal surgery, and my belly still has not fully recovered. I look like I am 2-3 months pregnant sometimes, depending on how much water I am retaining. I actually had a salesperson--someone I had never met before-- at a department store ask me (before I had my surgery and looked probably 6 months pregnant) when my baby was due. Talk about awkward and embarrassing for both of us when I told her I wasn't pregnant. I like the idea Auna_Cycle posted about maternity wear. I would say try to be gentle with yourself and if you truly don't like it, try to do what you can to make the changes you want. If you were talking to a friend who had the same complaint, how would you encourage her?

For me, I notice my belly more after I have eaten foods with a little more salt/sodium than I anticipated (like if I've gone out to eat and forgotten to ask about the ingredients). I will then drink more water to try and release the retained water. This was something an athletic coach suggested to me when I mentioned to him that I struggle with water retention. Even when I was a lot thinner when I was younger, I always had a bit of a belly. It's never been completely flat.

Best wishes!

Maria


Edited by: MARIA11X at: 7/29/2017 (12:17)

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7/29/17 11:01 A

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Side note: James, your belly looks fine. In fact, I really wasn't noticing it. Too busy noticing Principle Skinner and Millhouse.
D'oh!

AUNA_VISTA's Photo AUNA_VISTA Posts: 3,588
7/27/17 12:39 P

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I have a lot of sympathy for how you don't like how your body looks. Just remember that it is just the stage you are now in, you'll get thinner if you keep working at it. And I have to totally disagree about buying the shapewear right now. It's too hot for that! Wait until fall, at least. Shapewear is really great at smoothing things out and even helps with posture, but it doesn't breathe well. You need clothes that are loose and flowy to help you cool off in the summer. Since your weight is primarily in the stomach area, you would be the perfect fit for maternity wear. I know it sounds weird, but they make a lot of pretty clothes right now! And when you've slimmed up, you can donate that maternity wear to a charity and feel good about sharing. Just trust me, go to a maternity store, try on some garments, and you won't be disappointed! It's better than regular clothes, because your stomach doesn't bulge out when the arms fit, or vice versa, have too baggy arms/shoulders when the stomach is fitting right. The maternity clothes just fit!


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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 11,492
7/24/17 10:50 P

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I agree with WHITE-1602. Don't think all or none, total success or total failure.

I'm a low carb guy. I rank foods by what fraction, or percentage of their weight is carbs. Are there things just don't eat? Well not really, but the higher it's xsrb percentage, the less of it I eat.

I like the taste of pineapple, and every now and then I have a small slice. Is that day s failure because pineapple is 11.7% carbs and my "cutoff" is 6%? Hardly. I just eat very little pineapple.

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WHITE-GREEN's Photo WHITE-GREEN Posts: 2,851
7/23/17 3:18 P

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It may help to think in terms of grey not black-or-white... I think that you may well be the only one who feels that 'all you could see was my belly'. My guess is that most people will look at your face and pay attention to your words and personality - and maybe notice that you don't look like a model, too, but that's okay, it's just not so that all that matters is your shape.

If you hate yourself it will not help you to stay thin or make changes. In fact self-hatred is one reason why people can get caught in a cycle of dieting and gaining weight.
Love yourself enough to make changes if you think you'll feel better. But don't hate yourself. In particular, don't hate yourself over how you look. If you are going to hate something about yourself find something that is more significant to hate! emoticon I mean, hatred in itself is a kind of poison. You should not hate unless you absolutely have to!

Edited by: WHITE-GREEN at: 7/23/2017 (15:19)

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CENTERED-3's Photo CENTERED-3 Posts: 19
7/23/17 3:15 P

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Eat very clean. It may help.

Edited by: CENTERED-3 at: 7/23/2017 (15:16)

-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 11,492
7/23/17 12:45 A

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MISS_ROBOT,
Should you change your way of eating (dare I say "go on a diet"?), then I do have a few words of advice.

First, focus on nutrition, getting what your body needs. You may need to do some studying, but the key areas are going to be these:
- carbohydrates
- fat
- protein
- minerals
- vitamins

Then, if you start to thing about cutting calories, focus on cutting sugar, or things with added sugar that really don't need it. For example ribs with a sweet barbeque sauce. Why not a dry rub or a less sweet sauce.

As you start to loose body fat, you can't target where it comes off of first. You may want your stomach first, at that may be, or it may be your thighs or elsewhere. It just comes off in the reverse order of being added.

James


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7/22/17 3:08 P



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MISS_ROBOT,

As you get older, you'll learn to be more appreciative of your body. I thought the same way you did at your age. When I was a teen, all I could think about was being able to wear a size 5-7. That was the gold standard when I was in high school. At the time, I wore a size 13. Looking back at my photos, I may have been chubby, but I was not obese. However, like all the girls my age, I starved myself to be thin. because all the popular girls were thin. We didn't care about ABs back then. All we cared about was being able to squeeze into impossibly tight jeans.

The point ? I beat myself up. I dieted because I didn't think I looked good enough when in fact, I looked fine. Today I really am much more comfortable in my own skin, sagging skin and all. Yes, I could have a tummy tuck if I wanted. But I don't want one. The sagging skin is my proof of how much weight I lost.

Maybe I don't have impossibly flat ABs like Keira Knightley. But like I said, I'm in better shape now than when I did starve myself down to a size 5-7. I think I look a lot better too.

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7/22/17 2:12 P

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Thanks, everyone! Reading these messages was very uplifting.

I think I will have to get some shapewear, although it's very hot for that right now. At the moment I'm just wearing loose fitting shirts.

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7/22/17 2:08 A

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This is the only body pic I've ever posted, here it is:



Still fat in the upper body to come off. A clear bump in my navel area. Are those lean chicken legs, or are they the right size and the upper body is too big? I think the latter.

I do have a variety of cartoon underwear. It's my personal, and private rebellion.

Virtually everyone has body issues, myself included.

Edited by: -JAMES- at: 7/22/2017 (02:09)
James


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7/20/17 5:54 P

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I've been in menopause for close to 10 years now. Had no problems of any kind before then. Been on HRT for 5 years. It cut the hot flashes from 5 or 6 an hour to less than 20 a day. Doctor added thyroid meds about a year ago and said I would feel better in a few days. Two months later I did see a slight improvement.
My BMI is borderline between normal and overweight. I've always eaten reasonably healthy, no eating out. Everything is homemade and most of it is home grown. Fruits, vegetables, greek yogurt, red meat and some hard cheeses. I've cut back on starchy foods and have never had a big sweet tooth. Grew up on a cattle ranch so never learned how to make sea food edible. I am more physically fit than other women my age. Climbed a 12,500 foot mountain a couple of years ago complete with crampons and ice axe.. For those of you who have mild symptoms that go away, count your selves lucky. For me its' a permanent condition. On a brighter note that 5 pounds I picked up this winter makes a nice arm rest for my elbows when sitting in an armless chair.

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7/20/17 3:20 P



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NJMSTAR,

I'm post menopausal. a healthy diet and some regular exercise really does help reduce the menopause symptoms. I still occasionally get the "power surges" at night, but that's about it. I feel the reason I haven't suffered as much as many women my age is because I've been doing my best to eat right, watch my portions and get some regular exercise.

Here's one piece of advice that will help you too. Do your best to eat 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies each and every day. If that seems like too much, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. keep eating 2-3 servings each until for 2-3 weeks. then try increasing the amount you eat to 3-4 servings each day. You slowly increase the amount you eat until you feel comfortable eating 6-9 servings each and every day.

As you increase the amount of fruit and veggies you eat, you decrease the amount of refined sugar. If you're eating a lot of treats like cookies, brownies, muffins, etc... all that sugar just makes the menopause symptoms worse. Eat a clean diet and you will feel so much better inside and out.


LININPARADISE7's Photo LININPARADISE7 Posts: 1,001
7/20/17 3:09 P

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njm, you will get better when it's finished, really!

Live, Laugh, Love!!


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7/20/17 2:13 P

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-I've spent a fortune over the last 5 years tying to find comfortable shapeware. It does not exist. Then when you add hot summer temperatures with menopausal hot flashes it all adds up to a miserable existence. It appears the hot flashes are a permanent condition and I am just tired of always being is some state of discomfort. Hot, tired , hungry, fat. Some part of me is always uncomfortable. Apololgies for the rant.

LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 27,037
7/20/17 11:51 A

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"it's like all the work of the past few weeks was for nothing."

Weeks?
You are still in the beginning stage.
You have months and years to go, and to make progress.

That said, some people suffer from body dysmorphic disorder; perhaps you are one.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
~ 7 Years in T
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7/20/17 9:31 A



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BTW, regarding the point that a lot of women wear spanx, here's proof.

Jennifer Lopez (noted as being one of the most beautiful women in the world) wears spanx. This is just one example. Many women DO wear foundation garments for shape.



Here's one more example, Joan from Mad Men. This is what a girdle can do for a woman's figure. And quite honestly, that how our grandmothers and mothers achieved those figures. Christina Hendricks was awesome as Joan.



It took me many years to learn to appreciate my body. Years of regular exercise gave me great ABs. BUT because I lost a lot of weight, I have sagging skin. in fact, parts of me look like a Shar Pei puppy ! No joke. truth. I have a lot of sagging skin.

But I don't let it get me down. How come ? I can do over 100+ military style pushups. I've run dozens of 5ks. I've done obstacle courses. I've climbed rock walls. the sagging skin didn't stop me.

Like I said, I'm not perfect. I never will be and I am okay with that. I've stopped trying to be perfect. It's too much stress.



Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 7/20/2017 (09:38)
LININPARADISE7's Photo LININPARADISE7 Posts: 1,001
7/20/17 7:13 A

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I use it (hate the look) as motivation. I have a picture of how I did look (just a few years ago, not like 20) in the kitchen by the cupboards. I look at it when I'm tempted to eat something I shouldn't. You can love yourself and not be pleased with what you see on the outside...again, try to use it as motivation to look better. Some of us feel best when we look our best.

Live, Laugh, Love!!


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7/20/17 6:26 A



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MISS_ROBOT,

I agree with the others who've replied. We are our own worst critics. Flaws we see in ourselves, no one else sees.

Women are not built like men. We're not supposed to have perfectly flat ABs. We're supposed to have a rounded stomach. We're supposed to carry more body fat then men. And yet, the fashion industry seems to think that ALL women should have the body of an adolescent boy with boobs !!

98% of the women of the world, do NOT look like this. But the fashion industry says we should.



Look at this woman, she's an instagram fitness sensation. She has a body many Sparkers would envy. Look at her belly, wow... she has one !! And so do all the rest of us.



Which is why you have to stop beating yourself up because you don't look like you should be on the cover of Oxygen. Those figures represent only 2-5% of the women of the world.

Instead of berating yourself for not looking like Keira Knightly, be proud of what you can do with your body since losing the weight. Because what your body can do is way more important than how it looks.

I will never be perfect and I'm okay with that.




Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 7/20/2017 (06:27)
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (260,200)
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7/20/17 6:06 A



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It is possible that the problem isn't actually with you physically, but rather how you see yourself. BUT, I DO get what you are saying. I used to think that I had a very big belly ..... looking back at photos from those times, I was actually very slim.

Even tho' I have lost a lot of weight, my abdominal area is still quite big. What I do is I wear tummy-control knickers when I go out. I also have tummy control spencer that I wear in conjunction with them. It helps to drop a dress size and give the impression of being a bit slimmer than reality.

I know it won't help you for tomorrow, but the exercises that help to reduce that area are core exercises. Mat Pilates is particularly good for this. I did a class once a week for an hour, and most other days did 15 minutes at home, and lost a dress size even tho' I didn't lose any weight. Apart from working the muscles in that area, it also helps with breathing technique and posture, and that alone can help you to look slimmer.

The other thing to consider is colour. Good use of colour and style can make a huge difference, too.

Good luck with finding what works best for you, but the main thing is to NOT beat yourself up. If you really care to look around and honestly appraise what you see, including yourself, you will find that heaps of other women (and men) are in exactly the same position or worse, but they may have more confidence in themselves that you don't notice it.

Kris

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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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TORIATE's Photo TORIATE Posts: 36
7/19/17 10:47 P

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Ugh! That's a terrible feeling!

First off, many clothing stores design their clothes to essentially fit ONE body type. Not that long ago, people took nearly every item they bought to a seamstress who fit the item directly to their own measurements. Instead, people now try to fit themselves into the clothes. How messed up is that? It's your BODY for crying out loud! The time has come where we all start fighting this...but that's for another time....

Since you are in the process of losing weight, your body is probably shifting weight around quite a bit. If you can, I suggest going with items that are a bit stretchy or wrap dresses. Those are things you can wear for a few different sizes.

I second shapewear! Corsets are awesome. You will be able to breathe. Don't let anyone tell you anything different. More women wear them than you think. The way dresses are made these days, there is no lining or boning. For most women, even ones who would be labeled "skinny" there needs to be some kind of lining for the dress to lay nicely whether it's a slip or Spanx.

You are YOU. You have one body. One mind. One heart. Not sure where you are spiritually, but all I'll say is all of those parts of you are aching to be loved - by you! Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Just be the absolute best you can be.

Loves!

"Have the will to be well, to be happy, and to live in joy." - Ernest Holmes


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7/19/17 9:42 P

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First, I think many women suffer from this. It sucks.

Start with looking for things to help you reduce bloating.

Second, invest in some really nice comfy shapeware. Shapeware flattens the belly and makes you feel good about yourself.

HookedUp Shapewear connects with the bra. It flattens the belly. This will give you a way to feel good about yourself now. You've lost weight. This will let you enjoy it. Just make sure to get a brand that doesn't roll down. https://www.wearcommando.com/products/control-short 2nd version.

If you can afford it, also consider a personal shopper to help you find clothes to fit your new body. Sometimes a pro can help you to find way to make the most of what does work on you.

:)



Edited by: TIRZAHLOU at: 7/19/2017 (21:45)
MISS_ROBOT's Photo MISS_ROBOT SparkPoints: (704)
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7/19/17 9:23 P

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I'm thin everywhere except for my big round belly that makes me look 3 months pregnant, and my pudgy love handles. Losing weight hasn't helped. I have back problems and have been exercising and trying to improve my posture, which I think will help my bloated look too, but it's so discouraging. I was just trying on clothes for an important work event tomorrow and everything looked horrible, it seemed like all you could see was my belly. I still don't know what I'm going to wear and I feel like crying. Just keep looking in the mirror and hating myself, it's like all the work of the past few weeks was for nothing.

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