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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (330,774)
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8/8/19 5:27 A



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I'm sorry to hear that you have been going through this, and am really pleased that you are doing the rehab that is needed.

As far as finding time or having the energy, I would write a list of all that you do at home. Then go through it. Have columns - you, your husband, and each of the children. What doesn't need doing as often as it is - don't do it. Give your children chores.

I don't know how old your children are, being even 2-3yr olds are able to help a bit. My under 2yr old grandson helps his Mum empty the dishwasher - she sits on the floor and he gets them out and take them to her, then they sway - she gives some to him and HE puts them where they have to go! He can also set the table. I've seen a video of him doing it and the absolute pride and pleasure on his face is adorable.

My daughter and son were able to make there own beds before they turned 5. I just did the linen change because at that age it was a bit much to ask. As 5-6 yr olds they helped with the dishes. They had a stool to stand on. They could help prepare meals - doing the very basics. As a 9-10 yr old, my children were able to cook full meals - Mum to me and my siblings how to cook at that age too, including full roast meals.

They can wipe a bath/shower down after they have used it. It saves a lot of 'bathroom cleaning' because fine dust sticks to damp more than to dry. I used to do the laundry and fold it, and put it into colour coded baskets. Each person had their own colour. They used to put their own laundry away. The older ones can vacuum, even if it is just their own bedrooms. Depending how old the youngest one is, he/she might be able to do it of sorts, too.

I see you have done bulk cooking where you can and that's great. Have you got in single serve or family meal size containers that you can freeze them in. I do this all the time. I end up cooking veges mostly once every 4 days and I often bulk cook 10 or more protein portions - Post a bad car accident/head injury, I have fatigue issues, but prior to that, I worked often 6 days per week as well as volunteer on my day off. Frozen meals are a real Godsend at those times. I had a period of time where I didn't need to cook anything at all for a month. It was all in the freezer.

Are you able to cut back at work for a little while - even in the short-term?

Does your husband help out? If he doesn't help much, then perhaps he could do a little more.

And remember - It is o.k. to sit back and do nothing sometimes. There is NO housework that HAS to be done that can't be done when you are up to it.

Let us know how you get on.

Hugs,
Kris

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8/7/19 5:20 P



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Hello Chrissy,

Wow it certainly sounds like you do have an abundance of responsibilities. It sort of made me tired thinking of doing all you do. Good for you for having a winning attitude and looking for resources/ideas to help.

Since you are doing it anyway, take your breathes mindfully. Think about your breath in, going all the way to your abdomen, as white healing light filling you up to your shoulders with energy. Exhale from the abdomen up to your shoulders visualizing blue smoke exiting along with your fatigue and releasing all that does not serve you. There is power in breathing deeply and consciously.

Best of success to you.


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LIVEANDLAUGH's Photo LIVEANDLAUGH Posts: 2,874
8/7/19 12:30 P

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Great ideas from @NIERIN.

I'm not sure what dinner looks like at your house, but when my family was in a constant state of motion I kept dinners simple - taking my mother's advice that a balanced meal consisted of a meat, starch, and vegetable.

Here are two examples of what I'd cook in a pinch:
baked pork chops, Bush's Original Baked Beans, and salad
roasted/baked chicken, corn on the cob, and salad
Both of these take less than 10 minutes of active "hands on" participation and in them the food groups have been satisfied. Notice too the beans playing both the drums and trumpet providing an additional source of protein and fiber.

The key to quick and easy cooking (imho) is letting your oven do the work for all meats including fish fillets. Of course you can add potatoes or sweet potatoes to the oven too...starches done!

Frozen vegetables actually take less time to prepare than making a "good" salad. Throw'em in a pot, add water, come back in five...done. Even better on the clean-up end are those in microwaveable packages.

The two examples I provided are those my family liked best, but I served plain old vegetables five or six nights out of seven. Always easy, most often frozen - while varying easy to prepare starches.




Edited by: LIVEANDLAUGH at: 8/7/2019 (12:42)
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SHOAPIE's Photo SHOAPIE Posts: 32,666
8/7/19 12:11 P

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On non-therapy days are you still doing an hour? Perhaps you need to cut back some. Have a sit down talk with your family. I’d bet they are unaware because you haven’t talk this out. They should be able to help out more. But until they know they probably won’t. emoticon



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NIRERIN Posts: 14,706
8/6/19 9:25 P

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Have you followed up with your doctor and medical team and mentioned that this is what is going on? This seems like step one if you have not already. Besides being able to make adjustments they may also be aware of resources that you could use or qualify for. It's worth reaching out and asking.

Which is step two. Reach out to your network of people. Do you have friends or known parents that can cover some of the kids? Do you have friends who can help you cook or could prepare some meals for you? Could you invite over one friend on Saturday to bulk cook two meals and another on Sunday? That would be four meals in one weekend and you would get to spend time as well. Any friends or family or churchpeople or the parents of your children's friends, ask. Remember, you aren't asking them to take over your life, you're asking for a little bit of time one day. If you have enough of these people, you might get around two people able to help you out a week. A few hours every few weeks for them, a big help for you each week.

The other option is to buy yourself some time. It will cost you more, but there are places that will make your food for you. It's not cheap, but you might need to work some of those in. A middle option would be to buy what you need as ready to go as possible. Heads of lettuce are cheaper than bags of salad, but bags of salad are just add dressing and maybe an extra vegetable. Use whatever cheats you can.

-google first. ask questions later.

CHRISSY182's Photo CHRISSY182 Posts: 103
8/6/19 3:19 P

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My husband has been helping on the weekends. It is hard during the week, there are times he doesn't get home from work before 7-8pm. That seems to be the norm lately. I have been trying to get the kids to help, but school just went back and they don't get home til close to 5 and then they have sports and homework. So I am trying to do what I can.



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LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 31,213
8/6/19 3:07 P

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" Anyone have any ideas hw to combat this. "
Yep... you husband should take half that workload from you!

You are cardiac rehab for pete's sake.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
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LIVEANDLAUGH's Photo LIVEANDLAUGH Posts: 2,874
8/6/19 2:17 P

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@CHRISSY182,
I am "over the moon" you are taking care of yourself! YOU must be the priority!
Indeed you are doing a lot in an effort to fulfill all of your responsibilities, but there's no reason to be "superwoman." Since cooking is your primary concern, consider one-pot meals that can be made in a crock pot or the oven. Your idea of cooking Sunday to help with the week is terrific, and with that you may want to try doubling the recipe for soups, stews and chili to freeze and use at a later date.
Also, ask for help! I don't mean to be hurtful, but your husband should be pitching in to carry some of the load. Perhaps you can ask him to prepare meals 2 to 3 times a week, or assist with the prep such as skinning chicken, peeling potatoes or making a salad. Realizing he may not feel comfortable cooking, think of other ways he can lend a hand so you are less stressed and overwhelmed (e.g. kid's homework, bath time, laundry, dishes etc.).
***Being married for 35 years now I can tell you husbands respond best to positive reinforcement. To that end, when you ask for help the formula for success is: praise, "lightly" suggest improvement, and praise some more :)***
I'm sending you good thoughts, well wishes, and even better - blessings from above!
When you have a few moments, post again so we know how you're doing :)


Edited by: LIVEANDLAUGH at: 8/6/2019 (14:18)
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NEED2MOVE2's Photo NEED2MOVE2 Posts: 1,672
8/6/19 1:31 P

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CHRISSY182's Photo CHRISSY182 Posts: 103
8/6/19 10:56 A

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I am in cardiac therapy after having stent surgery and a small heart attack. I go 3 times a week. It is straight up 1 hour a day cardio. It has been awesome. I am now supposed to workout an additional 3 times a week at home. My problem is, I have 3 kids, a husband, need to prepare heart healthy meals and work full time. I have been working out the 6 times that I am supposed to, but I am exhausted. I mean to the point that I am falling asleep at my desk. Preparing and cooking meals, working out 6 times a week, plus dealing with the kids and work has made me so anxious and tired. Anyone have any ideas how to combat this. I really don't know how people do it all. I was trying to prepare a few meals on Sundays to help with the week, but this past Sunday, I couldn't do it. I was too tired. Any suggestions are appreciated.



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