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WHITE-GREEN's Photo WHITE-GREEN Posts: 3,109
7/9/18 12:31 P

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By no means am I at goal weight. But I've been asking the same kind of questions you ask and I hear the 'The Beck Diet Solution' and other work of dr. Judith Beck is the best way to really change your thinking. It focuses on exactly the day-to-day choices that you have to make in the moment.
There is a good team for the Beck Diet Solution here at Sparkpeople.



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CHESAPEAKE60's Photo CHESAPEAKE60 SparkPoints: (7,826)
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7/7/18 7:04 A

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As others have said, the biggest is not to “diet”. Switching to healthy eating mindset. Yes, I counted and tracked calories. Still do in my head. But as I did that I made sure the foods I was eating were food I really enjoyed and would want to eat for a lifetime.

The second biggie was getting off artificial sweeteners. I now truly believe that they condition your taste buds/body and mind to crave sweets. And make naturally sweet foods seem not sweet in contrast. Now I drink my coffee with splash of milk only. And I don’t do pop at all. If I need a fizzy drink I will have La Croix grapefruit or lime - no sugar, no sweeteners, no sodium. Fruits, nuts, etc. now taste amazingly sweet and rich.



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LOTUS737's Photo LOTUS737 Posts: 5,346
7/4/18 11:51 A

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I haven’t reached my ultimate goals, far from it. But this is the longest I’ve stuck with it. This time I decided to focus on nutrition first. I started getting portions back into control and making sure I was hitting my macros. I also had a dietitian review a month’s worth of food logs to see where I could improve and incorporated her advice. I do incorporate foods I like and treats- I often have two squares of my favorite chocolate after dinner and it satisfies me because I don’t have that mentality that it’s off limits or bad and I can’t eat it again. I’m starting to view foods in terms of the nutritional payoff they offer, which makes it a lot easier to avoid crappy doughnuts or junk food at work.

I strength train twice a week. But once I had my food more under control, I started walking more, doing yoga, dancing, etc. I’m not on top of my fitness game yet (cautious after a severe back spasm) but my endurance is increasing and I’m feeling much stronger overall.

For me what has helped is not trying to attack it all at once. I also keep a spreadsheet where I log my intake and deficits (i had a metabolic test done to get a better picture of my bmr). I do this because scale fluctuations stress me out otherwise. I like being able to see that I created a 32 lb deficit with my intake even though the scale is only showing 26. I also plan for and include zero deficit days. I don’t just eat whatever I want, but if we are going out for a celebration or taking guests out, I track and just plan not to have a deficit. Keeps me sane instead of stressing about it.

I am not good about tracking measurements but my lab results are phenomenal and I’m fitting into smaller clothes. I also really like planning rewards for myself like a facial, pedicure, new workout shoes, etc.

It is a struggle and sometimes we plateau (I was stuck in the same 3 lb range for 2 months) but you have to find what keeps you motivated.

Good luck!

Healthy choices and actions have positive impacts, even if the scale doesn't move!


Next goal: -38-40 by 10/18


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REBCCA's Photo REBCCA SparkPoints: (441,084)
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6/27/18 7:12 P



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Making the changes to create a lifestyle is key to long term success. It takes determination for sure but is worth the effort to be mindful of every choice along the journey to ingrain healthy habits.
Mostly I let the way my clothes fit be my gauge, making certain to take a day at least every other week to wear my skinny jeans.
If I do feel myself "going off the rails" I take a re-boot day where I fast or eat only a few servings of fruit and rice as prescribed in the Duke University Rice Diet. The re-boot day tends to reset my resolve as I find it brings back needed mindful savoring of food as medicine/fuel as I believe it is.


"'Enough' is a feast. Buddhist proverb


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MERRYJO1 Posts: 647
6/26/18 3:20 P

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I think remembering this is a lifestyle....forever!Healthy choices 95% of the time! Not that I have done this....I am still a work in progress.

Love the Lord your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.


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URBANREDNEK Posts: 4,391
6/26/18 11:44 A

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From what you have put here, it seems to me that you are still looking for the perfect temporary calorie-restricted diet that will let you hit a magic number on the scale / fit of your clothing. Your "goal" (which is shared by almost everyone on this site) is a specific response from your body --- which, sadly, is not something that you have specific, direct control over. I have come to believe that the frustration with NOT getting the "expected" response in the "expected" amount of time is the largest driver in the whole "fall off the wagon" and then "restart" yo-yo phenomenon.

What you DO have specific, direct control over is your own actions and choices (and your body will react how and when or if it does).

For me - I have an aversion to the whole "SMART goals" and "must always do / be BETTER" nonsense, and really had no issue with what the number on the scale was or how my clothes fitted. My issue was diagnosed vitamin / mineral deficiencies coupled with autoimmune disease, along with some physical challenges left after surgery and chemo. I did and do use the scale to keep track of how my body is reacting to things (especially changes in meds), but my focus has always been learning how to eat healthfully to support a healthier body (which does include having that body at a healthy weight) --- and making sure that my healthier food choices are more enjoyable (and therefore, in MY mind, easier) than not-so-healthy food choices would be.

So - I started out by determining the calorie range needed for me to maintain at a healthy BMI, based on my "usual" activity level (I used the calculator here: www.health-calc.com/diet/energy-expenditur
e-advanced
and I took the daily number less 200 calories as the bottom of the "range" and the daily number plus 150 calories as the top). I never have dropped below that range (1850-2200 calories), and let myself naturally get down to it as I learned more and started developing new favourite foods and routines.

I did pretty much as Nirerin suggested, and started making notes on my favourite foods, and on what foods I found more or less satisfying and enjoyable. I found a few not-so-healthy favourites which I was not willing to give up, so I learned to create a base plan that fulfilled all of my nutritional needs and left me enough room to add in my not-so-healthy favourites with enough regularity to keep me happy. Interestingly, I have found over the years that I enjoy my healthy choices more and more, and find a lot of my not-so-healthy former favourites to be not-so-enjoyable anymore...

What I would suggest to you is that you figure out your healthy maintenance range, and start focusing on learning how to eat healthfully and enjoyably within that range. Pay attention to having a satisfying base plan, with enough room to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine and a fancy dessert sometimes --- and then make sure that you totally focus on enjoying those things mindfully! If they are just bad habits, or misapplied "stress relief", then you need to spend some time focusing on replacing the habit with healthier coping mechanisms --- so that when you DO have them, you can fully savour and appreciate them.

As Nirerin suggested, look back at all of the "diets" that you have tried, and incorporate your favourite foods and recipes from them. Make a point of having a lot of healthy and easy favourites around for the days when you are more busy - and of experimenting and playing around with new options when you have time.

The point is - make the healthfulness and pleasure in your diet your new "goal", with the measure of "success" being how easy it is to stick with it. The more you enjoy it, the more likely you are to have it become your New Normal.

Good luck - and have fun!

Sir Terry Pratchett:

"Science is not about building a body of known 'facts'. It is a method for asking awkward questions and subjecting them to a reality-check, thus avoiding the human tendency to believe whatever makes us feel good."


Starting weight: 258 lbs
Maintenance Range: 147-155 lbs


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NIRERIN Posts: 14,446
6/25/18 11:24 P

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Get a third party, one without a pony in this race, to give you an objective opinion of where you are. You are always going to be harder on yourself than anyone else and your opinion comes with a lot of baggage at this point. You have spent a lot of time trying to shove a square peg in a round hole and you can devote more time and energy into shoving that square peg in the round hole or you can take a step back and contemplate round objects while you regroup and come at this from another angle.

In the short term you want to drop weight as a measurement of what you are doing. If your plan is to build muscle you will likely need to drop your pants size as a measurement because you might go up a few inches from where you are now before you get steady enough to drop an inch or two from where you are now. So you need to find some sort of other goals that you can track. When you talk about longevity, people have lots of little goals that wrap up into one goal, kind of like a thick rope is made up of a lot of individual strands. That is what keeps you going. It's not just about weight or about pants, it's about being able to climb x number of flights of stairs without being winded, it's about being able to minimize medication use, it's about having more energy, it's about being able to complete a certain task more easily, it's about clearer skin, it's about a happier digestive tract, it's about what you can do and building up from there. Someone who has 200 lbs to lose has a lot to gain by losing because that kind of extra weight has a significant impact on one's daily life. 20 lbs just does not create the same sort of issues where losing weight really betters your life enough for it to create any sense of urgency. Losing twenty pounds when you are at a healthy weight is like investing $20 at your local bank in the basic free checking account. Sure you are getting interest on that money, but you are talking pennies a quarter. Some interest is certain better than no interest, but you aren't going to be retiring early off keeping your money there. Losing a little bit of weight is like getting those pennies of interest a quarter. It's good and all, but it's making slightly more interest than keeping your money in a piggy bank on your shelf. You aren't going to be rushing to put all your money in that savings account because the return on it, while better than the piggy bank option, isn't as great as other things out there. It just doesn't make sense to go all in for such a small end result.

Diet simply means what one eats. The more you enjoy what you eat, the easier it is to keep eating it. There is a point when you are learning about anything that you utilize other resources, but then you adapt them to what works for you. Which means if Whole30 didn't work long term, take your favorite Whole30 recipes and keep working them in, and add some South Beach, some tweaked family recipes, that one great dish your coworker likes to bring to potlucks and so forth, whatever you like. Cherry pick what you like the most and learn one or two things from each source, but build your own what works for me instead of relying on the B blood type food list. If you like wine, you have to learn how to work it in. That might mean more workouts, that might mean fewer other treats in favor of wine. There isn't a universal combination that works for everyone, everyone has to figure out what they want the most and then they have to fill in everything around that. It's like packing a suitcase for vacation. You might need a swimsuit for somewhere tropical or a snowsuit for skiiing. Everyone has different sized suitcases, with different destinations and different dividers and pockets. Depending on where you are going, what you like and what you plan to do there, the suitcase will be filled very differently. So pick what you like the most that fits your destination and start filling the rest of the suitcase to meet your other needs. If wine is a priority, make it a priority, but cut back elsewhere. If confronted with a donut, ask yourself if you want the donut now or wine later. You can have either, but you have to pick the one that you want the most. If you still want the wine later you have to remind yourself that you chose the donut and remember for the next time that you'd really prefer the wine because the donut did not cut it. Each choice we make isn't in a vacuum, each choice is one small part of our diet. You can make just about anything work, you just can't make everything work.

-google first. ask questions later.

LE_SIGH's Photo LE_SIGH Posts: 870
6/25/18 9:48 P

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Thanks for responding nirerin. Sadly I do have enough body fat to make that goal reasonable. I know what my body looks like when it's at a good weight, and this isn't it. I'm comfortable with a higher number if it's obvious that my clothes fit - I've always been a pretty muscular person. But that's not the issue right now, nor was it when I first set out to lose fat. It may seem like I'm stuck on a particular number from the original post but that really isn't it... my main point is that I've known for a long while that I had a certain goal and wasn't able to meet it.

What I'm really asking about is how successful people found the mental "sticktuitiveness" to keep going with healthy eating and to keep maintaining. To reformat a diet into a lifestyle. To stop derailing your positive work by letting temptation get the best of you in the moment.

Hopefully that helps clarify...



NIRERIN Posts: 14,446
6/25/18 6:19 P

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Get your bodyfat tested to see if your 20 lb goal is actually feasibile. One reason you may be struggling is that you do not have an excess 20 lbs of fat to lose. Also, you are already very likely to be at a healthy weight for your height. Realistic weight loss is going o be 1/4 to 1/2 lb per week, which means it may take six weeks for one pound of loss to show up above and beyond your normal daily fluctuations. Again, that is assuming you ave the excess body fat to lose in the first place. Finally, at a healthy weight you may need to gain weight if you would like to drop inches. Lower weight does not alway equal a smaller pants size, especially if you are focused on strength training and building muscle. You may need to make a choice between random low number on the scale or two inches down in your waist and hips.

I will also add that you do not need a mantra, you need to find a sustainable solution that is not too restrictive for you and that you can easily maintain. Again, assuming you have enough excess weight for your initial goal to be practical.

-google first. ask questions later.

LE_SIGH's Photo LE_SIGH Posts: 870
6/25/18 1:45 P

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For those of you who have had a few false starts and then eventually reached your goal weight, what was the final straw or the key that kept you on track?

I've been on this site for a long time and my goal weight has been pretty much the same since day 1. I've never hit it. I used to be within 8-10 lbs of it, and now it's more like 15-18 lbs. I'm moving in the wrong direction.

Generally speaking I eat healthy foods. I exercise a lot. But I eat too much, and I definitely drink too much wine.

I can be on a good path for a while, but then I get resentful or complacent. Or both.

Last year I tried Whole30 and had great success... I was 5lbs from goal and feeling good after round 1. At some point i decided things were going well enough and a little treat here and there wouldn't be a problem. From there it was a very slippery slope, and subsequent attempts to do Whole30 have not resulted in any sort of weight loss at all, which was very frustrating...

I know eating well shouldn't be all or nothing/ restrictive, but I do find that one glass of wine leads to a few glasses + dessert. So it's this constant cycle of deprivation --> little treat --> big slip --> totally off track. Lather, rinse, repeat. And of course when I feel myself going off the rails I avoid the scale.

This weight gain is enough that my clothes are really not fitting and I'm starting to hate the way my body looks.

SO I'm in need of a mantra. Something that will keep me committed to my goals, and something that will help me balance healthy limitations.

My brain knows what I need to do. Make small changes. Track my food. Weigh myself with some regularity. Incorporate treats occasionally to keep from feeling deprived. Recruit the support of my family. Reward myself for hitting goals. You'd think that if I know all that already I'd be at my goal weight, but it's the day-to-day won't power or the decision in the moment that seems to throw me off. Or maybe it's something else. Ugh.

Thoughts?

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