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NIRERIN Posts: 14,347
8/8/17 6:20 A

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This is going to be short and blunt, so I apologise for not having the time to write a more detailed response. I think you can lose 60 plus kilos and it will be the best thing that you have done. A manipulative and toxic partner adding more pressure to what you have already loaded onto yourself is too much for anyone to bear. So ditch the person promising conditional love because they will always find something new to keep you down and around their finger with.

You do not lack strength of character what you lack is enough excess fat to see fast losses. What that means is that 80% of what you are doing without trying (before the pills and the sugar and the clean eating and the hiit) is already just what you need to be doing. So there is not anything majorly wrong with your diet to begin with. Which means losing about a kilo a week, which means it taking six plus weeks for you to see the results of anything sustainable that you can do, at least with regards to fat loss. Not a lot of excess at like you have means it comes off slowly.

Edited by: NIRERIN at: 8/8/2017 (06:24)
-google first. ask questions later.

LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 26,977
8/7/17 6:00 P

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"How do you keep motivated even when youre convinced that you're not going to do it "

You can't.
You become what your believe... and you believe it is not going to happen.
So it won't.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
~ 7 Years in T
COONSY's Photo COONSY Posts: 1,158
8/7/17 3:07 P

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Okay, a few things.

First, when it comes to YOUR health and YOUR weight, that is up to you. If you have the desire to do it, you will, but doing it for someone else is never, ever going to work (not long term anyways). Think about it - you make time for the things you feel are important (meals out with your BF, getting to work, watching your favorite shows, whatever takes priorities in your life). For all of us, it's not a matter of our character, it's a matter of our priorities. If getting fit is a priority, you'll make it happen - if it's not, it won't happen. Simple as that, but that's straight talk that a lot of us don't like to hear (myself included sometimes!).

Secondly - if you're dating someone who is so focused on YOUR appearance that he won't introduce you to his friends - I'm sorry, but it's time to let him go and move on. It's one thing to encourage you to be fit and help you make healthy choices - it's another to berate you, tell you your character is lacking, and then turn around and drag you out to restaurants and trips and eat all the yummy (and fattening) things in front of you. That's a really big red flag of someone who is so wrapped up in themselves that they don't care about you! Time to move on and get that negativity out of your life!

Thirdly, HIIT, cross-fit, etc are all GREAT workouts that do an awesome job of combining ST with cardio. It's a fact that with more muscle you will burn more calories every single hour of every single day. Pure cardio doesn't do much for building muscle (some, but not the same as adding in some ST), and tends to make us very hungry, often undoing the work we've just done. A combination is going to do a lot more for you than just cardio. And 20 min of HIIT is a million times better than doing nothing because you don't have "an hour" of time available.

Lastly - for me, my health is about me, about my racing, and about what I want my life to look like - not how many likes I get on a photo or how "hot" I may or may not appear to some dude. F' that. I choose to work out because it makes me feel better. I am choosing to lose the weight because I feel better without it - I feel more energetic, and I'm happier overall. I eat right because I want to go sliding into old age being that crazy old lady who keeps the youngsters in check LOL :) If there's someone there who's along for the journey, that would be nice to find, but if not, that's not going to change whether I do it or not.

Everytime I'm thinking about "motivation" I remind myself that sometimes, I just need to quit with the excuses. Either it's important enough to do it, or it's not. The excuses are just ways of downplaying my choices. Sometimes I've just got to "put on my big girl panties" and go do it, regardless of what anyone else is, or is not, doing!

Edited by: COONSY at: 8/7/2017 (15:09)
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Try not, do or do not. There is no try.

Never argue with an idiot - they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

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I-AM-TITANIUM's Photo I-AM-TITANIUM SparkPoints: (94,682)
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8/7/17 6:50 A

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You stated :

"How do you keep motivated even when you're convinced that you're not going to do it"

It's about mindset..IF you think you won't do it ..You won't do it!

IF you think you will .. you will..!

I am losing weight for me and my health! I have other people in my life..but if I don't take care of ME.. then I will not be able to take care of anyone else..even children.. and eventually.. they will have to take care of me due to illnesses I could have prevented by taking care of myself!

I get no support from a partner..and truth be told.. I don't care if I don't. I need to be my own advocate and do this for me.. period! If my partner didn't want me because of my weight..what's next after I lose the hair choice of facial hair.. my cut of clothes..? (My last partner hated the way I dressed and insisted on buying all my .. suits..and ridiculed me for jeans and a T-shirt!)

I am not a 'Trophy' to be shown off to look good for other people. That is what my last partner wanted look good to friends based on how I looked!
(If I may say..that sounds like a very abusive relationship..meaning..YOU have to 'LOOK GOOD' for him and his friends .. or he hides you away and deprives you of a nurturing relationship based on his wants/desires!)

I cut out all the sugar..I only take a couple vitamins (suggested by the doctor) I don't and won't do 'diet pills'! My food are very balanced as well as nutritious. I went to a doctor prior to starting to lose weight . He gave me many valuable suggestions and referred me to folks to help. I joined a gym and got a Personal Trainer (modestly priced and worth every penny for her knowledge so that I know what to do effectively!)

I am here if you want/need help! I wish you all the best .. this site is helping me save my life for me. I do this for me!


Eastern Time Zone

Don't die from what could have been prevented ..

"Circumstances change you when you change your circumstances"

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BIONDINA123's Photo BIONDINA123 Posts: 1
8/7/17 6:21 A

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Hi guys!

I'm new here and I'm desperately trying to lose weight.
I'm currently 86kg (190lbs) and 172cm (5'8") which means a BMI of 29 :-( and I'm trying to get down to at least 75kg (165 lbs) but would love to get to 60kg (132lbs) but am conscious that that probably won't be possible.
I've started a HIIT program and am starting to cut out sugar, I am also going to take Alli tablets and cut out as much fat as I can. Clean eating etc.

Full disclosure: this is not the first time I've tried to lose weight and I always fail because I have no strength of character and I always try to keep everyone else happy. I hate the feeling of being left out.

Anyway I met my partner in May 2014 when I was 89kg (196 lbs) and we broke up twice because he couldn't deal with the weight. After the second time I was so upset about it that I lost 11kg (25 lbs) very quickly as I did not eat hardly at all and exercised my ass off (not healthy). When I was at that thinner weight my partner and I got back together. We then proceeded to travel around Europe and eat our way through some of the best restaurants and the weight slowly creeped on again. After Christmas and during a trip to another capital city my partner told me to watch my weight (I was 83kg or 183 lbs) at this point. I promised to lose 20kg in a quick amount of time (in my head it was easy - I'd just stop eating again) but I failed to realise that you can't starve yourself when you're in a relationship so I was unable to lose the weight. Unfortunately I then got tendinitis in my hip and couldn't work out and gained another 7kg (15 lbs).

Fast forward to today, I'm 86kg (190 lbs) and it's starting to put a strain on our relationship. He likes to remind me that I promised to lose 20kg 3 years ago and now doesn't believe anything I say. He says that I have no strength of character (I know that) and that I always choose the easy option (he says HIIT is a product and not an effective weight loss solution and that if I want to lose weight I need to run or swim for over 1 hour) and that he is simply not attracted to me like this. He says that I have a fantastic personality and that he stays with me for that reason otherwise he would have already left. He won't have kids with me until I lose weight because I will get fatter and fatter than I am already would be awful. Also he said that he's embarrassed by me and doesn't want to introduce me to his friends from back home as he doesn't want to have to explain why he's with a chubby girl.

Anyway, I'm 33 years old so I am going to try and lose weight this time as I really want to have kids and it's always getting late.

How do you keep motivated even when youre convinced that you're not going to do it and is HIIT an effective weight loss exercise regime? I do 5 days per week but am thinking of adding walking too and perhaps swimming if I can find the time.

Thanks for the help!

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