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SHERYLDS's Photo SHERYLDS Posts: 18,103
11/13/19 6:47 P

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As an intro.....maybe
but I don't know how you get a real perspective on someone until you are face to face with them. Online dating doesn't convey the body language, the tone of voice, the personal attitude, or how they look in real life, and their quirks.

I think it's hard to know if you are being catfished

Sheryl, New Jersey EST, 5% Challenge-TEDDY BEARS


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SHOAPIE's Photo SHOAPIE Posts: 30,404
11/12/19 8:39 P

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Scary



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11/12/19 8:18 P

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not for me

MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 22,402
11/12/19 4:04 P

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I'm old and married, but I wouldn't be brave enough even if I were single. That said, my neighbor's daughter met her husband online and they are very happy and so is my cousin who met his wife online. so I know it often works out.

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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9/9/19 11:43 A

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great or I wouldn't have my hubby 25 years later

Gaye / Michigan

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RLDN05's Photo RLDN05 Posts: 463
9/9/19 10:08 A

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Found my husband on-line 16 years ago. But be careful. If you think the guy is a jerk ask questions and find out before you give him your phone number.



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9/7/19 6:29 P

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I've been with hubby and married 25 years and we met online

Gaye / Michigan

"TRUST THE PROCESS!"

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ALUKOWSKY's Photo ALUKOWSKY SparkPoints: (19,326)
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9/6/19 1:30 P

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I've been married for 15 years so it's a moot point but....

Back in my 20s and 30s, MOST of my best and serious long-term relationships began online or via newspaper personals (back before the dinosaurs, lol!) The best date I've ever been on was with someone I had met online. I enjoyed meeting every one of those individuals, fell passionately in love with a couple of them, and the worst thing that ever happened is occasionally encountering someone with whom I had absolutely nothing in common. I don't think it has to be creepy, and responding to an ad takes a lot of the games and guesswork out of it since you're both there because you ARE seeking a relationship.

You just need to be sensible. Chat online for a while, arrange to meet in a public place, and plan an activity that keeps you engaged rather than just going to a bar. If the two of you don't hit it off, you never have to see each other again. It is really not that much different than two strangers meeting by chance.

Edited by: ALUKOWSKY at: 9/6/2019 (13:33)
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.


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9/5/19 8:54 A

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yes I met my hubby 25 years ago through an ad in the newspaper only ad I ever answered

Gaye / Michigan

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9/5/19 7:48 A

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Great



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9/3/19 1:31 A

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NO

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9/3/19 1:18 A

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MANY LIES THERE



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9/3/19 12:09 A

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Why not



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9/2/19 11:25 P

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It is great! Met my husband on a dating app :) We had our first date about 4 years ago. I'd just say be SUPER picky about who you respond to/approach on the app. It was seriously like a ratio of 100:1 for guys I would swipe "no" to, to guys I'd swipe "yes" to. You have to be picky in order to weed out anyone that gives you a bad vibe or won't be worth your time.

"One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time." - Barbara Walters


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SUNSHINE99999 Posts: 27,526
9/2/19 5:19 P

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Works for some people



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9/1/19 2:12 P

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Not for me

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9/1/19 12:12 P

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25 years ago I met my husband through an online newspaper ad and it was the best thing I have ever done. He agrees....but that was 25 years ago....just be VERY careful and make sure to talk lots first.

Gaye / Michigan

"TRUST THE PROCESS!"

Living by Romans 6,7 & 8!





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8/31/19 8:41 P

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It sounds like you're being scared, and that can stem from a lot of things - hesitation to try, valid experience, and fear of rejection. All fair points, but it does you a big disservice to decide - wholecloth - that no form of online dating will work for you.

Not all dating apps are Tinder.

I found my darling online. We met through Plenty of Fish, and his pictures weren't at all what led me to match with him - it was his profile. I think apps that focus on the profile and not the pictures are by and large the better kind. I knew where we stood on things like drinking and children, on things like favorite books and movies. It gave me things to talk to him about to get to know him. All of which I did before I met him in real life (in a public location, with people on stand-by in case I needed an out).

Apps like Tinder aren't really built around the bio. It's all about the looks, and for a reason - we all know it was built to be a hook-up app.

I'm not online dating now, obviously, but I hear good things about Hinge. My understanding is it's one where you are matched through people you are connected to in real life. A lot of people I know use it to a lot of success. You know people in common, so it's easy to vet the other person quickly.

If you just aren't capable of taking the leap, try going to dedicated singles events. I know a lot of meet-ups are arranged online, but look at singles mixers, and that sort of thing. Though, in my experience, I've encountered way more creepers at those sort of places than I have in online dating.



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EEJAA70 Posts: 16,111
8/31/19 7:19 P

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I would like to try it but I find it kind of scary.

BIKE4HEALTH's Photo BIKE4HEALTH Posts: 12,184
8/29/19 5:34 A

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A lot of false information at times



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STARMONICA's Photo STARMONICA SparkPoints: (303,953)
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8/28/19 9:53 A

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I like chatting on line but not dating

RLDN05's Photo RLDN05 Posts: 463
8/28/19 9:48 A

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That's where I met my husband 15 years ago.



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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 36,635
8/24/19 4:05 P

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I don't think it's for me. I am not good finding healthy relationships when it comes to dating. I figure online dating , people can hide who they are as a person and what they are really like even better than in person.

Cynthia~~~ A follower of Jesus Christ!!

South Carolina The Palmetto State Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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8/23/19 10:11 A

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If I were single, yes

Chuck

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LIVEANDLAUGH's Photo LIVEANDLAUGH Posts: 1,730
8/22/19 3:36 P

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I don't think I'd have the guts. On the other hand, my daughter met her husband that way. They married last year emoticon

Olivia
"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." Vincent Van Gogh


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7/14/19 12:53 P

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ok

Gaye / Michigan

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BANKER-CHUCK's Photo BANKER-CHUCK Posts: 8,883
7/14/19 10:22 A

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An alternative

Chuck

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6/6/19 1:14 P

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ok if careful

Gaye / Michigan

"TRUST THE PROCESS!"

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SHOAPIE's Photo SHOAPIE Posts: 30,404
6/6/19 12:39 P

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Scary



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-POLEDANCEGIRL-'s Photo -POLEDANCEGIRL- Posts: 15,097
6/6/19 12:06 P

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I met my husband through Match.com. We were both busy professionals and would have never crossed paths in the offline world. I think its great if you use it properly. I talked to him via email (not text) for a month before I met him in person. You have to take the time to find people that are truly looking for someone to enjoy life. I did weed through my share of creepers.



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5/30/19 4:00 P

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Married, but OK for some if careful in choices.

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5/30/19 11:52 A

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It is another avenue to meet people. Nothing wrong with online dating.

Chuck

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SUNSHINE99999 Posts: 27,526
5/30/19 11:08 A

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Been married for 34 years, but I do have friends that have met that way.



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5/30/19 12:26 A

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It's not something I would have ever done.

Leader "Slightly Off the Wall" humor team
Leader "Small Goals and Commitment Team:
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-Starting small is better than not starting at all. .... 2bdynaic

Just because the sun set yesterday does not mean it won't rise again tomorrow. .... 2B ... words to keep hope alive-


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5/29/19 9:30 A

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ok if one is careful

Gaye / Michigan

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MOMMACAT57's Photo MOMMACAT57 Posts: 3,072
5/29/19 7:55 A

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I don’t think it is safe.



EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 4,980
5/29/19 7:07 A

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I think it is very iffy!

A lot of scammers take advantage of lonely ppl.

Used to be Eowyn2424


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5/29/19 6:21 A

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scary and a lot of scams

Make it happen- just one step at a time!


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5/23/19 9:29 P

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Leary



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5/23/19 8:11 P

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fine if careful

Gaye / Michigan

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OBIESMOM2's Photo OBIESMOM2 Posts: 15,631
5/21/19 12:29 P

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Does Events & Adventures have a chapter in your area?

It's GROUPS of singles, getting together for an event that they enjoy (bike rides, sporting events, hiking, etc.)

You'd be with a group. You'd already have a shared interest. I would guess that you could have several group meetings before you ever went anywhere as a couple.

I don't know anything about them firsthand (I'm married), but that's the route I would feel comfortable taking if I was single and wanted to meet someone.

The most handicapped person in the world is a negative thinker; a person who has the skills, abilities, talents and tools, yet chooses not to use them.
~Heather Whitestone

Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen


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MOMMACAT57's Photo MOMMACAT57 Posts: 3,072
5/21/19 11:04 A

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I have never tried it.



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3/25/19 10:26 A

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fine

Gaye / Michigan

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SMITTY934's Photo SMITTY934 Posts: 517
3/25/19 10:23 A

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I'm find with them, my wife would most likely not be cool with it though ;-)

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3/24/19 11:34 P

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My husband and I met online... have been married for 17 years.

Cammie
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3/21/19 10:59 P

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I honestly have come across more "creepers" in real-life "social" situations than I ever have on-line - and find it far easier to avoid them on-line as well.

I met my husband on-line over a decade ago, on a dating site - where we both had "profiles" with no picture and no information that were set to private. We both spent our time on that site on the local political message boards, and I sent him a message of "Thanks for the smile - well done" after he had posted a beautifully succinct and sarcastic response on a thread. Since neither of us had a profile public, all that we knew of each other were the opinions and personalities expressed in our forum posts - possibly a more accurate portrayal than the "social face" that most wear when first meeting in person. We knew from our posts that we had a lot in common, started creating a great friendship in private messages over a couple of weeks (discussions and debates and sharing favourite books), then decided to go out for dinner --- and moved in together 5 weeks later.

Honestly - if you seek out experiences and conversation and locations (on-line or real-life) on a subject or hobby or activity that interests you, and chat with others who share that interest, then you create friendships. Those friendships may or may not lead to romance, but they will greatly enrich your life regardless. When you choose to participate in on-line fora or sites that are based on something local, then you increase your chances of getting to know someone with common interests and whom you might be able to spend some time with in person. Besides our own meeting, many of our local friends are folks whom we met through shared interest fora (outdoor sports, off-road vehicles, back-country camping, wildlife preservation, etc.)

If you're not looking for a hook-up, then by all means skip the "dating sites". If you are looking for friendship and fun human contact, then join an on-line class from your local community college (pick one that has discussion boards), or go and take some practical classes in stuff that interests you (woodworking, or cooking, or basic home plumbing), or join a group with something that interests you and that has local group meets. You find out more about someone's real personality when they are going on about something that excites them, and aren't being careful and "nice" about meeting a "potential date". Hopefully YOU will be as focused on enjoying the activity and having fun as they are, and so will be able to shed the "fear of creepers" bubble and let your natural personality out to draw in new friends.

Sir Terry Pratchett: "Science is not about building a body of known 'facts'. It is a method for asking awkward questions and subjecting them to a reality-check, thus avoiding the human tendency to believe whatever makes us feel good."

"The Inuit Paradox" ( discovermagazine.com/2004/oct/inuit-
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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,941
3/21/19 3:09 P

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There was this one guy who explicitly told me. He doesn't date fat chicks. I went out with him. (We all have our preferences) I went out with him to find out. He was obese himself. Perhaps he would like to rephrase that?

Anyway. He went on to marry a woman. Who was so nasty. A nastier person never drew breath. She was quite over weight. So they probably torment each other. If they are still married, that is



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3/21/19 12:02 P

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ok it's how I met my hubby 28 years ago! (newspaper ad)

Edited by: GABY1948 at: 3/21/2019 (12:02)
Gaye / Michigan

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3/21/19 10:20 A

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No way!



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3/19/19 10:13 P

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For me, it would make me very uncomfortable



Amy from Oregon

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3/19/19 9:43 P

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not for me, but it works for others.



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3/19/19 6:39 P

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it's fine

Gaye / Michigan

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3/19/19 7:00 A

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@ARCHIMEDESII OMG!!!!!!!! Apparently, that guy needs a vocabulary lesson on what an athlete is. I am confident that being an "armchair quarterback who performs multiple (beer) bicep curls" isn't included as an example.

People not matching their pictures is a HUGE problem with online profiles. Plus, many have criminal records; I personally encountered one of those. I dodged a bullet with that one after telling him I would contact the police if he continued to harass me via text. Yeah, no more...

Meghan in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA


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I have seen it work for some people most beautifully and so so for others.
If one is dilligent with background checking and meeting in a safe place I think it could be okay.

"'Enough' is a feast. Buddhist proverb


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I think it's crazy, not even close to being safe, and the amount of lairs out there it would be insane to even think of it.....

Do what you have to to be happy in this life.....
(quote from Bridges of Madison County)

The animals have no voice but ours....
(motto of our animal shelter)

What have you done today to make yourself proud? (biggest loser)

NEW YEAR NEW RULES!



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3/18/19 8:21 P

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I'm happily married, but I would be afraid to try it if I wasn't married!!!

Edited by: JANIEWWJD at: 3/18/2019 (20:24)
Janie Garcia Moreno

"WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE"

"PRAYER CHANGES THINGS"

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"WHAT THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE!"


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I am married, but we’re I single I would be very cautious about trying to meet someone that way.

NATASHA_D1's Photo NATASHA_D1 Posts: 4,632
3/18/19 2:05 P

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thankful I am with my husband 15 yrs later and still love him

http://momentsforalifetime.wordpress.com

Also on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id
=100000887824831
business profile, Natasha Poirier


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Who has guys contact them through Facebook? Me

But it's not any good. I don't like to chat on messenger with strangers. That api s for talking to family and real life friends



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3/18/19 11:24 A

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I met my hubby through a newspaper ad 15 years ago.

Gaye / Michigan

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ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (221,852)
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3/18/19 9:19 A



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MLAN,

I'll tell you a funny online dating story.

There was one guy who told me he was athletic. When I met him, he struck me as someone who couldn't even walk 10,000 steps without getting winded. Turns out his idea of being "athletic" was watching the Pats game on Sundays.

LOLLLLLLLLLL

I laugh now, but I can't tell you how many guys I met online who said they worked out regularly didn't. Chugging a beer was their workout. sheesh.

DJ_514's Photo DJ_514 Posts: 1,648
3/18/19 8:29 A

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I met my husband online also.



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CRUISINLOSIN's Photo CRUISINLOSIN SparkPoints: (13,678)
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3/18/19 7:22 A

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That's how I met my husband.

Debbie
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MLAN613 Posts: 22,952
3/18/19 7:09 A

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I have tried online dating and have heard of a few success stories. I actually met my ex-husband through an online site. The marriage ended not because of the online start; it was a much more serious situation which I won't discuss here.

I, too, am done with online dating. As the others have said, too many bad people out there. I did have a little fun with cat phishers; you can smell them a mile away. LOL.

Plus, I was finding too many men who didn't have the same interests as I do. I want someone who is active and doesn't sit around and drink. So, I hope to meet another quality man someday but nothing yet,

Meghan in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA


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3/18/19 5:44 A



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I've tried it. I did meet a couple of nice guys. But, in order to meet those couple of nice guy, I had to sort through all the married men, the porn addicts and the ones who need serious meds.

No more online dating for me.

I'm with Sheryl. I'm looking at activity groups where I can meet and socialize with different people who share similar interests. Book clubs, art lectures at the museum, library lectures, activity clubs like running or cycling clubs, adult education classes.



EEJAA70 Posts: 16,111
3/18/19 12:22 A

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Have never tried it.

MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,941
3/17/19 11:09 P

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I've never had any luck with it but some have. I have made some good friends though



SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (314,459)
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3/17/19 11:08 P



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I would never consider On-Line Dating ... too many wackos out there.

I am single, too. My husband died over 6 years ago.

I don't see that we "NEED" to have partners. I am very happy with my own company, but enjoy the platonic company of others without dating when I want.

Kris

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 3/18/2019 (22:58)
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3/17/19 9:17 P

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Leery



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CSROBERTSON621's Photo CSROBERTSON621 Posts: 5,371
3/17/19 8:14 P

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I actually met my husband of 20+ years online - though not specifically a dating site. (Not sure they even existed as such in 1996!) We were just in an online group of local theater goers and I was complaining that no one I knew wanted to go to a particular show I wanted to see. He offered to take me... and after talking on the phone to plan - which ended up being a 3 hour conversation - it kind of turned into an actual date. We got married about a year later.

I think it’s a little different with today’s dating apps, but I still think it’s possible for two people with similar interests to meet up that way and hit it off.

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SHERYLDS's Photo SHERYLDS Posts: 18,103
3/17/19 8:00 P

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volunteering, sports events, sports bars.

I don't believe in on-line dating. IMO, it's better to feel things out in a social environment to test if there is any attraction.

Sheryl, New Jersey EST, 5% Challenge-TEDDY BEARS


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ON_A_DIET's Photo ON_A_DIET Posts: 11,223
3/17/19 5:22 P

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Yes, I am single and no I do not trust on-line dating. I think that there are just too many creepers are out there.

Now, grant it, I am a team leader for a Sparkpeople singles team, but there is barely any activity, let alone any indecency, vulgarity, or sexually explicit period.

I have attempted going out into the community, but the men are either married or gay.

Do you have any words of wisdom? I am in no way of putting you down if you have found your mate on-line. I just know things would not work out for me like they have for you.

Do you have any words of wisdom?

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