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SPARK_MERLE's Photo SPARK_MERLE Posts: 8,582
12/1/18 1:46 P

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That's great that your son is able to help out for a while. It is difficult to deal with the dementia, I'm sure, and only harder when alone. Wishing you all the best. Please do keep us updated and keep reaching out to the community for support. Sadly, there are many people in a similar situation and it can help to chat with them.

Hope this is a good day!

Spark_Merle

~ Merle

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."
Edward Everett Hale


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12/1/18 12:24 P

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Thank you all for your kind thoughts and ideas. Yesterday was hard, today is much better. Our adult son has moved in with us for a few months to help, and the husband seems to do better when the son is here. Probably just having another man around helps him. Like I said he is newly diagnosed, so he can still do many things. So we continue day by day. One thing we are doing is going to bed earlier, it seems later in the evening is harder for him.



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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,718
11/30/18 6:14 P

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Big hugs. Sorry to hear about what you're going through



NIRERIN Posts: 14,448
11/30/18 5:12 P

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One of my friends took an improv class and one of the techniques that they utilized was "yes, and..." and it was some variation of this that we ended up using with my grandmother. She had her good days and her bad days, but if you rolled with whatever direction she was going you would still get some of her. If you tried to correct or confront her it would start to get really rough really fast. Yes, she might think that you were another relative rather than you, but the other names and places and stories would still come out.

We moved her into a home when she was diagnosed and she was one of the people that it helped a lot. She was eating and getting her medication on a regular schedule, which actually evened her out for a few years. One thing that the facility she was in had was a board with the date, season, next holiday, temperature, weather and so forth, kinda like what you would see in an elementary school classroom. Having this as an easily accessible resource gave her a little bit of an independent way to orient herself.

-google first. ask questions later.

BARBWMS's Photo BARBWMS Posts: 1,902
11/30/18 12:15 P

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I am sorry to hear your difficulty... you're acting with love for your companion... but you hopefully will find support and coping techniques to treat yourself with love, too. Please reach out for help in your community, your church, your circle of friends.

Be a voice, not an echo!
Barb


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KATTHOMAS2 Posts: 581
11/30/18 11:30 A

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So sorry that you are going through difficult times. Our family has found that support groups & daycare facilities are very helpful. Above all, remember to look after yourself.



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MLAN613 Posts: 20,494
11/30/18 6:09 A

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Wow...you are dealing with so much. I hope those groups help you.You could also maybe check your local county government or non-profit groups to see if there are any real life groups that are helpful.

In the meantime, I encourage you to try and make baby steps towards healthy living including good nutrition and exercise. One idea might be to take a walk (if you can leave him alone safely of course) or do a short exercise routine.

Edited to add:
Striving towards being the healthiest you will help you manage the stress of helping your loved one.

Edited by: MLAN613 at: 12/1/2018 (07:00)
Meghan in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA


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11/29/18 5:27 P

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thank you, I am checking them out.



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SPARK_MERLE's Photo SPARK_MERLE Posts: 8,582
11/29/18 2:27 P

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Hello,

I am sorry to hear about your husband's condition. It is good you are looking for a support system. Being a caregiver can be difficult and you need to be sure to take care of yourself too. I found a few Spark Teams for caregivers that you might want to check out. I am not sure how active they are; that is something you will want to see--I did make sure there were at least some posts recently in them.

Alzheimer, Dementia Caregiver Health Support
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=66527


Taking care of an Alzheimer's spouse/parent/friend
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=35382


Caregivers Support
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=4565


I hope this helps. Best wishes!

Spark_Merle

~ Merle

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."
Edward Everett Hale


SHOAPIE's Photo SHOAPIE Posts: 25,218
11/29/18 2:24 P

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emoticon emoticon



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11/29/18 12:45 P

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Is there a message board for caregivers for dementia patients? I am caring for my husband who was diagnosed last year, and every dispute sends me to kitchen. Some days are wonderful and others are dreadful.



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