Many years ago, we went to a concert where we were going to meet up with her friend. We arrived first. So I asked her, what does your friend look like ? My cousin described her as middle aged, wears glasses, shoulder length black hair and overweight.
Her friend joined us. Yes, she was middle aged, wore glasses, had shoulder length black hair and was a little overweight. And while she may have been a little overweight, she was smaller than my cousin who was obese for her height.
My cousin (whom I love dearly) likes to draw attention to people who are morbidly obese or whom she thinks needs to lose weight. You can't point out to her that SHE is just as obese as some of the people she's saying needs to lose weight.
I've tried to explain that to her, but stopped because we end up arguing and not speaking for months. which is why weight loss like politics and religion is no longer discussed.
Fitness Minutes: (42,007)
27,884 9/7/18 3:43 A
I just remembered another time .... my boss at the time.
Bolt out the blue, and in a nasty way, he asked me why I was so fat. Then told me because it was all that food I stuffed in my mouth. Only thing was, I didn't eat at lot or unwise choices, having always eaten a really healthy diet. Also, funny thing was, HE WAS ALSO FAT!!!
Let me count the ways. I have ALWAYS struggled with weight (even as a child) I was always tall and heavy (overweight). By the age of 13, I was 5'8" and 180. My mother took me to a 'fat doctor' who prescribed pills. That didn't last long. I found it easy to brush off comments from strangers (and the truth is, strangers rarely say it), but my greatest critic was my mother. Every compliment, every achievement, every accolade was accompanied by a reminder: "but your fat, you have to lose weight". She would offer me a dessert and continue coaxing me until I ate it, but if I helped myself to something, she would jump at the opportunity to ridicule me. Sabotage. When I moved into my first apartment, my mother looked at the tub and told me it was too small for me. ??? I was 5'11" and weighed 195. When she bought a recliner she informed me that it was too small for me, It was her size. And on and on and on. Emotional eating was a way to stuff the anger.
When I was in my late 20s I lost a lot of weight and was looking great. At a family Xmas party my mother made a secret bet with my cousins that they could not get me to eat sweets. Naturally they spent the entire party trying to tempt me. At the end of the party they told me what was going on...I was furious. I felt betrayed.
At some point I realized that it was her way of putting me in my place. For a lot of people, the 'fat person' is an easy target. I had a button she could always push...and she loved to push it.
Thankfully, the button went 'Out Of Order' a long time ago.
Sheryl, New Jersey EST, SUMMER 5% Challenge-KITCHEN CHAMPIONS
I was doing a computer course at the time. Our class was having a discussion and I said something that the man obviously didn't agree with.
I was not only called fat (by a thin man in his early 20's, when I was in my mid 40's and about 85kg (185lb) at the time), but also told because of my size I didn't deserve to be on this earth taking up so much space and air other people needed. He threatened to kill me, and went into the kitchen and threw his cup right across the room, and threw a chair.
My response? I said and did nothing. He obviously had a problem, anger management being one of them, and I wasn't the cause of it. I just practiced deep, mindful breathing.
The man was dismissed from the course and barred from stepping foot on the property again.
I have. But I did not get upset, because I WAS fat. Anyone could see that I was, so no sense getting all offended about the truth.
"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." ~ Randy Pausch
"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results." ~ Art Turock
"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good." ~ 7 Years in T
Fitness Minutes: (334,341)
9/2/18 5:21 P
I once was referred to in the name part of a pizza order from a place that rhymes with PIZZA BUT as a fat old man. I had walked into the store and made my order I couldn't argue the fat part, but I was in my 40's at the time. Some co-workers told me to sue the chain over it. No thank you. I'm not interested in getting some young lady fired for being dumb enough to give me that receipt with a fat old man in the name section.
September SparkPoints: 1,393
Fitness Minutes: (0)
9/2/18 3:28 P
oh goodness gracious, yes I have been called the f word and worse.
When I was in high school, I was a chubby teen. Not an obese teen, but a little overweight. definitely larger than my classmates who all seemed to be pencil slim. I was a size 13 in a sea of size 5-7.
One day, we were changing classes. We were walking up the stairs when one classmate shouts out,"Archie, you're a fox, without the F !" Everyone except me laughed. I think I did the sarcastic, har har and kept on walking. But his comment hurt. I know he was an idiot to say it, but I had no response.
Today, when someone asks me how to reply to something like that, I tell them a story about Winston Churchill. I'm going to paraphrase. One day Churchill was at a function where he also happened to be drunk. A grand lady walked up to him and said,"You sir are drunk". He's supposed to have replied,"And you madam are ugly. Tomorrow morning, I shall be sober and you will still be ugly".
I don't know if that's a true story or not, but it's one that always appealed to me.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. We can't allow people to hurt us with the phrase, you're fat. I know I'm fat, but at least I'm trying to make a difference.
Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 9/2/2018 (15:22)
Fitness Minutes: (88,104)
10,667 9/2/18 11:09 A
Happy Saturday, Sparkers! I'm working on a Spark article about how to handle being called "the F-word." Has it ever happened to you? And if so, how did you respond or deal with the situation? I would love to hear your story. Feel free to respond here or send me an email!