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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,664
7/14/18 11:30 A

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@MARIA11X. That's probably why we watch JAG and NCIS. We have no idea how those services are run. If my dad knew he would spend the entire show screaming, that's not how they do it!

I also have a dog. She's 14 and my shadow


The other fuzzy one is rather independent




MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,664
7/14/18 11:10 A

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I volunteered at a nursing home. For a brief amount of time. I couldn't keep doing it.

Some of those people have no one. The staff isn't always that great. They can be, but you hear stories.

I take care of my parents now. I hope I never have to put them in a nursing home.

I think your boss is a saint for volunteering in a nursing home.

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 7/14/2018 (11:11)

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7/13/18 8:31 P



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Elaine, we have all made comments and suggestions on how to improve yourself, yet you still don't take that on board or appear to try them out. Perhaps learning meditation would help you. Another thing that would be beneficial is to resume *REGULAR* therapy and tell your Therapist that you NEED to include this in your sessions. You can't say you are still in Therapy when you last went over a year ago.

Kris

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7/13/18 9:56 A



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"I'd like to thank all of you for taking the time to respond. I may not like what I am reading but I'd like to improve myself.

Can you tell me how? Thanks!"

Based on the replies you've seen in this thread, what are some things you think you could do ?

MLAN613 Posts: 19,913
7/13/18 7:43 A

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Elaine, some people have spent YEARS giving you ideas on how to change and improve yourself, meet your dialysis and nutrition goals. Why should we believe that you want to change now? This thread and a few others from the last month or two show give examples of how ugly and selfish your true attitude is.

I have honestly read several of your threads across time where you promise to change, only to be let down time and time again. Why should I believe you now? After all, on this very thread you recently shared that you were "sharing your true thoughts" after berating your kind boss about her choices in helping people in need as we Christians are Biblically commanded to do.

Edited by: MLAN613 at: 7/13/2018 (11:17)
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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,070
7/13/18 6:57 A

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I'd like to thank all of you for taking the time to respond. I may not like what I am reading but I'd like to improve myself.

Can you tell me how? Thanks!

Used to be Eowyn2424


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MLAN613 Posts: 19,913
7/13/18 6:31 A

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Arch, PREACH IT!!! You are absolutely right.

Elaine, you claim to be a Christian. But your words, attitude, and actions here on Spark tell a different story. I am still very angry. I don't get very angry very often.

I am going to share with you a quote from Sheldon Vanauken, a Christian American author,

"The best argument for Christianity is Christians: their joy, their certainty, their completeness. But the strongest argument against Christianity is also Christians--when they are sombre and joyless, when they are self-righteous and smug in complacent consecration, when they are narrow and repressive, then Christianity dies a thousand deaths. [...]"


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7/13/18 6:02 A



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"I m sorry if my comments offended so many ppl.
I was just sharing my honest thoughts."

Elaine, I hope your boss doesn't read your honest thoughts. Then she too would see how you've taken advantage of her kindness the same way you've taken advantage of the kindness of the Spark members.

The only reason you have a part time job is because of your boss. She has been incredibly kind and generous to you. And all you can do is complain that you're losing a day's pay because she wants to do Christian work.

You've got a lot of nerve. You complained when your parents bought new cell phones how they got the 64gig model and you ONLY got the 32gig. You complained that the old patients in dialysis are treated better than you. You have your mother get up at 5am to make sure you get to dialysis by 6am, just because you have to be first.

You know what you said that made me laugh ??? This statement you made.

"I just happen to see it differently, why waste a day's work for someone who doesn't appreciate it......"

Why did that make me laugh ? because you just described yourself in that statement. You don't see it because you're so self centered.

Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 7/13/2018 (06:09)
MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 550
7/13/18 1:55 A

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"I lost another day's pay yesterday bcoz my boss was volunteering in an old folk's home. I don't understand why she can't do this on my dialysis days. I don't really care what she does with her time unless it affects my livelihood,"

Elaine,

Before you ever got this job, you did not appear at all concerned about losing a day's pay, so why now that you have it, you are focused on how your livelihood is affected? If your boss only knew how selfish you really are and what you really think about her and what she chooses to do with her time. You would be lucky to still have a job.

And God forbid that you ever get old and end up at an old folks home, since your parents won't be around to help you at that time, they will be long gone, and it doesn't look like your brother will help you. Karma has a way of biting people in the rear end, if you believe in that, which I do. My mother used to always say "what you give out, you get back," in other words, what comes around, goes around.

Continue to think only of yourself and keep being selfish and you will find yourself alone, eventually. You might be able to fool your boss, pretending to be gracious, but you've pretty much shown to all of us here who you really are. And for all your talk about church and God and all of that, if that were really instilled in you, you would not be talking in such selfish and inconsiderate ways.

I am a Christian and I believe in God, and I stopped going to church because I got tired of being around certain judgmental people who dressed and acted their best on Sunday but then acted mean and selfish and rude the other 6 days a week. All the prayers in the world are not going to help those kind of people if that is who they are at their core. It told me that it was all for show on Sunday morning. Don't get me wrong, I didn't say all are like that, it was certain ones, but it was enough for me to decide I did not need to be around that.

Forgive me if you think I am being harsh. I'm just giving my honest thoughts.

Edited by: MARIA11X at: 7/13/2018 (02:07)

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7/13/18 1:49 A

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MANDIETERRIER1:

Thank you for your kind sentiments. I would have to agree with your Mom, lol. Not only am I a military wife, I am also in the military myself. I have a hard time watching certain military shows and movies. I read somewhere where the writers are actually required to have inaccuracies in the storylines, uniforms, etc., so that this way it would not be considered impersonating a servicemember.

One of my greatest fears is if my husband and I ever get deployed overseas at the same time, as it would most likely be in two different locations (we have different jobs). We've been apart for short periods of time (a month or two) when one or both of us are away at training, but this is going to be the longest we've been apart since we've been a couple (we've only been married for less than 2 months, and we were a couple for more than 5 years before we got married). This time he'll be gone for a year total.


I think it's hardest on our dog when we are both away, because we have to board her and then her routine is disrupted. She's 11 and as she gets older I hate to put her through sudden changes. Luckily, we finally found a very good dog hotel and the staff are absolutely wonderful and loving people. They adore her, and are always so happy and excited to see her when I bring her in.




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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,664
7/12/18 11:33 P

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@MARIA11X My mom, sister and sister in law are military wives. They understand what you are going through. I've always admired them and women like you. Who keep many plates spinning.

Funny story, when the TV show Army Wives was on. I asked my mom if she wanted to watch. She said, no why do you think I would want to watch? Memories? I said. Then she looks at me over the top of her glasses and says. I could tell them a thing or two. I could write their scripts for them.



LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 27,530
7/12/18 10:41 P

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" I don't understand why she can't do this on my dialysis days. "
Because her life - and her doing what she feels is God's work - does not revolve around you.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
~ 7 Years in T
EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,070
7/12/18 9:34 P

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I m sorry if my comments offended so many ppl.

I was just sharing my honest thoughts.

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SUNSHINE99999 Posts: 21,265
7/12/18 9:02 P

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boo hoo



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MLAN613 Posts: 19,913
7/12/18 8:11 P

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Elaine,

I needed to take few moments to count to 10 several times before I responded to you. Your nasty and disgustingly rude comments about your boss in tangent with the comments you made about the stroke patient are prime examples as to why I refuse to help you any longer.

I cannot believe what you wrote!

Edited by: MLAN613 at: 7/12/2018 (20:58)
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SHERYLDS's Photo SHERYLDS Posts: 17,719
7/12/18 7:47 P

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It sounds like your boss didn't have appointments scheduled for that day,
so she decided there was no reason for you to come in, therefore,
she was going to do some volunteer work.

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7/12/18 7:41 P



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"I lost another day's pay yesterday bcoz my boss was volunteering in an old folk's home. I don't understand why she can't do this on my dialysis days. I don't really care what she does with her time unless it affects my livelihood, which has happened bcoz of her obsession in doing God's work, as she puts it."


EOWYN,

What an absolutely selfish thing to say about your boss !!! I am appalled that you can say such a thing about the woman who has been PAYING you to work as her assistant.

It's none of your business to question what days she decides to do some volunteering at the old folk's home. If she chooses to do it on the day that you work, you have no right to complain. She's not neglecting her work. She's choosing to volunteer her time to help others.

Seriously, that is one of the most selfish things I've seen you post !! You should be grateful for many things this lady has provided to you without asking for any thanks. Let's list them out since you seem to have forgotten.

1) She offered you a part time job as her assistant for which you are PAID.
2) She has bought you breakfast, lunch and snacks many times.
3) She has driven and picked you up from the train station.
4) She has let you work from her own home instead of the office.
5) She gives you work that you can do from home.

And how do you repay her kindness ? By complaining that YOU'RE losing a day's pay because she is volunteering to help old people.

You know what ? It wouldn't hurt you to be there helping her. It might teach you to be more thankful for what this woman has given you many times over.

You seem to forget, if it wasn't for your boss, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A PART TIME JOB !!!



Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 7/12/2018 (19:46)
EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,070
7/12/18 7:22 P

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I lost another day's pay yesterday bcoz my boss was volunteering in an old folk's home. I don't understand why she can't do this on my dialysis days. I don't really care what she does with her time unless it affects my livelihood, which has happened bcoz of her obsession in doing God's work, as she puts it.

I understand the need to serve but not to the extent of neglecting your job and even worse, when it starts to affect your employees!

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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 550
7/11/18 9:22 P

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I should feel offended for the comment on working with a stroke patient as a waste of a day. My mother-in-law had a stroke 2 years ago and she has not been the same since. She is starting to really decline, and dementia is setting in. Do you think she asked for this? My brother-in-law even had the nerve to say that it was my mother-in-law's own fault that she got a stroke because she forgot to take her medication. The most ignorant thing I ever heard in my life. She's 84 years old, she's going to forget things! And besides, her own adult daughter was living with her at the time, along with her two adult grandchildren (both are her daughter's children) and no one bothered to take the time for 2 minutes in a day to check to help my mother-in-law take her meds, much less make sure she'd eaten. She lives in a memory care facility now. There are days I go to see her and she does not recognize me right away, I still keep going, and I take her to all of her doctor appointments and lab appointments. Does she always say "thank you?" No, but sometimes she smiles when she sees me or she hugs me when I leave. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law do not think to take the time to take her to these appointments. They say they are "too busy" or don't want to take the time off from work. Well, I am busy too, and I take time off from work, too. Someone has to help. My husband is not available right now, he is deployed overseas for the military. He gets so angry and frustrated at his siblings for having this attitude. He has enough to worry about over there than to worry about his mother.


To add to all of that, I have a brain injury myself. And I still manage to go to work, go to school full-time, do homework and studying, go to military training, and take care of myself, my mother-in-law, and my dog, and help my husband from where I am at home. So before you say anything about wasting a day, I would love to have an extra 4 hours a day each day, since I only get 4 hours of sleep a night in order to accomplish everything I need to get done. Is it bad for my brain injury to go on every day (including weekends) on 4 hours of sleep a night? Of course, but until I get some help, this is what I am faced with.


Try putting yourself in someone else's shoes before you make such cold and disheartening comments. You need to think about how you affect other people with the things you say, Elaine.

I always tried to be supportive of you, Elaine, and then you manage to insult people with comments such as those.


Maria



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7/10/18 9:59 A



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"I just happen to see it differently, why waste a day's work for someone who doesn't appreciate it......"

EOWYN,

I have a story for you. Last month, I bought a ticket for a charity raffle. There was only one prize and it was for tickets to a Red Sox baseball game. The charity that benefited from the raffle is called Community Servings. They provide meals for people who are too sick to cook for themselves.

The ticket cost me $30 US or 120 Malaysian ringgets.

For some people, that's a lot of money to spend on one ticket. A couple of my coworkers asked why I paid so much for one ticket when there was a chance I would lose. Wouldn't I lose $30 if I didn't win the raffle ?

Why did I buy the ticket if I thought I might lose ? Isn't that a waste of my money ? The thing is, I didn't lose. No, I did not win the baseball tickets. What did I win ? I won because I knew that my $30 was not wasted. It fed a family in need for a week.

Do you think I wasted $30 buying the ticket ?


Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 7/10/2018 (10:01)
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7/10/18 6:04 A



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EOWYN,

I found this quote that I think will help put things into perspective for you.



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7/9/18 10:48 P

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I always try to help those in need because we don't know what awaits us in the future. "There for the grace of God go I." God bless you Elaine!!!

Janie Garcia Moreno

"WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE"

"PRAYER CHANGES THINGS"

"NEVER PUT A QUESTION MARK WHERE GOD HAS PUT A PERIOD!"

"WHAT THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE!"


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7/9/18 9:28 P



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Elaine - I was totally gobsmacked when I read your comments about that poor stroke victim. Your boss has, what you obviously lack - and that is compassion and empathy!!!

I have worked at LOT with stroke victims. They can affect a person's memory and mental judgement/reasoning, etc., which means the ability to function properly by themselves is greatly reduced.

I have also suffered a brain injury .... 17 years ago. People who don't know me don't realize, and those who know me very well don't understand realize I had one, or if they do, how it affects me. If I am tired or stressed, my ability to do paperwork is often greatly reduced. Whereas I once did a lot of complicated applications etc. for others, sometimes I need help to do mine, now.

Kris


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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,664
7/9/18 6:59 P

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By the next day. I can forget things too. Then again I have always been rather flaky and flighty.

My mom tells me I had a brain infection before I was two. Where I spiked a 106 temperature. Which probably accounts for my cognitive issues.

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 7/10/2018 (00:01)

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7/9/18 3:41 P



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COUNTRYCAROL1,

My family had a party line rotary phone when I was growing up. So, that makes me older than dirt. LOL.

As I have aged, I have tried to do things that would help to either improve my memory or keep my little grey cells from dying off exponentially. I am fortunate to have a very good memory for my age.

SHERYLDS's Photo SHERYLDS Posts: 17,719
7/9/18 3:18 P

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by the next morning I forget 10% of everything I had yesterday and I get 'food amnesia'. What I can't remember doesn't count..
emoticon

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7/9/18 1:12 P

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Archie, There are days if I do not track I may forget the following day everything I ate the day before. As a person ages it can happen. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm guessing you are younger if you can remember 4 days of tracking.



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7/9/18 1:03 P



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Elaine,

When do you have your next physical ? The next time you see your doctor, you should consider discussing your recent memory losses.

Over the past 4 days, I can tell you what I ate for all meals, plus snacks. I remember every morsel I ate.

MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,664
7/9/18 11:08 A

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It's the people who may seem fractious. Who need our love and support the most.



Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 7/10/2018 (00:06)

SHERYLDS's Photo SHERYLDS Posts: 17,719
7/9/18 9:00 A

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I'm sure your boss doesn't see helping a stroke patient as a waste of a day's work...even if the patient doesn't thank her in front of you. Patients go through all sorts of mental traumas that they are dealing with...they don't always behave the way you might expect. That's a sign that someone needs to keep helping them.

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”~Gandhi

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 7/9/2018 (09:02)
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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,070
7/9/18 8:35 A

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My boss told me despite all the stuff she does for this lady, she has never even thanked her! At least I thank my boss for everything and sometimes I give her little gifts too!

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SHERYLDS's Photo SHERYLDS Posts: 17,719
7/9/18 8:01 A

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emoticon emoticon not something I would expect you to say

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 7/9/2018 (08:03)
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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,070
7/9/18 7:30 A

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Sigh! I went for a 36 minute walk because it was so cool after the rain! I wanted to do some strength training, fulling intended to, I even switched on the PC but I saw my dinner on the table and I went and ate.

Too late! Oh well, I have the day off tmrw, no excuses, I will have to make sure I do some ST tmrw!!!

My boss is on leave and also gave me the day off, she is helping a stroke patient ace an interview. I wonder how she can be so kind and tolerant, this particular lady doesn't seem grateful for all the help my boss is giving her......she told me as much. But she said, don't think of it as helping another person but serving the Lord. I just happen to see it differently, why waste a day's work for someone who doesn't appreciate it......

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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,070
7/9/18 6:26 A

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nope, I didn't overeat, I just forgot what I ate! But I didn't have much junk!

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7/9/18 5:31 A



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I take it you were over-indulging food/drink and you weight went up???

Kris

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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,070
7/9/18 2:42 A

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Can you believe I haven't been tracking since Thursday?!

I have been really busy at work, I had no time to go on SP to track. I just plain forgot! Well, I can't remember what exactly I had to eat for 4 days, but I'm back to tracking again starting from today! I will make sure I track as soon as I eat on my mobile. Easier that way!

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