Baked Beans Lover (Can you see it coming?)
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.
One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that th... Read more
This was on the news...not the whole video.
When you get a few minutes watch this video its very funny. Kyrie Irving rookie of the year from Cleveland that played at Duke 2010.
They dress him up in movie make up and make him look like an 80... Read more
1. Marriage changes passion; suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
2. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."
3. I have my own little world. But it's OK, they know me here.
4. Money can't buy happiness, but ... Read more
One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new son.
Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything... Read more
Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings
The American Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause yo... Read more
Helping an Overweight Blonde
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.
The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thi... Read more
Ashes to ashes
A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks... Read more
English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The "friends and survivors" of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors a... Read more
One snowy evening my brother, a regional police officer, stopped a car at a roadside check for drunk drivers. "Good evening, ma'am," he greeted the lady. "How are you this evening?"
"Fine, thank you," she replied.
My brother continue... Read more
Beefing up my efforts at fitness with affirmations..
1. I phrase my affirmations in the here and now: [I am craving healthy nutritious food], so my subconscious knows this is what I want right now.
2. I use the first person, and add my name: [I, Sunshine65, love the way my body feels when I do ... Read more
Man Changes Places with Wife to Show Her What Work is! Ha!
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: 'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to kn... Read more
When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work.
I promptly added: "Send Michelle money e... Read more
HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasion... Read more
A couple in the park...
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing.
"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"... Read more
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I'm passing this on because it worked for me today. A Dr. on TV said to have inner peace we should always finish things we start & we all could use more calm in our lives.
I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished,... Read more