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SBFT84's Blogs

Don't keep looking back
Sunday, August 27, 2017      4 comments

I have started telling myself to stop looking back. When I look at all of my old awards and achievements from when I had started sparks people and had lost over 50 pounds I start to get discouraged. So I tell myself, don't look back that is not... Read more
Rather embarrassed
Sunday, February 01, 2015      1 comments

The silly Sparkers keep posting my weight up and downs, so when I keep losing the same pound I had gained - I get kudos for it! I guess it is better than gaining five or ten pounds, but still... I am so up And down on the scale, and then read ab... Read more
Unrealistic Expectations
Tuesday, November 19, 2013      12 comments

I had a slow awakening as to why I had lost my motivation. It was inside my head, but I refused to listen to it. I was losing weight, feeling great, crossing my legs, walking pain free, joyfully buying smaller clothes... And in the back of my he... Read more
Quietly Binging NO MORE! Going Public..
Sunday, November 10, 2013      8 comments

Enough of the shame and guilt. Hiding out after everyone has gone to sleep, eating junk food is not making me happy, so why don't I just stop? It must be serving some purpose as I keep doing it. Sidelining my weight loss goals and causing my f... Read more
Fall down six, get up seven... But it hurts
Friday, October 11, 2013      1 comments

It sounds so empowering to say fall down six get up seven. But nobody says how much it actually hurts. In the past, I would fall down and I would enjoy the fall and stay down for the longest time until shame and sadness and anger and other negat... Read more
My Diseased Voice
Thursday, October 10, 2013      5 comments

I stole that phrase from a sparker who replied to a blog I follow ! It hit home, as no other. Since my divorce with Shifty, my binge buddy, (he called me last night and AGAIN tonight), I have been keeping a rein on my food and logging each bi... Read more
Change in habits.
Wednesday, October 09, 2013      1 comments

It was a wake up call like no other. I have been searching for motivation all year , trying to find the enthusiasm I used to have for eating lean and healthy. I saw my spark friends losing pounds, running races, doing marathons, upgrading sp... Read more
Closet Eating Wake-Up
Friday, October 04, 2013      4 comments

I was reading a blog about closet eating and it hit me straight in the heart. The gist is: I have been a sneak eater since childhood and the shame has been long, old and deep. I have been binging for almost my entire life and the habit is trigg... Read more
Blog the RAGE, Don't feed it
Tuesday, April 30, 2013      1 comments

OK. I have just finished sending off and emotional e-mail to my insurance carrier, who has lost our papers and is threatening to raise our rates and reduce our coverage if they can not locate the information, which includes health screenings. ... Read more
Being the Alpha Female
Friday, April 26, 2013      3 comments

I was able to cut my calories from 3,545 on Tuesday , to 1454 for Thursday . I am kicking MORE MONSTER butt by tapping into my feminine control issues. If I can name it, I own it. Now that I acknowledge I have been sharing body space with a dem... Read more
Not a pattern of failure, but a pattern of perseverance
Thursday, April 25, 2013      3 comments

I just stole this hopeful saying from another sparker, and it is the mantra for my new focus and faith. Beating the MORE Monster, and finding faith in myself . Trusting that I will not gain back all of the weight I worked so hard to take off ... Read more
Ten pounds later
Sunday, April 14, 2013      2 comments

If not for sparkpeople, it would have been 35 pounds gained, not ten... Before I was able to get some motivation back. I have gone through so much angst. I have been dealing with the external changes of weight loss and loss of invisible -ness... Read more
Teeter totter
Thursday, January 17, 2013      1 comments

I was looking through my pics and I saw that I was three pounds heavier today than I was in August! I am stunned! It is as if I have been doing nothing. I was then mulling over the fact that there were a lot of responses to the Done Girls who ... Read more
Half Way There, but in a New beginning.
Sunday, July 15, 2012      1 comments

Thirty Five pounds of fat burned off of this body, with 35 pounds of ugly fat to delete. I feel better. I hated myself at 201, and finally did something when the scale shot to 209! I have been fat for so long, with periods of thinner but neve... Read more
Change the Home Fire Cooking
Sunday, July 08, 2012      3 comments

My husband has been trained to feed me treats to make me happy. He still wants to feed me treats to make me happy. I had to change my response from happy for the treat, to happy for the love- nix the treat. We had a LOT of conversations about... Read more

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