POPEYETHETURTLE
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POPEYETHETURTLE's Blogs

Antidisestablishmentarianism
Sunday, July 22, 2012      13 comments

John dies and goes to Heaven. He meets St. Peter at the gate and asks him, "How do I get into Heaven?" St Pete: Spell "Love". John: L - O - V - E Pete: That's right, you may enter. John: Boy, that was easy, are you sure ... Read more
Men and Women Are Different
Saturday, July 21, 2012      6 comments

A new sign in the Bank Lobby and at the drive-through ATM reads: ‘Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new faci... Read more
Sweet!
Thursday, July 19, 2012      7 comments

A single woman has identical twins and had to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of h... Read more
Why It's So Hard to Prove a DUI
Wednesday, July 18, 2012      7 comments

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I'm going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that test can set off an... Read more
If the Lord's Flood Came Today
Tuesday, July 17, 2012      5 comments

This a prime example of my sense of humor. It's also a political statement. I know, we "supposedly" have a doctrine about the separation of church and state, but that's NOT what the Constitution says, so I (as a Strict Constructionist) don't fe... Read more
Ecumenical Meeting
Monday, July 16, 2012      4 comments

The below contains a listing of churches. I couldn't list them all, so please don't be offended if your particular church is not included. Please be assured I mean no evil or insult to any church. Can you find yours? Was I close? At the sta... Read more
Parenthood
Sunday, July 15, 2012      3 comments

One of my favorite comedians of all time is Bill Cosby. As far as I am concerned, his ability to be funny without dropping the *f* bomb showed his comedic genius. I read this yesterday and thought I would share it. I'm not wise enough to have th... Read more
The Number One Thing Men Want Women To Know
Friday, July 13, 2012      8 comments

Men’s Rules Men always hear "the rules" from the female side and only after we've broken them. We don't think that's fair. Now here are the rules from the male side. We don’t mind if you print them and post them somewhere, in fact, we hope ... Read more
Top 30 Things Women Want Men to Know!
Thursday, July 12, 2012      3 comments

1. Don't ever lie to us, we always find out. 2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening. 3. Don't say you understand when you don't. 4. Girls are petty, get over it. 5. You don't have PMS; don't ... Read more
Why Combat Vets Have PTSD
Wednesday, July 11, 2012      5 comments

There are a few things guaranteed to strike fear in the heart of even the strongest war veteran on his return to the United States from a tour in Iraq of Afganistan: --a 3-year old who has just begun wearing big-kid underclothes squatted in... Read more
For The Religious - Part I
Monday, July 09, 2012      3 comments

Even those who attend church make mistakes. Some of those mistakes may make prospective members reconsider. Seen on Church Bulletin Boards: -- This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children w... Read more
Just Because You're from New York City .....
Sunday, July 08, 2012      7 comments

A big city lawyer from New York City went duck hunting in rural Missouri. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor... Read more
A Cynic's (Popeye) Definition of A...
Saturday, June 30, 2012      2 comments

Abnormal Occupying a point outside the shifting boundaries of social convention, like a same-sex couple before the 1970s or a twenty-two-year-old virgin today. Others now living beyond the fringe include rhyming poets, English-speakin... Read more
Get a Room!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012      9 comments

A man has been driving all night. He decides to stop in the next town for a few hours and get some sleep. As luck would have it, just before dawn he happens onto a park at the edge of town with plenty of parking. Just his kind of luck, the ... Read more
Dear Lord
Saturday, June 23, 2012      7 comments

WARNING! Groaner! A drunk is walking home from the bar one afternoon, when he happened across a pastor doing a water baptismal in the river. He stops and watches for awhile, and just as he is ready to leave, the pastor calls him into the... Read more

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