POPEYETHETURTLE
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POPEYETHETURTLE's Blogs

A Girls First Time
Friday, June 22, 2012      5 comments

NOTE: If you dare start reading this, you absolutely MUST continue to the end. You've been advised! Assume you are a girl (if you are a guy). It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for ... Read more
Be Careful When You Give Advice
Thursday, June 21, 2012      9 comments

If you have EVER had a migraine, you know that you can barely think and would do almost anything to get rid of it. A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discove... Read more
WARNING: Texas Conservative Written
Tuesday, June 19, 2012      6 comments

General Tourist Information - Dallas and The Republic of Texas I have now lived in Missouri longer than any other state I have lived in (California, Arizona, Utah, Michigan, Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas and Texas). I've also lived here l... Read more
Why Gray Hair Wins Every Time
Monday, June 18, 2012      7 comments

True Story from a Kansas State Highway Patrol Officer: My youngest son was, for a time, a member of the Blue Team in Kansas City, the Kansas City Police Department. Kansas City has the best Rookie training program within about 500 mile... Read more
Stupid Is As Stupid Does
Saturday, June 16, 2012      7 comments

There were 5 people aboard an airplane having engine trouble getting ready to crash; however, there were only 4 parachutes. Everyone wondered what should be done to determine who should get the parachutes. One person said that he was the sm... Read more
Mary Poppins - Food Editor
Tuesday, June 12, 2012      5 comments

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the desk and asked for a room for the night. "Certainly madam", the clerk replied courteously. "Is the restaura... Read more
The Pastor's Ass
Monday, June 11, 2012      5 comments

The Pastor's Ass The Pastor of a small Catholic Church found a baby donkey wandering down the lane leading to the church one day and the little fellow was braying as only a young Jackass can do. The Pastor looked around and could find no... Read more
Need a Tonsilectomy?
Sunday, June 10, 2012      5 comments

Texas Chili Contest, San Antonio Texas. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the thi... Read more
Don't Ask The Question Unless .....
Saturday, June 09, 2012      2 comments

True Story Trying to please one of my wonderful blog followers, I’ve put this tiny portion of my life together as a short story. Many years ago, I was working as a management recruiter and trainer for fast food chain Jack-in-the-Box. I... Read more
Fishing
Friday, June 08, 2012      5 comments

I follow the blogs of other enlightened people here on Spark. This one comes from SparkPeople member GERIKRAGH and I wanted to share. I follow the blogs of other enlightened people here on Spark. This one comes from SparkPeople member GERIK... Read more
When Did You Stop Beating Your Wife?
Thursday, June 07, 2012      7 comments

Have you seen tales on TV involving a lawyer who is just trying to browbeat the witness into just saying "Yes" or "No" to a question that can't be answered with either answer? Not only have I seen it, but I was the witness being questioned ... Read more
Morals
Wednesday, June 06, 2012      5 comments

There was a little boy whose name was Billy. Billy lived in a small town, not to far from a large city. He was an ordinary little boy who did ordinary little boy things, like playing, eating, bathing, destroying things, pulling little girl's pig... Read more
How Much Can One Man Stand?
Sunday, June 03, 2012      6 comments

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop a stunningly beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight black leather mini skirt with matching leather boots and jacket, which was zipped to the exact start of her breast ... Read more
Choose One: Work, or Prison?
Friday, June 01, 2012      5 comments

WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WORK AND PRISON... Maybe prison isn't so bad... IN PRISON You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle. IN PRISON You get ... Read more
Tough Questions Women Ask (and the right answers)
Monday, May 21, 2012      2 comments

The 5 toughest questions women (married or not, live-in, affair, friend with benefits, etc.) ask of their men are: 1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What... Read more

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