POPEYETHETURTLE
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POPEYETHETURTLE's Blogs

License to Carry
Saturday, May 19, 2012      10 comments

A few years ago (actually, near thirty years ago), something very unique happened to me. I was at the gas station, in a HUGE rush, not paying attention to what I was doing. With my head in the clouds, I was holding the nozzle in the tank (... Read more
Herbs Are Very Good For You
Wednesday, May 16, 2012      4 comments

The work of a coal-miner is long, arduous, dirty and quite dangerous. Those who toiled at the Black Gold mine in the Dakota's were particularly cautious about safety. Besides having a canary in a cage, they also planted an herb garden, for... Read more
This One Ends With a Twist
Tuesday, May 15, 2012      5 comments

A piece of string enters an old-fashioned pub and orders a beer. The barman says “Look pal, it’s nothing personal but we don’t serve string in here, we had some trouble with some twine last year”. “Fair enough” says the string and he leave... Read more
Two For One
Monday, May 14, 2012      4 comments

Today is just one of those days when my long term thinking process has a short fuze and I can't seem to remember any of my usual dry, long jokes. So today, I'll give you two short jokes as a trade for one long joke: A business man was ... Read more
I may Be Crazy, But I'm Not Stupid.
Saturday, May 12, 2012      3 comments

NOTE: I suffer from Chronic Depression, among some other psychiatric problems, so I am NOT making fun of people who are afflicted with Any mental disabilities. Sometimes, we act like other people, some of us still maintain a high operating capac... Read more
Just Slap Them All Silly
Friday, May 04, 2012      5 comments

Politics is so overwhelming at this time of the fourth year that I had to do some research to find out exactly what was the difference in each "-ism". This is what I found: FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. ... Read more
Being Rich & Unintended Consequenses
Wednesday, May 02, 2012      5 comments

Deep in the darkest jungles of old time Africa there were two tribes and they hated each other. One tribe lived at the foot of a massive mountain and they panned for gold in the river and mined for gold in the mountain. They were RICH! The ... Read more
Birds! Hitchcock Missed this One
Tuesday, May 01, 2012      6 comments

While in the Army, I took leave and went to England to see the sights in London - and honestly, to sample some of their famous beer. While at one of the pubs close to the hotel I met an Englishman, Jameson Smythwick, and his wife Mable. At ... Read more
Pythag0ras
Sunday, April 29, 2012      4 comments

This is an oldie - first told to me back in the last century by my Advanced Algebra teacher. Chief Bearclaw had everything a chief of the Native Americans could want... except a son and heir to follow him. So he went to the medicine man ... Read more
Rattlesnakes
Saturday, April 28, 2012      8 comments

I have to tell you the story of one of my late friends, who I think of as one of the best men I've ever known. His mother was into the drug scene in the early 60s; consequently he suffered from some horrific birth defects (which bothered him un... Read more
Climb the Ladder to Success
Thursday, April 26, 2012      4 comments

Note: BE WARNED, there is a pun at the end. I would rate it as an X. My Grandson would probably rate it PG-13, but times have changed. There are NO off-color words (the Spark censor would surely bash me for this one). I would not tell this joke... Read more
You Want to Go to Hell?
Monday, April 23, 2012      5 comments

Sam Clam and Larry lobster were the best of friends living at the bottom of the ocean. They were practically inseparable, which explains how they both got caught in a lobster trap together and died together. Larry Lobster found himself at t... Read more
Curiosity Made a Monk One Day
Sunday, April 22, 2012      3 comments

A traveler was headed down a lonely road when it began to rain. Luckily he happened upon a monastery just off the side of the road. He knocked on the door and was greeted by one of the monks. He asked if he could stay the night, to which the mon... Read more
Cat Tales
Saturday, April 21, 2012      5 comments

My uncle lives next door to a crazy cat lady. This woman has tons and tons of cats, but her favorite cat is this ugly little hairless cat that follows her around everywhere. One day my uncle was using a weed eater on the edges of his lawn w... Read more
Bingo with Grandma and Grandpa
Wednesday, April 18, 2012      9 comments

Bingo Callers have pride in their work. Who knew? I didn't - that is until I met Gérard Leahey, Bingo Caller. He started this career innocently enough, when called upon in grade school to call the numbers in the bingo based game that is sup... Read more

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