POPEYETHETURTLE
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POPEYETHETURTLE's Blogs

The Governor, the President and the Pope
Tuesday, April 17, 2012      5 comments

This morning, I got a call from an old buddy from my Army days. Levine, geez I hadn't talked to Levine in years. You know Levine, right? Of course you do. Everyone knows Levine. There was this one night when Levine was out at this bar.... Read more
Oh, chicken feathers!
Monday, April 16, 2012      5 comments

Long ago there were two brothers Hing and Ming. One day their pet chicken fell ill, began to molt, and soon lost all of its feathers! The brothers decided to each spend two months trying to cure the chicken. Hing immediately went back to th... Read more
What's Wrong With a Strawberry Ice Cream Cone
Sunday, April 15, 2012      8 comments

One of my neighbors had a teen-aged son, Joe, who, in addition to the jobs he gets mowing lawns in the summer and shoveling snow in the winter, also gets a small allowance for doing "chores" around the house. At the beginning of last summers he ... Read more
Copper or Silver
Saturday, April 14, 2012      6 comments

There was this Subway Conductor whose wife wanted him to make more money, so she requests that he steal a penny for every dime that he makes. Paycheck comes and he steals a penny for every dime that he makes. Wife says "Great! We're going to buy... Read more
Need a Podiatrist or Psychologist?
Wednesday, April 11, 2012      8 comments

Joe "Flighty" Moth goes into a podiatrist's office. The doctor asks the moth, "What seems to be the problem?" The moth says, "Doc, I don't know where to start. I feel like my whole life has been a waste of time. I've been at the same job fo... Read more
Humble Beginnings
Saturday, April 07, 2012      8 comments

Shortly after Sonny Bono's untimely demise, I was having a drink with my friend John, a highly respected Superior Court judge. He had been an excellent trial lawyer and had quickly advanced, been chosen as a county judge, then appointed by the G... Read more
No respect for Employee of the Month
Thursday, April 05, 2012      4 comments

While I still worked, I was guilty of having what y'all have learned is my out of balance sense of humor. One day, late for work already, I was annoyed to find a strange car in my reserved Employee of The Month parking space again. Af... Read more
A Silver Lining in Every Cloud
Monday, April 02, 2012      6 comments

The President was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely to contain himself, "there's good news and bad news." Thinking of all the things that could have happened i... Read more
The Things That Happen on St. Patrick's Day
Sunday, April 01, 2012      4 comments

An Irishman, by the name of O'Mally, proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't re... Read more
Life Is Never Slow in the Fast Lane
Saturday, March 31, 2012      4 comments

I thought I had finally found a way to convince Trudy, my continually harried friend, that she needed to find ways to relax. I invited her to dinner and, while I was busy cooking my famous beef stroganoff with brown and wild rice, she ag... Read more
And That is What She Thinks About That!
Friday, March 30, 2012      2 comments

A little girl, having committed some small offense, was made to eat dinner alone, at a little table in the corner of the kitchen. The rest of the family was paying her no attention until she began to pray in a loud voice, "I than... Read more
A Long Way From Town
Wednesday, March 28, 2012      5 comments

Dismalus was the latest figure to arrive at Hades. Charon, the ferryman across the River Styx, threw questions at him hard and fast as he made his way across. "You threw the javelin for Sparta, yes?" and... "Did Runacoris finish the m... Read more
April Fools Day is Coming. Let's Review
Tuesday, March 27, 2012      7 comments

April Fools Day is quickly approaching, so I wanted to give everyone a little heads up. Don't trust anyone and watch your back. April Fools Day has been known to affect people from the famous to the infamous, rich or poor, quiet or outgoing... Read more
This Winter has Been Mild, But Last Winter?
Sunday, March 25, 2012      5 comments

My wife and I were coming back home from Oklahoma, where we had been visiting relatives. The weather had been pretty awful all day long and the road we were traveling on was lonely (and there was an NFL Conference Final on). You'd think I w... Read more
Not Sure I Want to Live There
Saturday, March 24, 2012      9 comments

A panda walks into a diner, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots out the restaurant's windows. As the panda stands up to go, the owner shouts, "Hey! Where do you think you're going? Yo... Read more

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