POPEYETHETURTLE
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POPEYETHETURTLE's Blogs

A Quote from Moses
Friday, March 23, 2012      11 comments

A visiting minister was very long-winded. Worse, every time he would make a good point during his sermon and a member of the congregation responded with "Amen" or "That's right, preacher" he would get wound up even more and launch into ano... Read more
Lost Day
Wednesday, March 21, 2012      6 comments

I got up this morning, had breakfast and went to my computer room to enter my meal. The computer kept crashing, and since I use Mozilla for my browser, I tried to uninstall it. No, it wouldn't let me do that. Fine, I'll just shut you d... Read more
Stay on Point!
Monday, March 19, 2012      4 comments

My brother and I are twins - he just waited 2 1/2 years to follow me out. He claims he was being cautious - I claim he was waiting to see if the lions ate me. We look alike (he once fooled a bartender at a club I belonged to and put drinks ... Read more
She Was Really Sweet and Had a Great Personality
Sunday, March 18, 2012      7 comments

Many years ago, when I was much younger and still single, I decided to go over to my girlfriend's duplex. It was a hot and humid July afternoon when I drove into Susie's drive-way. Susie was really sweet, had a big heart, a dynamite p... Read more
Have Faith in Yourself!
Saturday, March 17, 2012      6 comments

The judge was disturbed. This was the ninth time this year that George had appeared before him and the ninth time he was convicted. It was always for minor crimes, shoplifting a six-pack of beer, pick-pocketing, breaking into a parking mete... Read more
Shake, Rattle and Roll
Thursday, March 15, 2012      6 comments

Last year when the big quake hit the L.A. area, part of the damage included the totaling of a car belonging to a tourist who had driven in from out of state. When he put in the claim to his insurance company, they rejected it. When asked w... Read more
A Little Dog, Not Too Shaggy
Wednesday, March 14, 2012      4 comments

"A woman, carrying a small dog in her arms, boarded a bus New York at 72nd Street", said a writer in the 'Evening Post' "and earnestly clutched at the driver as she boarded and implored him to tell her when they reached 42nd Street." As she... Read more
Another Religious Post - But Atheists or Others Can Read It, Too
Tuesday, March 13, 2012      9 comments

I seem to have a two day run going - but it's just coincidental. I hope I don't get blasted for being blasphemous. Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by St. Peter at the Pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," St Peter ... Read more
Do You Believe in the Power of Prayer?
Monday, March 12, 2012      8 comments

This may not meet everyone's definition of a joke. If it does not meet yours, consider this an exercise in the ironic. There was a small town that had historically been "dry" (no alcohol sold), but then a local businessman decided to bui... Read more
Food & Health Tips from Spark
Sunday, March 11, 2012      4 comments

Rebuttal by Madelyn (with apologies to Chef Meg and SparkPeople.) Chef Meg: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. Madelyn: Buy mashed potato mix. It keeps in the cupboard for up to a year. ... Read more
There's Something Missing in Your Diet
Tuesday, March 06, 2012      3 comments

As we all know SparkPeople Coaches teach us to eat varied classes of foods (50% carbohydrates, 30% fat and 20% protein). The proof of what happens when you don't have a healthy diet is in the following: An acquaintance went to his doctor an... Read more
From the Atlantic to the Pacific
Monday, March 05, 2012      6 comments

I didn't get on the computer very early today, but when I did I found this story. A good story, a bit long, with a surprising ending. During the days when Native Americans were being forcibly and systematically removed from their ancestr... Read more
An Attraction Too Strong to Resist
Sunday, March 04, 2012      7 comments

So this moth goes into a podiatrist's office. The doctor asks the moth, "What seems to be the problem?" The moth says, "Doc, I don't know where to start. I feel like my whole life has been a waste of time. I've been at the same job for twen... Read more
If I Tell You, I'll Have to Kill You
Saturday, March 03, 2012      4 comments

While standing watch in the Coast Guard station in Juneau, Alaska, my nephew got a call from the Navy in the nearby city of Adak. They'd lost contact with one of their planes and needed the Coast Guard to send an aircraft to help find ... Read more
A Drunk and a Horse
Friday, March 02, 2012      4 comments

One of the things I enjoy in my life is help other people relax, smile, and even to occasionally laugh out loud. I'm Not a Comedian, nor do I write for one. However, like you, I get emails from my friends that occasionally make me laugh. ... Read more

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