A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover.. She goes to a f... Read more
A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and
more frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex. She
wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual
relationship,and finally decided to ... Read more
There were two nuns
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man... Read more
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads ... Read more
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys ... Read more
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eg... Read more
10 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC.
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You sh... Read more
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I ca... Read more
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.K. newspaper:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
... Read more
The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full
swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling
the men how to give the necessary help and assurance to their partners... Read more
EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER
MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM:
'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it.
I'm scared. I think ... Read more
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here
and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when i... Read more