At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
“The man I marry must be a shining light in the crowd. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. Entertain. And stay home at night!”
... Read more
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted.
She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond ear-rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach and a gold Rolex.”
The confused artist said, “But you’re not wearing any... Read more
Two high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes.
After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said: “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart ... Read more
So after landing his new job as a Walmart greeter, a good find for many retirees,He lasted less than a day.
About two hours into his first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, ... Read more
Cooter & Gomer
This was sent in my Email this morning. I thought it was funny.
Cooter and Gomer
died in a fire and his body was burned pretty
badly. The morgue
needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his
two best frie... Read more
A man always wanted to go sky diving but was never able to gather the courage. He goes to the airport and inquires about what is involved in the jump.
The manager explained the procedure to him: “We are expert chute packers and have never h... Read more
A man’s wife had just bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
She sat in front of the mirror for what had to be hours, applying the “miracle” products.
Finally, when she was done, she turned ... Read more
Attorney Phone Call
New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector
called his client.
"Saul, I have some good news, and I have some bad
art collector replied, "I've had an awful day.
Give me the good news
firs... Read more
The Matchmaker goes to see Mr. Avery, a confirmed bachelor for many years. “Mr. Avery, don’t leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you’ll meet and be married in no time!” says the Matchmaker.
... Read more
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock, brought out a ... Read more
Big man in a Small Town
Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but bu... Read more
Am I a multi tasker or lost
This is not a joke, for those of you who expected one.
My plan for today was to take it easy or flea market or something like that.
Bill, my DH got up and said let's stay home I have a few things to do in the garage.
Ok then. I wil... Read more
A little boy was sitting outside a store eating one snickers candy bar after another, when an older man walked up and said, "You shouldn't be eating so much candy, it'll rot your teeth, it's just bad for you to eat so much candy."
The littl... Read more
Here is the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than do the British or Americans.
The French e... Read more
Last Page »
One tough Lie
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the ... Read more