ILOVEROSES
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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

A rookie police officer was going for his first ride.
Tuesday, March 02, 2021      15 comments

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a c... Read more
An efficiency expert was giving a lecture.
Saturday, February 27, 2021      24 comments

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home.” “Why?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at dinner for years,” the expert e... Read more
A man is driving down a country road when his car breaks down.
Thursday, February 25, 2021      27 comments

A man is driving down a country road when his car suddenly breaks down. He pulls over and starts to look under the hood when he hears a voice from behind. “Looks like your timing chain broke.” He turns around and is surprised to see a ... Read more
A Texan rancher was visiting an Australian farmer.
Wednesday, February 24, 2021      27 comments

A Texan rancher was visiting an Australian farmer. The proud farmer showed him around. “Here is where I grow tomatoes, cucumbers, and pumpkin. Over there I built a play set for my kids, next to the doghouse,” the farmer said. The land was t... Read more
A couple find that their car has been stolen.
Sunday, February 21, 2021      30 comments

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene o... Read more
A millionaire decided to throw a massive party.
Friday, February 19, 2021      28 comments

A millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, and during the party he grabs the mic and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. “I wil... Read more
A man was dragged to a concert by his wife.
Thursday, February 18, 2021      26 comments

A man was dragged to a concert by his wife. A half-hour after it began he felt an elbow nudge him in the side. “What an outrage,” his wife murmured. “The person in front of us is asleep!” Her husband replied: “You mean, you woke ... Read more
A woman called the police about a potential break in.
Tuesday, February 16, 2021      29 comments

A woman called the police about a potential break in. When they arrived, the policeman was checking around the home for clues. As he entered the main bedroom, the policeman said to the lady of the house: “This is the messiest room I ... Read more
A woman dialled the wrong phone number.
Monday, February 15, 2021      29 comments

A woman meant to call a record store but dialled the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she asked. “Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven c... Read more
A man sees someone sending out Valentine's Day cards.
Sunday, February 14, 2021      29 comments

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter systematically pasting “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying sce... Read more
Couldn't resist.
Friday, February 12, 2021      26 comments

1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson. 2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled. 3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move. 4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm. 5. If you’re bad ... Read more
A farmer was driving along the road with fertiliser.
Wednesday, February 10, 2021      26 comments

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertiliser. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called out: “What’ve you got in your truck?” “Fertiliser,” the farmer replied. “What are you going to do with it?” ... Read more
A drunk stumbled into the bar.
Monday, February 08, 2021      24 comments

One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: “Drinks for all are on me including you, bartender.” So the bartender follows the man's orders and says: “That will be $50 please.” The drunk says he has no money so ... Read more
A man runs urgently to the doctor.
Sunday, February 07, 2021      29 comments

A man runs to the doctor and says: “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!” The doctor asks: How long has she had this condition?” “Two years,” replies the man. “Then why did it take you so long to come and... Read more
A man entered a busy florist.
Saturday, February 06, 2021      29 comments

A gentleman entered a busy florist shop displaying a large sign that read: “Say It With Flowers.” “Wrap up one rose,” he told the florist. “Only one?” the florist asked. “Just one,” the customer replied. “I’m a man of few words.” ... Read more

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