20,000-24,999 SparkPoints 22,819


Constant Anxiety and Self-doubt
Tuesday, October 04, 2011      25 comments

I haven't been sleeping well for weeks. I keep waking up in these fits of panic but have no idea why. Almost like I feel like someone is watching me. Yes, there is some life stress like having to have the clutch done in my car but that hasn't b... Read more
Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts Why regain hurts the most
Thursday, September 29, 2011      41 comments

This is something I have been thinking a lot about lately. Why we quit as soon as we make a mistake and it is so hard to get back on track. After a lapse in my vigilance and then an unexpected illness I found myself having regained 22 lbs. That ... Read more
"Ranking" my sparkfriends
Wednesday, September 28, 2011      34 comments

Last night I was looking at my sparkpage and something really bugged me. I hate the ability to "rank" my friends. It feels very childish to me. The reason I gave in and did it at all was I wanted to be able to actually find the people I interact... Read more
Made a self-discovery
Tuesday, September 27, 2011      12 comments

I keep trying to figure out why I self sabotage. I get super into healthy eating, lose weight, have great results and then slowly start to spiral back down. Why? Then I caught myself being angry that I am calorie counting and putting a lot of th... Read more
You are what you eat
Thursday, September 22, 2011      22 comments

Last night I had to attend one of those industry networking events that is truly the worst part of my job. Let's feed a bunch of restaurateurs and food snobs horrible hotel food and be fake nice to each other. Fun. What was fun was that the EcoC... Read more
Back to blogging
Wednesday, September 21, 2011      12 comments

I have been very inconsistent with my blogging mostly because I got tired of being lectured by people who knew nothing about me and stopped by, read 2 paragraphs and decided they knew about me in my life. One too many suggestions of therapy or h... Read more
I cried outside the gym
Tuesday, September 20, 2011      41 comments

Today was the first day I was allowed back to the gym so this morning I excitedly packed my gym bag and headed off to work. When my fiancé saw the bag in the back I saw a look of pride in his eyes that made feel like a million bucks. He loves wh... Read more
Am I happy?
Sunday, September 18, 2011      12 comments

This is a question I have been pondering all week. What is happy? Well my definition anyway. I have been in a funk since vacation feeling like I am in a holding pattern. Waiting for surgery, waiting for when I could get back to weight loss and w... Read more
Facing low self-esteem
Wednesday, September 14, 2011      31 comments

There is never a day I wake up and feel beautiful or special. Ever. Having a hot fiancé doesn't help. Deep down having someone that attractive want me made me feel special but it did and still does make me feel inferior. That people look a me li... Read more
Being the person I want to be and new boot pics!
Sunday, September 11, 2011      42 comments

When I started on SP I think the biggest lesson I learned was that I needed to live the life I want to have, not live waiting to have that life when I was thin. Once I started living for myself in the moment I became a happier and more confident... Read more
Normal now and normal back then
Friday, September 02, 2011      27 comments

Yesterday I heard the pop of a can of soda in my office and immediately thought. Who would be drinking a soda? Then I realized, I am one of the only people in the office who doesn't guzzle diet soda. I don't guzzle any soda for that matter. I ha... Read more
I am angry
Sunday, August 28, 2011      27 comments

I am angry that I finally got everything going in the right direction again and was being consistent and I am having it ripped out from under me. Again. It isn't right or fair. I am angry that have to go through all this. That I have to go to wo... Read more
Illness and a change in priorities
Friday, August 26, 2011      56 comments

I haven't been feeling well most of the summer. I also despite actual serious effort have not been able to lose any substantial amount of weight. We decided to return early from vacation so I could take some tests and we received some very upset... Read more
Today, I put myself first
Friday, August 19, 2011      36 comments

We leave on vacation first thing tomorrow morning. Because I am from this area vacation planning etc is always left up to me as my fiancé doesn't know where everything is and I have always let it be that way. I like to make plans and itineraries... Read more
Arrogance can be dangerous
Wednesday, August 17, 2011      40 comments

I was reading a blog today that really annoyed me. I am not going into to details because I truly believe everyone is entitled to their opinion whether I agree or not. However it made me think of this blog so something good came from it. Arrogan... Read more

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