20,000-24,999 SparkPoints 22,819


Feeling Desperate
Tuesday, August 16, 2011      21 comments

I haven't felt desperation in awhile. It feels strange and unfamiliar. Like being in someone else's body or the uncomfortably snug jeans that fit just a few months ago. This is standard protocol for me as I attempt weight loss. Now before som... Read more
4th straight week of consistency
Monday, August 15, 2011      26 comments

I am proud to report I have kept up with all the goals I set 4 weeks ago about being consistent. I have worked out a minimum of 3 days, most weeks 4, every week. Both strength training and cardio, as well as some ab work etc at home. I have brou... Read more
Something amazing happened to me today
Sunday, August 14, 2011      21 comments

We stopped for coffee on the way to drop my fiancé off at work this afternoon and for the first time EVER I had zero urge to order anything. Baked goods are my weakness. Especially muffins and donuts. I rarely eat donuts anymore but even when I ... Read more
Why my new name?
Thursday, August 11, 2011      27 comments

I have never been someone who could come up with a cute screen name for anything. Never. Sometimes I read people's choice and I am amazed at their quick wit or how they identify with a part of their life so strongly. Our names say a lot about wh... Read more
I missed me
Wednesday, August 10, 2011      34 comments

I realize this morning that as I struggled and floundered I was missing something. Me. I liked the new Ashley. The person who was taking responsibility for my health and fitness. Who was finding joy in healthy eating. As I got more out of shape ... Read more
Negativity and food
Tuesday, August 09, 2011      18 comments

I never understood people's adverse reactions to food as a child. I ate what I wanted and never had a filter of what was too much. Luckily I was very active so I maintained a healthy weight. Then after my accident I gained an enormous amount of ... Read more
Following through
Sunday, August 07, 2011      20 comments

I am proud of myself for setting goals and sticking with all of them this week. Today starts my third week of working out consistently. I even went on Friday night because I knew we were going out to dinner and I wanted to make sure I got a work... Read more
Respecting and appreciating myself
Thursday, August 04, 2011      21 comments

Several months back I remember there were a few days where there was a lot of debate about "ticker honesty". Whether it mattered and how accurately people kept it etc. I remember one woman's comment which has bothered me since that time because ... Read more
My first big setback
Monday, August 01, 2011      46 comments

When I started this I swore this wouldn't happen. I think we all do. I was not going to regain a pound and truthfully I had that intention. Then I got tired of the struggle and I stopped tracking, stopped weighing myself, stopped caring. Stress ... Read more
Getting a hobby (other than eating)
Thursday, July 28, 2011      28 comments

As a child I loved art projects. My mother could never keep enough of those books that you just paint with water and they make paint on the page in our house. Finger painting was my ultimate joy, much to my parents dismay ... Read more
A change in attitude and consistency
Wednesday, July 27, 2011      27 comments

My biggest battle with my weight? Consistency. I am all or nothing all the time. If I start the day off making poor nutritional choices I let it carry throughout the day. If I skip a day at the gym it snowballs into weeks. Self sabotage com... Read more
To do list
Thursday, July 21, 2011      31 comments

I have lost my way and getting it all back together is about returning to what works for me. Packing my breakfast and lunch everyday. When I control what I eat and how it is prepared I lose weight, period. No more excuses Finishing th... Read more
What I learned on vacation
Wednesday, July 20, 2011      25 comments

I learned that all the ups and downs of the last year were worth getting to this point. The fighting, the tears, the highs and the lows. I am able to live a normal life now and I am no longer afraid and stuck on the sidelines. I learned that str... Read more
Mourning my boobs
Sunday, July 17, 2011      40 comments

One of the first places I noticed the weight loss was in my chest. At 345 pounds I wore a size 46/48 E. I was in denial they were that big and wore bras too small and had major spillage. Part of my size denial was not buying bras in the correct ... Read more
Vacation is coming and remembering why I am doing this
Thursday, July 07, 2011      38 comments

Tomorrow at 5 PM I am officially on vacation. To say I am excited would the understatement of the century. The last truly significant time off I had was my grandmother's death and then before that a week off last summer. I NEED A VACATION. My ho... Read more

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