250,000-299,999 SparkPoints 290,084


Speeding Ticket Excuse--For Us Oldies
Monday, June 20, 2011      7 comments

Best speeding excuse ever! When asked by a young patrol officer "Do You know you were speeding?" This 83-year-old woman gave the young officer an ear to ear smil... Read more
Friday, June 17, 2011      6 comments

Next week will start the 100s that the central valley of California is known for. I hate the heat but will manage to get through. Exercise might go down the tubes. I didn't do any last summer. I'm trying to walk early, but not like 6 or 7. ... Read more
Exercising vs. Stretching
Thursday, June 16, 2011      2 comments

Until Sparkpeople, I didn't know the difference between exercise and stretching. I always did stretching and called it exercise. I would try to touch my toes standing, I would sit with my legs spread and try to touch my head to my knees or my... Read more
University Farm Store
Wednesday, June 15, 2011      4 comments

Our local university, which is less than a mile from my house, has their own farm store. They pick their own crops, produce their own ice cream, milk, and cheese, make wine, jams, syrups, and sell flowers. I took the grandbabes today and we g... Read more
Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity (funny)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011      5 comments

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1..In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana. 2. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 3.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 4.... Read more
Enjoy Life While You Can
Monday, June 13, 2011      4 comments

One day I had lunch with some friends.. Jim, a tall, balding golfer type about 80 years old, came along with them---all in all, a pleasant bunch. When the menus were presented, we ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups, except for Jim... Read more
Proud of Myself
Thursday, June 09, 2011      6 comments

I am 65 years old and a complete techno idiot. I can work the computer pretty good but that's about all. I have an I-phone but can only use a few features. I got it mostly so the grandchildren can play with it while waiting or in the car. I... Read more
Tuesday, June 07, 2011      8 comments

Quote of the day: 'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, s... Read more
Wine for Senior Citizens
Monday, June 06, 2011      5 comments

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people... Read more
GED Test Results
Friday, June 03, 2011      4 comments

The following questions were asked in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds')............and they WILL breed. Q. Name the four seasons. A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of t... Read more
Why God Made Moms
Thursday, June 02, 2011      4 comments

Why God Made Moms Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out o... Read more
Don't Ever Question a Drunk
Wednesday, June 01, 2011      11 comments

Don't ever question a drunk... I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk A carton of eggs A quart of orange juice A head of lettuce A 2 lb. can of coffe... Read more
The Difference If You Marry A Canadian Woman
Tuesday, May 31, 2011      6 comments

Three friends married women from different parts of the world..... The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see ... Read more
The Bathing Suit (Joke/Or not!)
Monday, May 30, 2011      15 comments

The Bathing Suit (by a middle-age woman unknown) When I was a child in the 1950s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was-boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift... Read more
Friday, May 27, 2011      2 comments

I received 8 small 1/2 pints of fresh-picked blueberries yesterday and I'm down to 4 containers. The grandchildren took one look and dove into them. I happy though, because they love their freggies. It's not something they get a lot of at hom... Read more

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