Fear and the slippery slope...
Sunday, October 17, 2010      1 comments

This is hard for me to write. I am avoiding writing it right now, I can feel it. See, I want to fight you on this premise. Every fiber of my being is bristling at the idea that loving guidance and kind discipline are MANDATORY in leading a healt... Read more
How I got to this team...
Saturday, September 11, 2010      4 comments

I wrote this to Julia in response to someone on another team telling her she was doing it wrong and that she probably wasn't ready for intuitive eating. I was quite angry and it pushed a lot of buttons for me. The good that came out of it was ... Read more
Saturday, July 25, 2009      1 comments

I am struggling with my summary for Geneen and Loren for the in between. I have been having a lot of subconscious stuff come up in dreams. Vivid and specific dreams. A lot of stuff revolving around my father, tho he is never actually in the drea... Read more
Eating meditation and bread epiphany
Sunday, May 24, 2009      2 comments

So, having a weird experience right now. I realized I was hungry while I was doing my hair but cannot get a number on the hunger scale. Mainly because I am having some HORRIBLE cramps. No period, just cramps and this is about the time of the mon... Read more
Sunday, March 29, 2009      0 comments

OK, so here it is...this is what I heard throughout my childhood: Do better than me, outshine me, be more valuable than me and I will leave you. Seems ridiculous now. But back then, as a child, a really really bright child, a child n... Read more
Happy Birthday!
Sunday, March 01, 2009      0 comments

I have been in a PISSY mood the last few days and today it hit me. I am happy. I mean genuinely content with my life as a whole. Even with the work mess, it has given me the gift of self actualization. I am worth more than what these guys... Read more
Sunday, February 01, 2009      3 comments

This whole ordeal with my partners was a set up for me to embrace the victim/martyr role. They were presented a scewed portrait of reality that painted me as a trouble maker, pot stirrer, unprofessional meddler and drama queen control freak. T... Read more
Unconditional love and acceptance...FINALLY
Friday, November 28, 2008      3 comments

I have been having wierd responses to Kaarin and Rob's posts. The "two Denises" in my head are gearing up. When I read about anyone being on a "plan" I have 2 very distinct responses. I have noticed I have a knee jerk response that I ha... Read more
I was seen
Sunday, September 28, 2008      1 comments

I am done. She has this retreat which is 24/7 immersion into the process for 5 days at the end of the month. I want to go. A woman here who went (the one I had dinner with last night) went and said it was life transforming. So Geneen did a gener... Read more
Food is my drug of choice.
Sunday, September 28, 2008      2 comments

My heart is racing and I am in full on panic mode and have done everything in my power to avoid dealing with this but am now reluctantly just going to feel the feeling and after I write this will go journal about the color and shape and presence... Read more
Breaking free workshop
Sunday, September 28, 2008      0 comments

Still present at the Geneen Roth When Food is Food and Love is Love workshop. Absolutely fell apart last night. Not in a bad way but it was the hardest longest cry I have had in decades. I feel a lot better for it this morning. She is an ama... Read more
Hard memories
Sunday, September 14, 2008      3 comments

I am in a REALLY bad place right now. Remembering a LOT of stuff from my childhood that is really upsetting me. Not even trying not to eat. Just trying to let myself feel it. Even got on the scale yesterday to try and distract myself and t... Read more
Friday, July 11, 2008      0 comments

This was posted as a response to Kaarin but I think I need to remind myself of the same thing when the going gets tough. Go out TODAY and buy Why Weight. It is her book based on her workshop. It is a work book. And you work. I have been dev... Read more
Dad crap
Sunday, June 29, 2008      1 comments

I am going through ANOTHER transition with this mental change. I am wanting to eat again and trying to convince myself it is my ONLY option to feel better. I will try and explain here more for myself than anything but it feels like there is so... Read more
Eat to avoid anger
Friday, June 13, 2008      0 comments

I am so pissed. I realize that I was never able to express anger as a child. It was totally against the rules in my house. I wasn't entitled. Now I feel like I am angry a lot of the time and I want to eat to avoid feeling it. I am so pissed... Read more

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