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BLUEROSE73's Blogs

I can't believe I almost...
Tuesday, September 27, 2011      10 comments

texted Terry again this morning. My last text to him was Saturday early in the day. No communication since. Except for my returning his stuff and that letter... I can't believe I almost ruined all my progress away from him by texting. I... Read more
Thank you ... and an update
Tuesday, September 27, 2011      5 comments

First off, thank you to everyone who reached out to let me know I am not alone here. It really did help. All your good thoughts and prayers did reach me. Thank you Last night I took the box I packed up with all of Terry's stuff back to h... Read more
Help. Need to know I'm not completely alone right now.
Monday, September 26, 2011      31 comments

Because it sure feels like I am. My heart is broken. I know I have to go through the grieving process. But it's only been made worse by the hateful things Terry's done in the past week to me. I feel so humiliated. Used. And jus... Read more
Today's Reflection - What do you stand for?
Monday, September 26, 2011      0 comments

Stand for something or fall for anything. - Anonymous What do you stand for? Have you ever thought about the power of having a purpose? Everyone needs something that gets them moving in the morning, keeps them going through the da... Read more
Today's Reflection - All things pass eventually
Monday, September 26, 2011      1 comments

Sweet, sour, bitter, pungent, all must be tasted. - Chinese proverb All things pass eventually Have you ever heard the concept of "seasons" in life? It refers to an idea that nothing in life lasts forever, and with time, all t... Read more
Weekend Update... not very good.
Monday, September 26, 2011      1 comments

Well, the information about Terry going to Regina for the weekend was a lie. So was so much more. Terry was telling me I was welcome on the farm. In fact, he was inviting me to go. And then he'd go home and tell Harry - his room mate -... Read more
Pro's and Con's... emotional stuff to work through
Wednesday, September 21, 2011      1 comments

Okay. I miss Terry. I admit it. But I really missed him these past two weeks. But it wasn`t my doing that took him from me. Drugs? Someone else? Stress? Okay, I know what it was now. Yes, he was thinking of going back to Cheryl. I ... Read more
Dazed and Confused... more emotional stuff.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011      0 comments

I am seriously dazed. And a little confused. Last night I went to Tammy's. She kept insisting she didn't need help, but I went anyway. As soon as I got there, we left. She was so embarrased that she wanted to run, so we ran. St... Read more
Just feeling a little lost today
Tuesday, September 20, 2011      5 comments

Okay. Again, I'll tell you right off the bat, this has nothing to do with fitness, nutrition, or stuff like that. This is another working through my emotional crap in order to keep my own mental health blog. Sorry If you've been reading ... Read more
I never thought I'd see the day... more emotional stuff you may want to skip
Tuesday, September 20, 2011      5 comments

I spend the day yesterday in a bit of pain - from over 2 hours in the dental chair. But also because of the text Terry sent me first thing in the morning. But I refused to respond all day. About 8pm he texted and asked if I just didn'... Read more
Okay. He's a manipulator
Monday, September 19, 2011      6 comments

And I'm not going to take it anymore. Yes, I texted him this morning. BUT it was in response to his text. He got back to me, and I ignored it. Well, I didn't really ignore it. Just didn't respond. I need to keep moving away fro... Read more
So confused right now... Terry just texted me....
Monday, September 19, 2011      3 comments

I was feeling good. Even like I could dance again soon. Okay, I was still swinging to sad at times, but it was getting better. I made it about 36hours without textiing Terry. I was feeling strong. This morning I sent out all my good... Read more
The first 24hours is past...
Monday, September 19, 2011      3 comments

I haven't texted Terry in over 24hours. The last text to him was Saturday afternoon. Last night was hard, but I kept myself distracted. Texted lots of others. Focused on the beginning is going to be the hardest. And it was. But I... Read more
Just more figuring stuff out ... Emotional stuff you may want to skip
Sunday, September 18, 2011      5 comments

Last night I got a text message from Harry - Terry's room mate. I guess Terry came home drunk on Friday night about 4am and they talked. I mean really talked. And Harry brought me up. I guess I was right. Terry felt I was stalking him w... Read more
Today ... just quiet, sad contimplation
Saturday, September 17, 2011      2 comments

I finally got it yesterday. When I would text Terry and tell him I miss you, he'd hear where are you and why aren't you here with me. When I'd say I hope to see you later today, he'd hear me demanding to know where he was every minut... Read more

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