Sunday, January 27, 2008
Thinking...always a dangerous activity...that last bit I wrote about weight and flab not being the "enemy"...that's true. Neither is "food" the enemy. It is a gift from a good and gracious God, to be enjoyed and benefited from. I thought of this this morning as I fixed Blueberry Cream Cheese Blintzes and coffee for myself for breakfast. This is not a "diet" option, necessarily, and over and above that, I did not have a "gluten-free" recipe for crepes until this week, so although this is a luscious treat I used to love, I have not had it in nearly two years. I did not use "low fat" products...I hate them, hate them, hate them...so the caloric intake on this little luxury was sizeable. But, oh, my goodness! Did I enjoy them!!! I was nearly weeping with pleasure and gratitude. And that's when it hit me. I truly was thankful! I had a choice in this matter. I could eat the blintzes, be truly joyful over getting to do so, and move on into my day without beating myself up in guilt and regret. I accepted that this will not be an every day/every meal indulgence, but that it was, none-the-less a real gift to me for this moment of this particular day. I don't have to have all the lbs. off by tomorrow morning, for Pete's sake! If I continue to steadily, consistently pay attention to a generally healthy, well balanced diet of adequate, but moderate caloric intake, along with the amount of exercise my body will allow me to habitually tolerate, I will make the progress I am capable of making. That is all I can ask. The main point in all this is to find God's stability and joy in the journey.
I say "stability" because it is so easy to soar to peaks of giddy determination and hope over successful efforts only to crash on the rocks of grim despair when I enter another health relapse phase and find that I am once more in a state of forced convalescence and recuperation. Pacing is paramount. And gratitude over even indulgences is part of that. When I accept such a luxury as a gift rather than as a foe to be beaten back, I acknowledge that God is a God who wants me to succeed at being the unique individual He has designed me to be. I accept that He has placed me in a world full of lovely gifts...including delicious food...I realize that He desires that I learn to discern among the potential choices for good, better, best, or "Nope, not even remotely acceptable" that exist for me, and I accept responsibility for my choices and responses. I also stop fearing "deprivation" and am thus, less likely to feel "compelled" to "gobble and stuff" myself with every opportunity. If food is a gift from a God who desires to supply me with all of it that I need, then I don't have to eat it every time I see it as though I will never see it again! Sigh...I do that, you know...the buffet line at parties and restaurants, for example...holiday gatherings, etc...."Oh, my goodness, this looks so good, and I don't know if I'll ever be faced with such abundance again, so I'd better take advantage of it!" Do I really need to sample 3 varieties of chocolate truffles along with the brownies, 4 cheese balls, the crab and shrimp dips, those spicy Cajun sausages, both potato chips and tortilla chips, 4 kinds of crackers, with guacamole, salsa, and ranch dip, (let's eat the fruit and veggie crudites for good behavior...) the nut sandies, 2 kinds of punch, the pecan pie squares and lemon squares...!!! It'll all be here next year (count on it) but I may not be if I develop diabetes and hypertension from the added weight!
So right now, I'm delighting in the fact that I got to sleep in this morning,,,even though it's Sunday, and I would normally join friends at Church...(another story for another day) and that I had a special treat for breakfast. Now I'm on into my "normal" day, and having been allowed to feel it, think about it, and record it has hopefully worked the lesson into the fibers of both body and spirit. I think I'll be more likely to retain it now. Amen!