Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I just had to copy this from MF's blog entry of 1-21-08...it is a very beautiful and insightful paragraph about the lessons learned in being still enough to truly listen and see the passages of our lives. She wrote:
"I think the manzanita trees have something to say to me. I've
been talking with them. I've been very quiet and listened to them.
Something about rootedness, and growth, and change, and how
life and death are both beautiful, and blessed, and I can hold and
love all the changes, the grey worn, the black death part, and the
red, red deep color of the pushing and growing and life that bursts
in to the vibrant green at the top, and I am trying to feel it, and live
it and love it all."
Glenn tried to teach me this, but my panic drowned his voice and all voices of "stillness." So I am taking time to listen to my life...and to my body as it rearranges its hoarded stores of fat in a last desperate effort to fend off the change I am asking of it. It thinks perhaps that if it shifts them around enough instead of simply dumping them, I'll get discouraged in my pursuit and just allow them to remain until they can drift back to their original lowland berths that mire me in the mucky sucking silt of inactivity again. But I also refuse to be driven into frantic battle against the lbs. That would exhaust and defeat my forward movement. Baby steps, if need be, but I will keep moving. The weight...and even the flab...is not the ultimate enemy. Ingratitude to God and unbelief of His desire to make my life a work of His love...that is the enemy.