When good plans go bad... Christmas Eve
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
I had a food-stress experience yesterday that was strange for me. The problem is, I wasn't even aware of the positive choices I was making, so I don't know how I did it! I didn't even connect the dots until I was writing in my journal today.
Yesterday was Christmas Eve Day, our big family celebration - and all our plans fell through. First, my kids couldn't come over in the daytime to share our day with Kaile (DH's 3-almost 4-year old grandbaby), who was to come over for the day. That was sad, but I knew we'd see them at my MIL's for an early dinner and the evening together.
I still had the day with Kaile. I had such great fun planned! We were to bake a birthday cake for Jesus - Kaile and I picked out the decorations at the store together, and she was going to really help me make it and decorate it herself.
(DH Bob was going to take 15-year-old grandson AJ out to get his present together, and choose a video, and he was going to hang out with us for awhile too.)
Then we get a call early in the morning from my stepdaughter, saying her mom, my husband's ex-wife, wasn't going to work after all, and SHE wanted Kaile and AJ for the day. So not only is my husband's ex-wife coming to my MIL's and joining in OUR family's dinner and Christmas celebration, she gets the grandkids all day too?
The last three times she was supposed to babysit, she cancelled at the last moment and left her daughter in the lurch. Between my MIL and myself, we covered and took care of Kaile. Now she steps in and just gets what she wants?
DH didn't fight it at all - I mean, we could at least have had Kaile for the morning... (DH did take AJ out to the skateboarding store, but he didn't come here as planned.)
I was on the verge of tears most of the day, wiping away the leaking wetness off my cheeks and taking deep, deep breaths to calm down. I completely crashed emotionally and felt like my Christmas was being ruined.
I did force myself out of bed, and sat in the living room. I read the newspapers and did paperwork - I had already spent time late the night before on Spark and reading/sending emails, so I didn't go on the computer.
However, I also didn't "eat over it" - didn't try to, or even want to! I was focusing on my feelings, and trying to sort them out, so I could face being at my MIL's that afternoon. I WAS going - I wouldn't let anything keep me from being there and sharing that special time with Kaile - but I knew that emotionally I was facing a BIG challenge.
I DID it. I went, I had a good time, and all my usual food issues didn't loom over me and ruin it for me! That's a step in the right direction, right?!