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Faith & fear cannot live in the same house ....

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I received distressing news last night from the dentist with an even more scarier and disturbing price tag for services to be rendered in 2008. I rarely feel like a victim anymore -- and yet, last night, I admit to feeling a bit picked upon, as I crazily attempted to process and wrap my mind around the enormity of the work required on my lower teeth -- and how I was going to create $30,000 for said work. I "allowed" myself a short respite from life -- a pity party, if you will, to feel everything I needed to feel. This behavior is a detour from the days of my youth when I can honestly remember weeks, months -- and yes, even years-- when I sadly lived my life in my victim hood -- unwilling to accept the responsibility of what was going on -- of my own creation 99% of the time. I gratefully heard my own voice and words last night: "faith and fear cannot live in the same house..." I know if I am fearful, I cannot walk in faith -- and, I also have not truly turned my life over to the Universe to do His work -- which is my Life's Purpose. To live an authentic, enlightened life that I have consciously chosen to live, I have to be honest and I have to accept responsibility for my life -- and all that that entails. I am humbled and grateful today for having a husband who loves and adores me after almost 33 long -- and always too short years --- a man named Earl, who with great wisdom and insight, knew all along who JoannieB was truly all about -- long before I ever had a clue .. I honor you today, Mr. Earl ... for always believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself. I love you.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh, hugs to you, Joannie. I'm so sorry. That isn't anything that anyone would want to go through,and I honestly can't believe anyone would hold it against you for having a pity party... yay for Mr. Earl being there - I admire you guys so much. Lord knows it's not always easy or fun. Your attitude is amazing, and I just know that this will all work out. I'll take a step with you in faith - us girls can have no fear together... :) Hugs my dear, you're such a sweetheart and truly a blessing in many of our lives. (((((J))))) PS - I'm subscribing to you...keep us updating on what's all going on. You're a fantastic writer, and it's truly a joy to be included in your life like this.
    4262 days ago
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