halfway to... where, exactly?
Thursday, November 08, 2007
So today is a good day. I got on the scale and I've hit 145 lbs--just past the halfway point to my goal. Such a good feeling! It feels like it's been too easy so far; I keep wondering when the challenges will come.
Today also makes a month that I've gone without a binge. That's way, way longer than I've ever made it while trying to lose weight, and again it seems too easy! I find myself feeling like a disaster is looming, sticking my arms out in front of me like I'm going to run into something in the dark.
Why can't I be more positive? Why can't I just say, "Yay, I'm halfway there and this is easy--I must really be mastering this"? Instead I second-guess and doubt, sure it's an accident. Maybe it's all the frustration I've experienced in the past, trying to lose weight. I've always hit roadblocks that killed my motivation, and I think I've come to view them as inevitable. I think I expect to always find an insurmountable obstacle that will make losing weight impossible. Maybe it's how I've justified my failures.
But I know in my head that every positive day is another good step, and a bunch of success in a row predicts more success in the future. So I'm trying to stay positive, celebrate my successes, and see beyond the next ten pounds to a successful lifestyle to follow.