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Friday, November 02, 2007

I've discovered that I keep planning on living in the future- when I accomplish my goals. I know I have to change my mind set. I need to live in the now and make every effort to have the life that I want at this moment. I joined a tae kwon do class a couple weeks ago. Yesterday I was kind of forced to be singled out- which is something I avoid like the plague. I like to be the girl in the back ground. The girl that usually is an observer and not seen. It is my comfort zone. But since my fiance and I are the newbies to the class we are being given special attention to learn the basics. The instructor took notice that I wasn't "keahing" loud enough. And took time to make sure that my voice was heard. I am quiet by nature- so it was hard for me to get out of this comfort zone. But i did manage to break out a little. The difficulty in this for me made me realize how I really am limiting myself by not trying to change these insecurities with myself NOW. It is ok for me to be heard and seen. I need to stop caring so much about what people think of me and start doing things for me. I worry too much about embarrassing myself or not being good enough- and people judging me. I just need to be comfortable in my own skin- and who I am now. Everything else will follow. It will take time, but I think by taking advantage of the empowering opportunities life throws at me- I will overcome it. :D
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