So sad...

Monday, October 29, 2007

I came across this picture from last year's doll show. How sad is this? Sad that I looked the way I did, sad that I felt the way I did. I couldn't even force much of a smile to hide how I was feeling. I hardly know who that person is, but still, I don't want to forget her because I never want to be her again.
The last couple of weeks I've had to deal with an older woman at the gym. I made the mistake of being honest when she asked how much wt. I'd lost. When I proudly said, "over 100 lbs.", she reacted in shock by saying (loudly), "how in the world did you even move when you were that big? Or did you?" I was so embarrassed. Then about a week later, here she comes into the gym again. Gets on the treadmill next to me and after the obligatory greetings, asks how much I've lost now. Stupidly, I answered 105 lbs. She turns to the man on the treadmill next to her (it's a small town and they've all known each other all their lives) and says (again), "I don't know how she even moved at that size!" Again, humiliation. As if that was not enough, later on, she was trying to whisper to my mother, who went with me to work out, "why did she let herself go and get so big??" Of course, I could hear her from the other side of the gym. Mother didn't hear her the first time and asked her what she said. I wanted so badly to have the courage to say loudly, "Mother, she asked you why I was such a fat slob".
I know I'll run into her again. I hope, finally, to be better prepared for her next time. I want to have the assertiveness to say, "you know, my goal is to be healthy and I don't think I'm nearly as interested in my numbers as you are."
Initially, I thought "I'll never again tell anyone how much weight I've lost". Maybe, I'll only tell fat people LOL. I don't want to give ammunition to a smug, skinny person so she can feel self righteous. Maybe this happened for a reason. Maybe I need to learn to be more assertive and not be left feeling like a doormat.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You have done amazing. Be proud.

    I don't share my numbers in the world. There seem to be far too many insensitive unthinking comments from people out there.

    You will continue to lose the lbs and be happier and healthier.

    People who don't know better, don't care about other's feeling etc, well they may never improve.

    4914 days ago
    Don't let her take away your smile, don't let her take away your pride at all the hard work you have been doing, and don't ever feel like you owe her a explanation. Some people take great pleasure in other peoples misfortunes.. I have found that life is short and I just don't have time to waste on people who really don't matter to me.
    Hold your head up high and be proud that you will never be the petty person that she is. Take comfort in that. You are a work in progress and your life is about so much more than a number. Next time you go in to the gym why don't you take a MP3 player and listen to some wonderful music or a ebook and enjoy your time there. Knowing that you are doing your best and achieving your goals is a wonderful thing and you should be so proud of yourself.
    Hugs to you,
    4917 days ago
    Sammi, You look great!!!!! We will always run into people like her but you know what I say when I do. "IT"S BIGGER THAN THEM" In other words they can't control themselves for what they say and do. Ofcause I quietly say it to myself not thembecause i'm better than that type of person. You look great girl!!!!!!!!!
    4920 days ago
    Sammi--I am SO proud of you and for all that you have done. Life is a journey and I truly believe that people who have never been overweight don't understand those of us who have. I'm not saying that they don't try, but the sensitivity to our weight issue is way overlooked. Do they think we don't know that we are overweight and that we realize it is difficult to do some things that are a breeze for them to do?! You just keep going girl and continue to melt away! I am behind you 100% and you should be proud to tell people how much weight you have lost! It's a great feeling--please don't feel embarrased--you deserve to feel great! I love you and admire you and all that you have done to become healthier and happier. Take care! Kathy
    4920 days ago
    My favorite comment when people are rude or nosy........."It's too bad that you're so busy minding my business that you can't mind your own!" Stops them in their tracks every time. Hugs, Shirley
    4921 days ago
    Most people wouldn't be so rude but unfortunately some people aresimply insensitive. I think most people would simply congragulate you on doing so well. Next time she trys something similar, I would still politely tell her how much I'd lodst, but I'd be waiting (anxiously because I like payback) for a meanly similar response. My reply would be Well I moved and worked enough to lose ---lb; isn't it a shame you can't do anything about your mean mouth and your bad manners. You're obviousoly still stuck with them.

    If your too kind for this; at least try thinking it

    4921 days ago
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