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I'm moving my ticker... : (

Thursday, September 13, 2007

I am finally facing the scale again after weeks of "forgetting" to weigh in at the start of the day. I've weighed the last few days, and the numbers land pretty solidly up about five pounds from where I was before the cruise, and two pounds up from before the wedding.
All the emotional and physical upheavals have made it difficult for me to be consistent. Or is that blaming the circumstances, and not taking responsibility for what I should have done? After all, life is usually a series of changes and challenges, and I have to learn to deal with these things as a normal part of life. Wait - is it to be "learned" or is it simply TO BE DONE?

I've thought over the last several weeks, and I have to state, these were extraordinary circumstances: completion of arrangements for my daughter's wedding, and sudden forced move because of our crazy landlady, all in the less than two weeks' time after we got back from the cruise to Cabo.
However, it has been over three weeks since then, and I'm still struggling every day, like I'm back on day one... How can I NOT remember to go on SP when I'm floundering? A "victory" has become when I DON'T binge on 3000 calories of crap. A victory is NOT doing something self-destructive. I feel emotionally paralyzed, so I'm rarely able to finish ANY of my tasks, both with my SP plan and with my responsibilities in life.
Okay, I'm going to let myself off the guilt trip, and mark this as a reasonable (re)starting point. In the past, one of these - what would you call it? "setback," "mindless living," "down cycle" would have led to at least ten, more likely 15 to 20 pounds of weight gain in just a few weeks' time. Without SP, I'm sure that would have been the result of these last few weeks too.
So, today I am facing reality, moving my ticker to an accurate weight, and working toward a new weight loss goal.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    The honesty is healthy and you are here blogging about what you are going through so I say you are doing your best! Our best is different at different times and under different circumstances. Keep up the good work of coming to spark and take baby steps to getting back on track. :)
    4236 days ago
    Sweetie... you are stopping and facing the facts before you have gotten more then 10 lbs off track... and it seems like you have kept it to reasonable level in spite of everything when in the past it sounds like you would have gotten so much more out of control... thats a victory... treat it as such and just start again
    4238 days ago
    wow, it sounds like you feel you've hit alot of set backs in your journey here in SP. You sound quite overwhelmed emotionally, even though the major events have passed by.

    Perhaps a good step in getting back on track would be making some SMALL commitments, both towards weight loss and some inner stability and peace. A walk can both serve as a way to get some exercise in as well as some time to yourself to relax and be with your thoughts. or just focus on getting back to those small goals, like getting in 8 glasses of water. when you are overwelmed, it helps to break down those larger goals into bits so you don't continue to voerwhelm yourself. and as you reaccomplish those smaller tasks, you can move on to larger tasks.

    Even if you aren't doing EVERYTHING you feel you should be doing, doing one or two things, like drinking water and walking or something is in improvement to your health!

    I hope you can find some peace over the next few weeks. :)
    4238 days ago
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