I'm moving my ticker... : (
Thursday, September 13, 2007
I am finally facing the scale again after weeks of "forgetting" to weigh in at the start of the day. I've weighed the last few days, and the numbers land pretty solidly up about five pounds from where I was before the cruise, and two pounds up from before the wedding.
All the emotional and physical upheavals have made it difficult for me to be consistent. Or is that blaming the circumstances, and not taking responsibility for what I should have done? After all, life is usually a series of changes and challenges, and I have to learn to deal with these things as a normal part of life. Wait - is it to be "learned" or is it simply TO BE DONE?
I've thought over the last several weeks, and I have to state, these were extraordinary circumstances: completion of arrangements for my daughter's wedding, and sudden forced move because of our crazy landlady, all in the less than two weeks' time after we got back from the cruise to Cabo.
However, it has been over three weeks since then, and I'm still struggling every day, like I'm back on day one... How can I NOT remember to go on SP when I'm floundering? A "victory" has become when I DON'T binge on 3000 calories of crap. A victory is NOT doing something self-destructive. I feel emotionally paralyzed, so I'm rarely able to finish ANY of my tasks, both with my SP plan and with my responsibilities in life.
Okay, I'm going to let myself off the guilt trip, and mark this as a reasonable (re)starting point. In the past, one of these - what would you call it? "setback," "mindless living," "down cycle" would have led to at least ten, more likely 15 to 20 pounds of weight gain in just a few weeks' time. Without SP, I'm sure that would have been the result of these last few weeks too.
So, today I am facing reality, moving my ticker to an accurate weight, and working toward a new weight loss goal.