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It's time to get back on Track... I miss my mom.. but I must stay healthy

Sunday, August 26, 2007

IT's hard... I wake up each day and have to remind myself that I cant' call and tell Mom good morning , as I've done for the past 10 years.. We used to talk several times a day, and each day started and ended with a phone call to each other. Even up to the last couple days before she passed.
I spent every day with her this summer and watched her slip away from us. We had always been positive about her illness hoping it would get better. But we had to relize that it wasn't. I had to tell my Mother she was going to dye. IT as very hard. The last week of her illness, she started seeing angels and relatives that had been deceased before her. It was very comforting to me actually.
The last thursday before she died was very "odd". She wasn't responding to anyone but me. And she said she loved me and wanted to make sure I'd be ok. I left around 8pm that night and went home. Around 10pm, something came over me and I just started bawling. I got goosebumps and I knew she was gone. I waited and waited but no phone call to confirm. I called the center and they said she was still holding on, but was unresponsive & coma like. On Friday & Sat... she did not respond at all. IT was like her spirt left Thursday.. but her body kept hanging on. My brother came that sat afternoon to say goodbye. She passed a couple hours later.
This is the first time I"ve been able to write this much.. but i wanted to share it with all my friends here.
My life will be a struggle for awhile, but with your help.. I"ll pull through.
I will take it day by day.
I really want to be healthy. That is my ultimate goal. I want off of blood pressure med's.. and I want to look healthy .
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