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A Bit Of Lightness...........

Monday, June 21, 2021

*(Paraprosdokians is a figure of speech in which the latter* *part of a sentence is unexpected and often times very humorous)*

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me very attractive.

The colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you,

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I'm great at multitasking, I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

Take my advice---I'm not using it.

Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.

If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
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