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Sunday, June 13, 2021

This weekend was a weekend of emotions. There were some high points spending the weekend with the grand kids. And low points with seeing how cancer is affecting Brad these days. He is always smiling and trying to keep up a schedule of a normal healthy person, and
not wanting to deprive his kids of anything. Having 20 kids over was so refreshing to see all the activity and energy of the kids. This was both at the pools and at Brad & Kati's house. Most were so polite and respectful to us old folks. But dealing with 20 yelling 6 year old is a bit much. Emerson and Reagan were wore out at the end of the day.

The trip was made harder since Margaret is still non-weight bearing on her ankle, and doesn't seem to realize that putting weight on the heel is the same as putting weight on the ankle. I didn't want to go because there are 4 steps in Brad's house and there is no other way in the house. So she hopped down the steps on the heel and I hope she didn't do any damage to it. We did skip church as I was tired of getting the scooter in and out of the car. and there are three steps to get into his church. I hope God forgives us. Back at our parish at home, we were celebrating our 100th year since the church opened. Naturally, this was the weekend that they didn't want to cook anything and we ate out, so it was bounce up and down the steps and the scooter in and out of the car. The things we do for love.

But this weekend I have seen first hand how the disease is ravishing my son. Although, he will never complain and puts on the happy face all the time, I can see what it is doing. The new regiment they have him on, is tearing his stomach up. He says he is constipated for two days after treatment then on the third day, it all opens up. Yesterday at t-ball his colostomy bag blew. I was so embarrassed for him. The game had just started and he was heading to the bathroom and it just blew. I had just turned and saw what happened and told Kati, I would take him home to clean up. Emerson didn't see us leave, but got upset when he realized we were gone. Brad then opened up to me about all the side effects he is going through. From swollen ankles, to losing all hair on his body, the fatigue, and trying to do everything for the kids. I told him they are doing too much. Both kids are in day camp. Emerson is also taking piano lessons two nights a week, and now swimming one night, and has t-ball practice one night and a game each Saturday. I told him they are doing too much especially with both of them working full time. But he told me he wants the kids to have a full life, and I could read the unsaid words "as long as I am here." And when I saw the pills and supplements he has to take. I thought I was bad. I suggested going out and bringing food back to the house for dinner but they insisted on going out. As soon as we got home last night,he crashed. I could tell he was very tired and sore. He says that he is having bad back pains, and his legs are bothering him. I so wish I could take his pain away. But he always has a smile on his face. I lost it yesterday while we were talking, and here he was calming me down.

Good thing is they are coming to St. Louis in two weeks, for his best friends home warming party. He said that he wants to meet us for lunch before they go back home over at Chris's restaurant , I think mainly to see Chris. They talk and facetime, but haven't really spent any time with him since he was diagnosed. At least that cuts the time down that we see each other.

Well tomorrow is my birthday. Will work, have to go get my driver's license renewed, just another day.
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