BEESHELL8
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints 43,501
SparkPoints
 

How I'm doing, how it's going

Saturday, May 08, 2021

This is my take on that popular Instagram meme - how it started, how it's going.

How I'm doing - is not great but okay today. I started to write here a few days ago, and never finished. Just as well. It was a blog reflective of my mood, mindset, feelings - negative, discouraged, and sad. I was able to process some stuff with my therapist on Thursday and get some better sleep, so that has helped.

I've been struggling with the medication that I'm on to prevent a re-occurrence of breast cancer. The side effects I've been experiencing are muscle aches (normal), trouble sleeping, and irritability. I think those last two go together but my oncologist told me those aren't typical side effects. Well, I have been climbing the walls for the past few weeks since I first started. My poor husband has been the recipient of my short temper and general annoyance at everything he does, including walking, talking, breathing. I did warn him; I could tell right away that I was experiencing some mood changes. I have a followup with the oncologist on Monday so hope to discuss further. I am a bit better the past 2 days. I changed the time of day when I take it and perhaps the SEs are wearing off the longer I am on it.

Another factor that has probably influenced my mood is being disappointed by several friends. No point in going into detail; I was just surprised at the lack of support while I was going through all of this. I mean, not even a text, a card or a call. Neither live close, but we've known each other for a very long time. Another friend informed me she has no intention of getting the vaccine. I'm not surprised but it has created a wedge between us, for me. I guess that all that has transpired over the past year - the pandemic, the election, and the issues of racial justice - as well as my own personal health issues - have made me re-think who I spend my time and energy on. I don't have a lot of it.

I am participating in one virtual event, which has been fun. There's a different course along the American River Parkway each week, and the main draw has been finding new trails and places to explore. I've been doing it with my husband and another friend. It was exciting that I saw runners doing the American River 50 miler this morning, as the route goes along our regular walking trail. It looks like the Western States 100 mile Endurance Run will take place, and I'm set to volunteer again at Mile 80. We are planning on meeting some of Ken's cousins in Tahoe in June. So there is definitely more to look forward to this year than last.

I also applied to be part of an adult fitness class for cancer survivors and that will run through the summer. Good timing, as my art class is over next week. I sure have enjoyed it! And plan on practicing during the summer months.

We are back to watching the Handmaid's Tale which is great. We finished Borgen, also fantastic, but we are running out of things to watch! There is some really bad stuff on Netflix and Amazon. I'd rather read. I have read about 20 books so far this year. I recently read www.amazon.com/B
etween-Two-Kingdoms-Suleik
a-Jaouad-ebook/dp/B07T3XHR
VC/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&gcl
id=CjwKCAjw7diEBhB-EiwAskV
i144495RexRSysU3K6n8aOCYgo
Zp-alYomk4Q5EgVgFYo14qvkE5
GWBoCvtwQAvD_BwE&hvadid=24
1898542533&hvdev=c&hvlocph
y=9032467&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e
&hvrand=121241065873888289
37&hvtargid=kwd-7790318097
&hydadcr=22560_10346221&ke
ywords=between+two+kingdoms&qid=1620513440&sr=8-1
which was incredible.

We are doing a bit of yard work but probably no garden. Too much work and water given how little success we've had!

Hope you all are well, healthy, and thriving. Thank you for reading.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • WATERMELLEN
    So sorry about the side effects --- from the meds, from all that's going on around you (or NOT going on around you, aka "support") as well.

    Therapist: good. Art class: good. Exercise program: good. Getting out in nature: good. Reading: good (although gotta say, even as a proud Canadian and fan of Canadian literature I could not either read OR watch Handmaid! Enough apocalypse in real life thank you!!)

    You are doing absolutely everything for yourself for your good that you can.

    Cancer is life changing for sure and made me also rethink many of my values including who I wanted to spend time with and what I wanted to spend time doing. As you say, we don't have a lot of time and energy: none of us do I suppose, including those who don't have cancer . . . But those of us who have, come smack up against realizing just that.
    41 days ago
  • BUTTONPOPPER1
    I'm so sorry you experienced the side effects from your medication. Combined with all the public distress we've all been through this past year, all your private suffering could not have come at a worse time, when you can't really get together with others or distract yourself by doing many things outside the house. And I remember that you were very upset when people didn't follow corona virus protocol at the supermarket, so it was nerve-wracking to go out. In my humble opinion, that might have something to do with your inability to sleep very well--it's just been a hard time in every way, and I'm sure it's been very anxiety-inducing. I hope that despite the annoying side effects, which you say may weaken with continued use, your medication brings you comfort and some confidence that the cancer will not return. So sorry you had to go through this, and that you found that two of your friends were not as supportive as you had thought.

    But you sound so good as you look forward to your volunteer work and the fitness activities your area offers! In spite of it all, there's that indomitable spirit, and I hope you're proud of and encouraged by that! I'm inspired, Betsy!
    emoticon
    41 days ago
  • ERIN1128
    I'm so sorry you're not getting the support you deserve from all your friends. I hope you feel better soon, and thank goodness you have things to look forward to now!
    41 days ago
  • ONEKIDSMOM
    I've been dropping, adding, dropping the various streaming services as things I want to watch are exhausted. I've been toying with picking up Hulu again just to get Handmaid's Tale new season.

    I'm sorry that you haven't had the support you deserve as you're going through tough times. And glad that side effects might just be settling down. I'm feeling a tad guilty that maybe *I* should have sent a physical card, since I have your address around here somewhere! Yikes! In fact, I'm pretty bad at that sort of thing... and abashed because my son's girlfriend's parents sent me a mother's Day card. I haven't got a mother's day physical card in the mail since I was pregnant with him 37 years ago! And I haven't sent one, either, in about that long. I was more a "call your mother" on Mother's Day kind of daughter.

    But some folks (and you are one of them) are far better at the social graces, and it's just "not fair" when it's not reciprocated. Been thinking about you a lot, but it needs to get surfaced so you KNOW I have! emoticon Many wishes for improving health and recovery come with this little comment!
    41 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.