250-499 SparkPoints 334

I am wondering if I should be here.

Monday, May 03, 2021

I am not sure if my soul and heart are ready to be here. I have the skills to lose weight. Education in the Culinary Arts, military physical training regiments, the mindset to ignore physical pain if need be to press through some barriers. However, my mind and spirit are not in it. At all.
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  • -POOKIE-
    There. I tempted fate.

    Fell (tripped over little one who tripped!) on way back from collecting my little one. I have to think I have to be less hurt than if I had fallen when 30lbs heavier.
    42 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    It's a super cliché but you need to find your why.

    The reason I stay even after things like the last 3 days when I more than ate my feelings and threw all my plans into shortbread shapes, scones and cream and chocolate eggs... Is that I'm scared.

    Scared if I don't keep some sort of eye on things I will be beyond help. Hurt myself and be too big to recover. Fail my children by being absent from life in general due to weight.

    I keep trying to maintain habits even when the depression is a focus instead.

    Because I am scared at what happens if I don't try at all.
    43 days ago
    I hope you feel it soon.
    44 days ago
  • no profile photo MLR_00
    You know what to do
    44 days ago
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