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jokes and review of march goals and April goals

Thursday, April 08, 2021

My goals for March were lose weight I now weigh 174.6 what is a gain of about 5 lbs It all the meals people been giving us since the death of my mom and BIL.
I not eating when I get up in the middle of the night -I am doing pretty good on this.
trying to drink at least six cups of water a day I am working on this
Exercise every day at least 10 min. My back been hurting so I haven't been doing this.
My goals for April are
lose weight I now weigh 174.6
not eating when I get up in the middle of the night
trying to drink at least six cups of water a day
Exercise every day at least 10 min.

Funny Exercise Jokes and One-Liners
Need exercise? Yoga class is great. You can close your eyes and imagine yourself in a relaxing place. Like on your couch not doing Yoga. -
The Gym has no confidence in me. The first machine the health club put me on was the respirator

My exercise club can get extremely busy. If all the exercise machines are in use, I usually wait in the snack bar and have a chocolate sundae until it’s my turn.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them

I joined a health club on an exercise special, I spent about $39 every month and haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up?

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I don't jog... it makes the beer jump right out of my glass.

Does running late count as exercise?

So does that mean that being part of the human race does not count as exercise?

Calories (noun); Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night -

The Doctor has told Will that he should start a fitness programme.

........and Will, not wanting to harm his old, rather corpulent, body, has decided to put the following weekly regimen into practise:

Day 1

Beat around the bush several times
Jump to conclusions all the time
Climb the walls
Wade through the daily paper from start to finish

Day 2

Drag my heels constantly
Push my luck all the time
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head regularly

Day 3Funny Workout

Bend over backwards
Jump onto the latest bandwagon
Run around in circles all day

Day 4Funny diet quotes

Advise the Prime Minister how to run the country
Blow my own trumpet constantly
Pull out all the stops for just today
Add fuel to the fire

Day 5

Open a can of worms
Put my foot in my mouth regularly
Start the ball rolling often
Go over the edge in the evening

Day 6

Pick up the pieces
Raise the roof
Lift a pint many times
Skip the washing up

Day 7

Kneel in prayer
Bow my head in thanksgiving
Raise my hands in praise
Hug and cuddle someone and encourage them
What an amazing workout!
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