Thursday, March 18, 2021
I had a particularly bad day today. Not bad in the sense that something horrible happened but I am so worn out and tired and in pain. Plus the emotional pain of this year is wearing me down.
I moved closer to be with my family after my husband died last year only to see them less than when I lived 4 hours away. I have friends who have died, friends who are still recovering, a young niece who is a doctor in the midst of things and people are so cavalier about it all. It makes me very angry.
I eat my emotions and eat from loneliness and eat because I am bored. The scale is a reminder that this year has effected me even though I didn't get sick. I wash my hands , wear a mask, stay away from people, shop early, order on line, and deal with the loneliness by watching tv and eating. I am in pain from injuries so even the thought of walking and exercise makes me want to cry. Too much pain to get a decent night's sleep and no energy during the day. I did get my second vaccination this week so maybe some of this tiredness will get better but I think it is also just a sign of mental fatigue.
As bad as this sounds one saving thing is my dear Spark
family. My teams are my friends. I wouldn't know where I'd be without them.
So many times I've wanted to throw in the towel. Quit. Just give up but oh boy I know things will be ten times worse. So I blog about it instead of eating and I join the 5% Challenges and Biggest Loser Challenges to keep connected and focused on a healthier life style.
I hate to complain and put things out there but maybe someone else will read this and know they are not alone. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you all well. Hugs,