PCOH051610
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Repeat after me: there is nothing wrong with me

Tuesday, March 09, 2021

Hello,

The idea for this blog came to me just a few minutes ago as I was making Happy Tuesday comment on a team thread. In fact, I'm going to copy and paste what I wrote so you all get the gist of what I was saying.

"I got up this morning and decided it is going to be a great day! Yesterday wasn't my finest hour when it came to eating healthy unless of course Jersey Milk bars are suddenly full of vegetables and good for me! emoticon

Wanna know how many I ate? Hmmmm, let's just say they come in a package of 4 and John ate 1!

What is wrong with me!"

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

The long and short answer is: there is nothing wrong with me! I'm human and I have struggles with emotional eating.

REPEAT AFTER ME: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

Now, if I'm honest, and I look back upon yesterday with wide-opened eyes AND an open, accepting mind I can see where things went awry.

I didn't eat my full breakfast because I was caught up in an on-line meeting. Truth be told, I could have turned off my camera and eaten a piece of fruit or a handful of nuts! emoticon

Lunch time, I did have my normal oatmeal filled with nuts, seeds, blueberries and a pear. emoticon

I "only" went for a 2 km walk yesterday. Instead of patting myself on the back for getting out and walking for 2 km all I could do was hear my own voice say "that's not very much exercise". emoticon Lesson learned: every bit counts! emoticon

Then I had to run a bunch of errands for my mother (stressor) and during which time a package of Jersey Milk bars jumped in my cart. emoticon NO!!!! I made a conscious decision to put them in my cart knowing they are my favourite treat.

Then after dropping the things off to my mother, I got home to have her call me to wonder why I didn't get this and that for her. I was frustrated. emoticon

I put steaks in a marinade and made a broccoli salad emoticon before collapsing in my chair and covering up with a blanket. I literally fell asleep for a couple of hours and when I woke up John was home. We figured it was too late to BBQ so instead of having a lighter meal, I grabbed the chocolate bars...And then I ate, ate and ate! emoticon

The good thing in all of this (because there is always a lesson to be learned if you keep your mind open) is the next time not to put a package of bars in my cart when I am stressed. It didn't help the stress!

I am human - I am going to mess up. I have a ways to go in the journey towards self-acceptance and being my own cheerleader but I am miles ahead of where I was a year ago!
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