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jokes and positive changes

Monday, March 01, 2021

I borrow this from Latisha:

What do you think your life would be like if you didn’t have anxiety or depression? •
I would be more loving,

What do I need more of in my life? •I need more friends.

What positive changes have you made or experienced in the past year? month?week? •
In the past years I have learn to put God first. In the past month I learn to handle my feeling about
mom death. This week I learn to accept what God will do with my BIL. Dan is still in the hospital
fighting for his life. He have covide.
Write about one thing that you look forward to every day. • I look forward to seeing Jeanne
Write about something that you forgive yourself for.
I forgave myself for not crying at mom death. I learn each of us grieve in different way.

• Write about at least 3 things that help you feel better when things are difficult.
a. seeiing Jeanne my sister family
b. spending time on spark
c. watching tv

What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

One of the great ironies of life is by the time you retire and are able to sleep late, you are to old to be able to sleep late.

Did you hear about the man who slept under an old tractor? He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, “Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.”
“I know” said the man, “but I can`t. My wife refuses to sleep alone.”

Did you hear about the parents who called their baby “Caffeine?” It kept them awake all night!

Why it is that the one who snores always goes to sleep first?

Insomnia is what you have when you lie awake all night for ten minutes!

Husband: “Honey, I have terrible insomnia.”
Wife: “If you go to sleep, it won’t bother you!”
Insomnia is the triumph of mind over mattress

Whiskey may not cure your insomnia, but it makes staying awake much more pleasant.

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody but one girl laughed uproariously.
"What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?"
"I don't have to laugh," she said. "It's my last day."

Food Allergies
A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets.
Someone asked her what the bracelet was for and she replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs."
The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?"
The girl said, "I don't know. I don't eat cats."
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