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Finally feeling a little bit better after my " last supper" mentality.

Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Yesterday was the last supper mentality. Where you eat like crap because you are going to start eating good. Oh did I feast.. Ice cream sandwiches, peanut butter cup and oatmeal sandwich cookies. I literally felt like poo. Oh I deserved every moment of misery that I felt.

I tried the minute by minute approach and it was not working. I just felt out of control. It was a full force binge. No I did not track it. I wanted a big eraser to clear my mind of what had occurred.

I fell asleep early and woke up at midnight. Then I cleaned. I cleaned the dishes, the counter, the table and the living room. Omg... I felt like I cleared my mind. Instead of eating anything else bad, I poured a huge mug, 32 ounces of water and started to drink. I got a couple of hours of sleep from 3:30 till 6 am.

I woke up and you know what? Today was a new day. I tracked the food I have eaten. I have already had 8 glasses of water and I am planning on drinking 4 more. When the children I watch leave I am going to go for a nice long walk before the snow. Even if it is snowing I will go for a walk. I plan on going to bed early tonight. I planned today. I tracked today and I F O R G A V E M Y S E L F!!!!

I don't know how to explain it but it seems like a light switch has been turned on. My spark is ignited. I will end with this song. I just love this song. It is how I feel. I wont give up on me. When my husband had his heart surgery last month this song just got me through my workouts.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    That’s the way, best foot forward, getting straight back up...
    148 days ago
    I remember waking up one morning and looking at the empty candy wrappers, Pringles container and ice cream sandwich wrappers and thinking I can't believe I ate the whole thing. What made it easier to move on was realizing that all those calories would have added only 1 pound to my weight. And 1 pound I can deal with.

    You have exactly the right attitude to move on.
    Hang in there.
    149 days ago
    Love that song. We all stumble. You got yourself back up and kept moving forward. That's what we each have to learn. We all know what it feels like. We just have to let it hit us right between the eyes THEN get on with it. Good for you! emoticon
    149 days ago
    Forgiving yourself for being human is good..........we will all make mistakes in judgement
    now and then. Maybe........just maybe.......we are rebelling for everything we are giving up
    to have a healthy weight............

    I had a chocolate filled cupcake last night.....I have paid for that mess up today with higher
    blood sugar than usual.

    You can do this Jeanne...............I like the song, by the way....I did send it to my hubs for him to listen
    to. He has had open heart and several heart attacks.............

    Hang in there. We all stub our toe occasionally, what determines who we are is when we pick ourself
    up and get back in the fight.

    149 days ago
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