HSTENGER74
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Stress, Depression, & Food - The never ending fight

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

What a never ending battle this is. I'm determined to win and stay on that winner's podium this time!

I originally lost 70 pounds with the help of SparkPeople and reached my goal weight in 2013. I maintained that weight for six months. Then my mother died suddenly at the age of 58. I've never denied that I am an emotional eater. If there was ever a time that I dove into a pool of food, this was it. I very quickly regained half of the 70 pounds that I lost. Still grieving and in a place of depression, I thought, "Well, I've already regained 35 pounds. What does it matter now?" This, of course, just sent me into a food spiral. I didn't pay any attention to anything I was eating. If I wanted it, I ate it.

At the beginning of 2020, I decided that it was time to get serious again. I hit it hard in January and lost 15 pounds! That is certainly motivation to keep going! I backed off a bit for February. This was a conscious decision. I didn't want to burn out too quickly by being too strict. I lost another 5 pounds in February. Then March came, and COVID hit mid-month. Stress and depression again took over as I wasn't able to spend time with my friends. In addition, I was working seven days a week, with a minimum of 9 hours a day. Some days were 14 hours. From mid-March through the end of the year, I regained 30 pounds. This means I weighed 10 pounds more than I did at the beginning of the year!

I've decided to give it one more go in 2021. I started January 4th with a goal to hit my 'goal weight' again by the end of the year. That would be 58 pounds. That seems a very reasonable goal. I've told myself that wherever I end up at the end of this year, is where I'm staying. I have a lot of cute clothes that I've saved from 2013 that I would like to wear again. I'd hate to just give them away, so I'm going to fight to get to my goal.
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