250-499 SparkPoints 489

Oct 8 2020

Thursday, October 08, 2020

I normally don’t write in the blog section but what I’m feeling today requires a little more writing than the space on a feed update.... I truly am at the end of patience with myself, I’m so tired of the self sabotage, the over excessive eating and just plain laziness I’ve felt in quite a long time! I can continue to say my life is difficult everyday and the stress eats away at me and I eat when I’m stressed ect but in reality everyone is stressed and not everyone is as unhealthy as I am today ! I’ve fallen into a slight depression, I go to bed at night and I wonder if I’m going to wake up the next morning, I wonder if tomorrow will be different, if I’ll look into the mirror and smile instead of looking into it disgusted at what I’ve allowed myself to become! 39 yrs old 340 lbs at 5’5 is a fast track to dead by 40 I’ve tried everything and I shop relatively healthy nothing works, I know I’m doing something wrong I know my own mind is a factor and the fear I put in it is stopping me.... Basically in a nut shell I’m looking for others like me others who struggle with themselves, I need and want a very close support system, friends and guidance ! I apologize for the negative first time post, I just needed a venting source , I truly hope everyone had a fabulous day !! Keep on keeping on 💪🌸
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    50 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    Don't apologize for your blog. It is an outpouring of your soul and there is nothing wrong with that. I have been at this for 11 years now. I have gone through weight loss surgery, which helped greatly at that stage of my life. Gained some of it back, but still know what works for me. Meal planning, journalling, and exercise. The latter is very hard for me as I am bone on bone in both knees, so most exercise is very painful. I had to take over shopping to make sure the bad stuff didn't come in the house, as if it did, it would be in my mouth in time. Don't look at it like I did that I have 150 to lose. Do in in 10%. If you are 340, the your first goal is to lose 34 lbs. at 2 lbs a week, that is 17 weeks. You could lose more in the beginning depending upon the exercise you can do. Take it one day at a time. One meal at a time, one decision at a time. I put up signs where I would see many times during the day, to remind myself of my goal. You have to do this for you, no one else. We are all here for you however we can be.
    50 days ago
    Very much second that! Tracking is a great first step and comparing to your recommended food range. Then sloooowly adding exercise (don't do too fast and hurt yourself... It's not fun!)
    51 days ago
    Good for you for writing down some of your feelings. I think we all have experienced what you expressed at least once. Tomorrow is a new day. Think of one thing you can accomplish and then do it. You don't have to change everything at once. Are you tracking your food? Drinking water? Once you have mastered that first step choose something else to work on. Whatever you do, don't stop trying.

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    51 days ago
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