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Fretting or denial... is there a third choice?

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

I am kinda freaked out today. My neurologist called me... twice... this morning. And it was the doctor both times (she usually gives information to the nurses and has one of them call me). Turns out my EEG from a couple weeks ago had some abnormalities, so she ordered an extended EEG (48 hours) and an MRI with contrast to be done at their next available appointment... pending insurance approval. The EEG has already been approved (fast work), but the MRI is still pending. I have been scheduled for the EEG for October 19th at 8:15am. It’s an hour drive to get there, plus it will be rush hour, so I will have to be ready to go by 7am. It’s one thing to be up to walk the dog... it’s another to be ready and polished enough to go see the doctor! For a long while I was up by 5am, but these days I am having trouble getting up and out of bed by 7am. Oh well. I gotta do what I gotta do. I made the mistake of googling what an abnormal EEG meant... why do they always put the worst case scenario first?! Today was also my ultrasound. That was rather uncomfortable. I am having abdominal pain, so she’s just going to push hard on the painful spots to try and get a clear picture. Oof! At first I was fretting over everything and letting it freak me out (and to be honest it still is a little bit), and then I decided to practice denial... and I was trying to pretend none of this is happening. That doesn’t work too well with my obsessive brain, but I tried. There has to be a middle ground... somewhere between freaked out and fretting and total denial...? I have been venting where it’s safe space to do so, and listening (or reading) the advice that fellow travelers have shared with me, and it seems to be helping a little, but I am tending toward the fretting right now. It’s hard to turn off my brain when it’s in freak out mode. I am thinking some calm music and deep breathing are in order! Oh, and tomorrow is the Cooper-dog’s dental surgery, and we have to drop him at the vet by 8:15am. I worry about my little dog going under anesthesia, as he is now a senior dog. More to fret about... even with all that on my plate it wasn’t a horrible day today (despite the stormy weather)... I have had worse, lol. Wherever you are in the world I hope you have a marvelous day!!
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  • CATHYSFITLIFE
    Wow, you certainly have a lot on your plate! It's hard to not fret and obsess over things like what you are going through. It's perfectly normal, in my opinion. I try to remember though, that fretting and obsessing about it isn't going to help and that I just have to "go with the flow", so to speak. Try to distract yourself by reading a book or whatever else. I don't usually Google medical stuff anymore because, like you said, they usually put the worst case scenario first. Breathe, find a way to distract your mind from everything and try to relax. My thoughts are with you during all of this! emoticon
    26 days ago
  • DIANEDOESSMILES
    Best thing I've done for any of my anxiety,,, is to remember how many times my mind has gone to the WORSE CASE Scenario, but TADA I am STILL alive. ALL that time, energy etc wasted.

    My friend Karen was CONVIENCED from googling and a bad EEG that she had a very bad heart. NOPE In the end,, and this isn't going to be true for you, you are healthy but Karen weighs twice at least what she should,, it was that her heart can't keep up with the excess per say. He was point blank with her (LOL I INSISTED on being there) "There's nothing wrong with your heart now, but there WILL be if you do not exercise and lose weight." She's not done anything about that.

    I'd say try to not worry, but dang it's hard. By reminding myself of the ZILLIONS times my mind has gone to the worse case, and it's not happened, that really does help me. But it's taken me an eon to reach this point.

    With the stomach stuff, have you been looked at for SIBO? Small Intestines Bacterial Overgrowth? Goes hand in hand with anyone who has an auto immune disease. Yet strangely some Dr's insist "it doesn't exist" but it sure does. Once I was put on the first round of antibiotics, AHHHHH the pain is gone, the bloating isn't ,, I'll have to do another round, but that's the normal with this. It's not deadly, just painful, but also controllable.

    WHY DO Dr's always go worse case scenario first???? SIGH. I DID laugh at Cheri's comment,, Lord Google and that according to Lord Google (Who I call Dr Google, and he's NOT graduated) she's dead. LOLOLOL That girl!! LOLOLOL
    26 days ago
  • DESERTDREAMERS
    Wow, when it rains, it pours. Hope you can get to the bottom of your migraines & all. emoticon

    26 days ago
  • JILLIAN0216
    Was the abnormal EEG when you were having the abdominal pain? I would venture the pain may have something to do with it. Like MNABOY said don't worry or deny. Do your best to relax and do what is enjoyable to you.
    26 days ago
  • CHERIRIDDELL
    I had to give up referring to Lord Google as according to Lord Google I died a few years ago! All joking aside I think the best policy is to wait till the doctor tell you what it means.Both you and Cooper will be in my prayers.
    27 days ago
  • MNABOY
    What will be will be but there will be something that can be done. Don't worry or deny just accept that all will work out.
    27 days ago
  • SPARKLENORTH
    My heart is with you through all this, it's tough. I looked up abnormal EEG and after all the worst-case scenarios, it states "migraines." With your history (past and current), we'll go to the migraines as the reason for the abnormal EEG. With the frequency you have these, it's very possible you were having one when the last EEG was carried out, even if it was low grade. I hope that helps. I give my hats off to you for undergoing a MRI. I've had one and that was enough. I will send out loads of positive healing thoughts for Cooper. I hope all that goes well with him. emoticon
    27 days ago
  • DOVESEYES
    Hugs hope it all turns out well :)
    27 days ago
  • HARROWJET
    emoticon emoticon
    27 days ago
  • _CYNDY55_
    emoticon & God Bless You!
    27 days ago
  • RENEE7575
    emoticon
    27 days ago
  • IAMTHEELLIE
    I hope your results are nothing major! I used to get anxiety attacks...I never got the hang of meditation but found that artistic tasks that require high attention (like drawing/painting) really help me get out of my head
    27 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    You poor dear! Everything has a way of hitting @ once. Wishing you good luck w/the results of the abdominal ultrasound. Hoping that the extended EEG and MRI give some answers. Hard to just partition this things and deal w/one @ a time, but . . . it does help.

    HUGS and prayers.
    27 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    Wow seems like everything is hitting you at once. Just try and take a deep breath and deal with one thing at a time. That's all you can do. It will be what it is, and you'll go from there. emoticon You can do this.
    27 days ago
  • RREDFORD5
    Ohohoh! I can help with the Cooper dental work part: Chrissy got dental work done under general anesthesia, and I really worried about her for the same reason; it was just past her 19th birthday. She sailed through with the same attitude she'd always had, and I believe Cooper will do it, too! She was a little groggy but alert when I picked her up, and didn't have any nausea or anything. Soft cool food for supper, but then she was her old self in the morning emoticon I hope that helps a bit. As to the rest of it, I'll just be thinking good thoughts, and so forth. I don't blame you for fretting, either, but the breathing will help. emoticon emoticon
    27 days ago
  • SUSANM18
    It's hard not to worry when there are so many unknowns. Expect the best and prepare for the worst. Just try to deal with what you have to deal with today, and then the next day, and then the next day. I'll be praying for you.

    Hope Cooper's dental surgery goes well.
    27 days ago
  • ONEKIDSMOM
    Breathe in, hold, let it out... praying for calm and not fretting for you, for wisdom and guidance for your health care folks, and a little extra for Cooper-dog, just because. emoticon emoticon
    27 days ago
  • PITRPATR
    Sounds like you have a big weight on your shoulders. As far as the testing and waiting goes...my husband used to tell me, "don't worry about it until you have something to worry about." Much easier said than done! Hoping the best for u and ur dog!
    27 days ago
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