Thursday, September 17, 2020
I wrote a blog yesterday about noticing some big hang-ups around my food relationship. I've been watching it all day and seen several times that I had the desire to eat when I feel overwhelmed. Instead, I have been taking steps to get stuff done, so I feel less overwhelmed. I think I've made the connection between feeling powerless and stuffing myself with food before, and addressing this feels really big. I'm actually excited and full of trepidation. Today my daughter needed to fast for a blood test, so I took her out to grab breakfast afterward at our local co-op. As soon as I offered her breakfast, I was thinking about things I could also get, and I recognized my mind was going down the list of ways I could 'treat' myself as well. I looked at the faulty thinking, as I wasn't at all hungry. So instead I took myself to the aromatherapy section and just hung out there while she paid for her food. I got myself a black tea ( we ran out yesterday at home) and walked out feeling totally satisfied. It feels tiring to be so mindful, but also essential if I'm really going to change anything long term. I'm going to share more about the writing program I started yesterday if anyone is interested, I am finding it a new way to think about food and my relationship with food.