What Does the Future Hold?
Sunday, September 13, 2020
I've been trying to exercise a little. Yesterday i did 5 minutes...which probably is laughably insignificant to most of you...but when standing up long enough to make my breakfast is a challenge, 5 minutes of exercise is rough. Today I will try for another 5 minutes on top of the first...but not immediately following. My 93 year old friend has been doing the recumbent bike for 5-6 minutes twice a day.. Sounds impressive to me. I don't know if I could do it or not. I have a recumbent bike downstairs. Yeah. Downstairs. "Aye,, there's the rub"!
Stairs are becoming harder and harder and by that I mean that I can barely get up or down the 6 deck steps into our house. It's weakness, yeah but that isn't the hardest part. The hardest part is pain. People always say to me, "You can walk, I've seen you!" Yes. I CAN. but it hurts so much that I need the crutches to take some off the weight off of my feet or the power wheelchair for distances. The crutches are getting harder and harder to use because i have bad elbow and shoulder joints. They all need to be replaced but it ain't gonna happen because the bone for each of the elbow/shoulder replacements is the same bone they need to anchor the prosthesis. They hollow out the bone and insert a steel rod into it. And the elbow and the shoulder both need the same bone. Can't be done. I already had my right shoulder replaced but my rotator cuff failed and the hardware all collapsed. To fix this is an incredibly painful and difficult surgery. It is also risky because to dig that metal rod out of the arm bone carries the risk of shattering that bone (the humorous?) So I've decided not to have the surgery. I just have to live with the pain and the fact that my arm is almost useless. Unfortunately, that humorous cannot be used to do an elbow replacement on that arm. So the onus is on the left arm where I just have to decide whether to fix the elbow or the shoulder. It's a tough decision. Sadly, both are necessary.
Anyway. how did I get onto that topic? Oh yes, my arms are killing me with the crutches. I don't like to think about my future. It's a bleak one. There is a song we've sung at church. There is a line in it that says "I know who holds the future.....and I know Who holds my hand." I would say that if i had to choose a lyric that is most relevant to me,, that would be it.
And one of the verses in the Bible elaborates on that theme. Here it is:
I will be your God throughout your lifetime—
until your hair is white with age.
I made you, and I will care for you.
I will carry you along and save you. Isaiah 46:4 NLT
Whenever I start to feel anxious about the "How's" and the "what if's" I say that verse to myself and I always feel better.
Well I will leave you on that note.