and it was such a promising morning!
Wednesday, September 02, 2020
yeah. today slid into being trash. am i eating my anxiety and emotions? you bet i am! my friend, i am shoving chocolate raspberry mug cake in my (appropriately named) cakehole RIGHT. THIS. SECOND. and earlier i had a mock alfredo. just shoved it right in my face.
on the plus side:
--my husband will be home soon so i can go to a quiet, solitary place and be the Not-Responsible One for the rest of the night. i am going to disconnect and chill.
--i still managed to use not-god-awful ingredients, so i didn't totally torpedo myself. mock alfredo (560 calories, 77 carbs). mug cake (275 calories, 30 carbs). 23 grams of protein between the two. i still have up to 102 calories left for the day and 24 carbs. y-e-s-s-s-s-s!
some day i will finish this blog. some day i will finish this blog. i have been trying to type this for three quarters of an hour but there is no end to the interruptions and the pacing and being talked at with raised volume. almost all. day. long. and i am losing my mind and if my husband doesn't get home soon, i will be a sobbing, incoherent, gibbering mess. stupid anxiety.
ok. typing things. there was going to be a point here, somewhere. about being able to make good decisions even when i'm being bad and stress eating. sure, it was gonna be more eloquent, but whatever. i learned valuable stuff. yay me. and i made it through this blog. also yay me. and now my son is crying because i won't play a board game with him because he messed around and refused to do what he was supposed to do today and now it's taking him forever and there's no way he'll get it done tonight so this is going to stretch into tomorrow and i am so tired of constantly telling him he needs to take care of the same things over and over and over. and i'm tired of being the enforcer.
blech. ok. here's hoping tomorrow will be better. if anyone needs me, i will be sitting under my desk