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and it was such a promising morning!

Wednesday, September 02, 2020

yeah. today slid into being trash. am i eating my anxiety and emotions? you bet i am! my friend, i am shoving chocolate raspberry mug cake in my (appropriately named) cakehole RIGHT. THIS. SECOND. and earlier i had a mock alfredo. just shoved it right in my face.

on the plus side:
--my husband will be home soon so i can go to a quiet, solitary place and be the Not-Responsible One for the rest of the night. i am going to disconnect and chill.
--i still managed to use not-god-awful ingredients, so i didn't totally torpedo myself. mock alfredo (560 calories, 77 carbs). mug cake (275 calories, 30 carbs). 23 grams of protein between the two. i still have up to 102 calories left for the day and 24 carbs. y-e-s-s-s-s-s!

some day i will finish this blog. some day i will finish this blog. i have been trying to type this for three quarters of an hour but there is no end to the interruptions and the pacing and being talked at with raised volume. almost all. day. long. and i am losing my mind and if my husband doesn't get home soon, i will be a sobbing, incoherent, gibbering mess. stupid anxiety.

ok. typing things. there was going to be a point here, somewhere. about being able to make good decisions even when i'm being bad and stress eating. sure, it was gonna be more eloquent, but whatever. i learned valuable stuff. yay me. and i made it through this blog. also yay me. and now my son is crying because i won't play a board game with him because he messed around and refused to do what he was supposed to do today and now it's taking him forever and there's no way he'll get it done tonight so this is going to stretch into tomorrow and i am so tired of constantly telling him he needs to take care of the same things over and over and over. and i'm tired of being the enforcer.

blech. ok. here's hoping tomorrow will be better. if anyone needs me, i will be sitting under my desk

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Interruptions are part of life. Take a moment and see what is being said to you. It might me instead of typing time it might be excise time by playing with the kids or cleaning. Take those lemons and make some lemonade. emoticon emoticon
    133 days ago
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    I hope your day is off to a better start. Sorry it was such a rough day but you clawed your way through it without a complete derailment. Deep breaths :)
    136 days ago
    As the mother of a boy with ADHD, I understand. Be patient with him and yourself. Maybe a longer walk. emoticon
    137 days ago
    Could have been real cake (far more dangerous) than a portioned out mug cake! I'd say you're not doing too bad at all today, especially as a parent! I'm not a parent yet, but even I know kids are exhausting!
    137 days ago
    Sending hugs, parenting can be super exhausting. It sounds like you did the best you could with a rough day!
    137 days ago
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