The good news and the bad news
Saturday, August 01, 2020
Yesterday I was wondering how to get some exercise in when I decided to go with an old standby and put some music on and dance. I got 26 whole exercise minutes and I almost cried with happiness because I didn't think could do that. I had to take a nap afterwards but i was refreshed enough after the nap to make dinner, take a short, leisurely stroll with my fiance and then come home to do the dishes. I got a little over 8000 steps, the highest number I've gotten since I put my Fitbit back on. I'm pretty happy about all of this.
The bad news is that I got my wedding dress yesterday and it was too big. I sent my measurements in but I guess my measurements have shrunk. I'm not sure I like the style on me, either, so I think I'm going to return the dress and keep looking. It's hard looking for a wedding dress and not being able to try one on before I order. But I'll have to figure something out.
And, I know it's silly to make a big deal out of it, but my abdomen is covered in scars that weren't there before the surgery and they are, frankly, ugly. The big one goes most of the way across just under my ribs, and I have a scar just above my belly button and a bigger one near my right side where the drain from the surgery was. I know they will fade but they look terrible now. And then the rest of me looks how it always looks when I lose weight: deflated. I know that with exercise and time that will get better too, but along with the scars I just found it slightly depressing. Not that I was planning to show off my stomach in a wedding dress, or that I've worn a bikini since I was a teenager. And having the scars is better than dying, and looking deflated is better than being unhealthy. It's just that the aesthetics are just bad.
My fiance has promised me he's only working a half day today, which is unusual for him on a Saturday, and I want to go somewhere where we can do some walking. Somewhere tree-lined where I won't get too hot, and obviously not indoors either because I'm staying away from people as much as possible because my future step-son was exposed to the virus. He's fine so far, and I hope it stays that way. I'm looking forward to hanging out with the fiance and I hope we can both be distracted from the things worrying us later today.