"Here is to all the fathers out there who have been able to believe in their children no matter what."
"What are you doing, Dad?" "Not a hole lot."
BAD DAD JOKES!
1. When driving past a graveyard: People are dying to get in there!
2. "Dad, I'm thirsty." "Hi, Thursday! I'm Friday!"
3. "Put the cat out." "I didn't know it was on fire!"
4. "Where's your bin?" "I haven't been anywhere!"
5. "Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, they don't fit me!"
6. "Pull my finger!"
The meaning of opaque is unclear.
I wasn't going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
If there was someone selling marijuana in our neighbourhood, weed know about it.
It’s a lengthy article about ancient Japanese sword fighters but I can Sumurais it for you.
It’s not that the man couldn't juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
So what if I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘apocalypse’? It’s not the end of the world.
The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester...
Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
It's Father's Day! Enjoy your day with the fathers' in your life and let them know what they mean to you. The first Father's Day was June 19, 1910 as a result of the efforts of Sonora Smart Dodd from Spokane, Washington. During speeches for Mother's Day, she reflected about her father who raised 6 kids by himself after their mother had passed away. She wanted a way to honor the sacrifices her father made so she spearheaded a Father's Day movement for the 3rd Sunday of June.
--Atheist Solidarity Day: today is a day to raise awareness and support for those who struggle to be in non-religious in their communities; many have to hide their non-belief due to social pressure or, in some countries, physical harm.
--Family Awareness Day: observed on the 3rd Sunday of June; today is an event by SAFE, Substance Abuse Free Environment, which facilitates parent-child dialogue regarding substance abuse.
--Global Orgasm Day: also known as World Orgasm for World Peace; for today, well-satisfied participants contemplate world peace; I'm not making this up--google it.
--Go Skateboarding Day: today promotes skateboarding and ways to make skateboarding more accessible such as public parks; afterwards, take me to the ER.
--Husband Caregiver Day: observed on the 3rd Sunday of June; no info as to the why but what little I could find, today seems to be a day to honor the relationship of a husband caring for an ailing wife; if you know of someone in that role, give them a hand and a break.
--International Day of Yoga: today celebrates the physical, mental and spiritual connection through breathing exercises and meditation in yoga; practice those sun salutations.
--Make Music Day: this is a complement celebration to World Music Day; today encourages us to make music and try our hand at an instrument; some areas have free concerts that musicians can play along.
--National Day of the Gong: today is a double celebration as it honors an unique instrument throughout history and it salutes The Gong Show 1976-1978.
--National Peaches and Cream Day: today is a salute to a summer treat in whatever form you desire.
--National Selfie Day: it had to happen; celebrates selfies and yourself; a great way to present yourself to the world; take today to ask "What am I trying to say about myself?".
--National Turkey Lovers' Day: observed on the 3rd Sunday of June; today is for enjoying any form or version of turkey you like.
--World Giraffe Day: today raises awareness of the challenges giraffes face to thrive from such as poachers and loss of habitat.
--World Handshake Day: today is a day to remind us to mindful in our handshakes as a connection to each other; for now, practice the non-touching forms of greeting.
--World Hydrography Day: today is a celebration of the science that measures and describes the physical features of navigable portions of Earth.
--World Motorcycle Day: today promotes the freedom on the road (thinking of you, Nell); the first motorcycle was steam-powered and made by Pierre Michaux in Paris, 1860; in 1885, the first internal-combustion powered motorcycle was made.
--World Music Day: today is a worldwide movement that honors the uplifting impact of music on our lives; encourages to really listen and absorb the music.